Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office | Page 14

Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55012

Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55014

Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55016

Yeah, let's not blame her for something we all forgot.

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55085

I didn't realize how many of Angela's opinions I agreed with, until she tried to have my kneecap shattered for sleeping with her husband. She makes a lot of very sound points.

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55086

Just take her name off of everything.

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55163

How would anyone even know--

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55187

This is a real thing. 'Belsnickel is a crotchety, fur-clad gift giver related to other companions of st. Nicholas in the folklore of southwestern Germany.'

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55225

'His partner, zwarte piet, or black Peter, a slave boy, often portrayed in colorful pantaloons and blackface.'

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55229

Ow! You hit people with that thing?

Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55254

Pam, really? Come on.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55412

I wash my hands at least six times a day. Toilet seat covers? Yes, thank you, even when I pee. Apparently, none of that is protection enough. Not when it comes to Meredith.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55420

I can appreciate that. I also only eat local, organic produce.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55464

Wow.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55467

You're a saint, Pam.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55475

Yeah, yeah, sure. I'd love to..

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55516

Angela.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55522

Ow!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55564

You're waterboarding me!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55566

I guess so.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55585

Hey, look who's back, Dwight Junior.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55635

My friend has one of these. Fool-proof espresso every time.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55644

Actually, it's pronounced 'espresso'' Wait. That's what you said. I apologize, I just assumed you would mispronounce it. So'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55646

Try this one.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55657

You guys, I kind of think I want to try them all. Is that crazy?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55675

YOLO!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55678

It's a thing. It means 'you only live once'.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55680

Well'

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55682

Yes!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55693

That's enough Kevin.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55744

That's enough!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55747

It's insane! They need to have the A.C. on year round! January too!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55829

Everyone! Now that we have all this energy, why don't we move the copier into the annex like we've always wanted to?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55841

Huh?

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55844

One, two, three!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55846

Wait! It's beautiful. Hardwood! I always knew it was down here, I just never dreamed that I would actually see it.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55848

Kevin, move. I can't pull up the rug if you're standing on it with your rhinoceros feet.

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55853

Everybody shut up and work!

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55861

Kevin, can-

Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55866

Annex. It must open something in the annex.

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 55894

What?

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 55900

Aw.

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 55942

'Loyalty pledge'?

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 55980

People, it's 2013. Erin is a strong, independent woman. Who says she has to end up with any man?

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56033

I'll watch it. Let's get this over with.

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56081

Oh.

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56085

User error. I've heard of that happening to other people.

Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56089

Just ' I don't wanna make assumptions based on people's physical appearances.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56270

Yeah, but Jim, Dwight's a weirdo. We can't blame a weirdo for bringing in weirdos. We can blame a normal for creating a situation where a weirdo was allowed to bring in weirdos.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56305

Angela. You're going to find out, so I thought I'd let you know that, uh, Robert invited me too.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56456

He said he wanted me there for support.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56458

Angela's husband and I are in love. But, as a politician in this town, you still need the conventional blonde wife on your lawn signs. He is risking everything to have me there today. Me.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56460

Pam, what can be done?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56494

I was politely saying nothing can be done. I thought I was clear.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56496

That painting is just... How can anyone that weighs less than a guinea hen be so terrifying?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56545

One of his tee shots can wipe out a whole owl population.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56593

Yeah.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56596

Maybe I should be insulted that he only invited me here to be his token Mexican friend. But, he could of invited any number of Hispanics that he knows. His gardener, Rogelio. Or he could've invited... Rogelio. But, he chose me. Rogelio's Malaysian... The son of a bitch is Malaysian.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56598

He put me here.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56648

Ow! Robert?!

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56651

Yes. Sorry about that.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56678

Darryl, everyone seems to be pairing off. Do you want to pretend to be a couple so we get the...

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56730

All right, it'll be easy. Don't be nervous, just follow my...

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56732

Hi. We'd like a couples discount on a pair of foot massages.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56754

We are together. Romantically.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56756

What happened? We thought you were coming back tomorrow.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56791

So, you're concerned about peoples' long absence from their place of work?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56802

A quarter's three months. That's how long you've been gone.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56857

You're clearly snooping.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57085

That's her private property.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57089

Andy. That is her private property.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57098

You could all be doing this, just saying.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57453

I watch way too many ads online and I don't do enough situps. So I bought these. Now, every time an ad pops up online, I get 30 seconds of ab blasting. I call it Ads for Abs. Ironically, I learned about the boots from an ad online.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57454

I'll tell you why. Because...the floor...is...disgusting. Yeah, my trainer said everybody fails working out, that's how you win. Alright Ok. Kevin? A little help buddy?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57456

Can someone please help me?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57458

Just- People! I'm not going anywhere. Soon, my core will get strong again and when that happens I'll be able to- Head rush! Ah! Can someone please help me? I- Hey! I'm not going anywhere! I'll be right here! Oh that's not good. Hey guys! I've got twenty bucks for anyone who will help me. Kevin, would you like a pizza?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57460

Oh, thank god.

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57475

I'm so sorry, Dwight. And if you want me to be there, of course I will go. I just... have a personal training session...

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57477

I get red dirt. Nobody is getting red dirt. I should've kept my mouth shut. We're not even that close. I've only known Dwight... 12 years. 12 years. Time is a son of a bitch.

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57479

You invited me. You threw the red dirt in my face.

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57496

Who is that?

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57498

You have a brother?

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57500

They're a descriptive people.

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57528

Who is that?

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57534

Dwight has a sister?

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57536

She's beautiful.

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57538

That's it for me.

Season 9 · Episode 17 · Line 57556

Toby, how do you propose that we-

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57695

There's a promo for the new documentary on the web.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57737

Hey guys, I just found another promo. It's in Danish. I guess it's gonna start airing in Denmark.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57792

Dumpster Man.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57796

'Three PM Girl'

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57799

It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57801

Are you kidding me? It's like half the show is secret footage.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57805

Meredith!

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57808

Yes, Erin. They film us at night when we're sleeping. Cause that makes great TV!

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57811

I'm sorry sweetie. This whole thing is just freaking me out.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57814

I have been very honest with you guys. In a way that could seriously impact the political career of a very good friend of mine. You're not going to use any of that, are you?

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57815

Ok everyone, turn off your mikes.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57819

They caught us kissing on Halloween.

Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57882

Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 14)