Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Customer service rep and pop culture authority.

956 quotes · page 7 of 10

1. I'm not single. I have a man.

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35762

2. I don't want to bring my friends, why can't it just be the two of us?

   Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36022

3. Well why don't you invite your friends?

   Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36024

4. Yeah, where are your kids?

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5. I want to watch the Kardashians! I don't want to watch boring -

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6. It's about a family. A real-life family.

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7. You're adorable. You need to go for it. I'm going to be, like, mad at you if you don't -

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8. Why?

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9. What drama?

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10. So unnecessary.

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11. I mean, if the salesmen weren't acting like such a bunch of stuck-up losers, then this day wouldn't be so bad - did you ever think of that?

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36501

12. Don't use your cute baby to make us like you.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36503

13. We're focusing, we're focusing, we can't talk.

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14. Only three tickets.

    Season 6 · Episode 19 · Line 36756

15. Stop telling me how to spend my tickets.

    Season 6 · Episode 19 · Line 36758

16. Then, I spilled my drink, and they wouldn't give me a refill.

    Season 6 · Episode 19 · Line 36929

17. Me, too Oscar.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36957

18. 'My name is Kevin, I'm an accountant.' See I did the voice.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37088

19. But parody is always derivative.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37090

20. Do they still get paid?

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21. But you're an accountant too.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37201

22. This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean, I know what a four feels like. I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to Hell. All right? Thanks for nothing.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37280

23. I don't know if she was white.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37282

24. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37284

25. Well, they say it's because of texting, but maybe you're right.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37286

26. Never thought of myself as an executive before.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37288

27. I can't think of any CEO's, any race.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37290

28. I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.

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29. Well, there's a lot of pressure from my parents to settle down and marry an Indian guy.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37328

30. Indian guys always wear their cell phones outside their pants. It's so dorky.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37330

31. Just put it in your pocket.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37332

32. Can you stop micromanaging? I know how to do this.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37362

33. This girl was really rude to me at the mall. So I created a fake I.M. account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37365

34. Oh, that is so good.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37367

35. Oh, that's okay. Ryan coached me.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37369

36. Would you ask that same question if I was white? We're so in.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37372

37. When I become executive, I'm gonna make Ryan manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37374

38. Namaste.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37426

39. Hello.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37428

40. Sometimes my bangs cover it.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37430

41. I do find that offensive, actually.

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42. For hobbies, um, yoga, belly dancing, snake charming. Beds of nails. I like lying on them.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37468

43. Dwight: What are you doing?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37470

44. God, I hate you so much!

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37472

45. And the best part is is that I get a business stipend to buy all new clothes. So you can totally buy any of my old clothes that I'm not gonna need anymore.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37508

46. Oh. Actually I was thinking about clothes that I was just gonna give to Goodwill anyway.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37510

47. Thank you, Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37513

48. I'll never forget everything that you've done for me.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37515

49. Because I never forget anything.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37517

50. Wait, why would you go all the way to the Poconos to P.F. Chang's when we have the Great Wall in Scranton.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37564

51. Wait, that's crazy far. Are you sure she's not cheating?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37566

52. Oh, hey, I love your earrings.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37722

53. Did Michael get them for you?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37724

54. Where?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37726

55. Claire's? Zales? Ricky's? Earring, Earrings? Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat? Where?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37728

56. Franklin Mills? King of Prussia? Springfield? Governor's Place?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37730

57. Eughh, Ryan, I do not want you hanging around Michael anymore.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37950

58. Well, because I thought that it was a book about Anthropology the store.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38109

59. Cause it's next to they baby section, okay?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38111

60. I don't really know why you're screaming at me right now.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38113

61. That's Meredith's cake. It's her birthday.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38115

62. Hey guys, sorry I'm late.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38296

63. Guys, I couldn't help it, it is so boring where we work. I mean, it's as interesting as a morgue. It might be less interesting than a morgue.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38299

64. Of course I'm the leak! I think I Tweeted it! I can't control what I say to people, I spend the whole day talking! I mean, I video chat, I Skype, I text, I Tweet, I phone, I Woof...

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38301

65. That idea sucks.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38308

66. Uh, if you turn me in, I'm turning in Darryl.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38312

67. Ryan, we're doing the dance!

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38416

68. You make it so hard to love you sometimes.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38420

69. This summer, I did the minority executive training program at Yale. You guys, I'm, like, really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, 'Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?' And I'd be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah,' giving you the exact right answer.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38452

70. I would just like to say something off of what Darryl said about the level playing field. That is actually a zoning issue. So, thank you.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38525

71. Yeah, your nephew is so lame.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38620

72. You know what Dwight? You need to go back there, and you need to 'Pretty Woman' their asses.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38721

73. What did I say?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38725

74. I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38726

75. Big mistake! Huge!'

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38749

76. You shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38777

77. I thought they were kind of cute.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38784

78. Ooooh!

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39003

79. What time is it?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39009

80. What?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39178

81. Is that a blow torch?!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39182

82. Can we please talk about how gross Meredith is?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39220

83. I guess maybe you should go marry a meth dealer with crabs.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39223

84. Like Jim and Pam, say whaaat?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39359

85. I'm on Sheryl Crow's side in that whole thing, so I feel really weird right now.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39487

86. me!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39777

87. Josh Duhamel.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39779

88. I get that. I get that.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39923

89. Um, if I'm out, I'm going to sue this ENTIRE COMPANY for discrimination.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39999

90. Um, fifteen thousand bucks, Oscar.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40001

91. Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40063

92. If I have to vote for someone, I don't want it to be someone who can beat me.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40143

93. I heard your momma had more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40147

94. Try 'Jesus.'

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40233

95. Columbia Street in Washington Ave! When is he gonna come out?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40442

96. No really? Is there time to change this?! That show! Now first they say that Mr. Schu doesn't know anything about choreography, then like three episodes later he's this fantastic choreographer?! Pick a lane people!

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40466

97. And what was with Jesse's sudden turn on Rachel, between Dream-On and Funk. Where the heck did that come from?! Honestly that show, it's just. It's irresponsible.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40467

98. Finn.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40510

99. Rachel.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40512

100. You have to stop.

     Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40514