Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office

Customer service rep and pop culture authority.

956 quotes · page 1 of 10

1. I have a customer meeting.

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2. I just had the longest meeting.

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3. Um, I like that one I think.

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4. Uh, thank you.

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5. It was you.

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6. Yeah, it was.

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7. No. No, just something that was written in the ladies' room wall.

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8. Spicy Curry', what's that mean?

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9. Yeah, but why'd you give it to me?

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10. This is a bowler-

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11. Yeah, but everyone else-

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12. I think I'm gonna share some Cadillac Fajitas with Toby. Toby is so cute, except he has that stupid kid.

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13. No, we were just hoping you wouldn't do those characters, like last time.

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14. I'm okay!

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15. Let go of me!

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16. Definitely, definitely, Jim.

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17. How about you Pam?

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18. Why is that?

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19. Oh, like ... the movie about the Indian girl who plays soccer?

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20. Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do that. I don't really play soccer or anything.

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21. Hi-yah!

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22. Wow, that's actually pretty cool Dwight.

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23. What?

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24. Are you going to happy hour later?

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25. Wait, not Roy. Say it's not your fiance.

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26. You said 'constructive complements'; that doesn't make any sense.

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27. I thought you read these every week.

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28. I'm sorry guys; can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about.

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29. Good one, Kev.

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30. Oh, good, that was from me.

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31. Yikes.

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32. That's like, the creepiest thing that I've ever seen.

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33. I will steal the iPod.

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34. Damn it.

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35. Okay, well, I guess I will take that book of short stories.

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36. Hey.

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37. I don't know.

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38. So, I guess, you really didn't want the shower radio that bad. No, I just like tea.

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39. I don't know why Oscar didn't like the gift. I know he wanted a shower radio. I mean, I totally remember him telling me that he wanted one.

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40. Yes, totally, 'cause I was just gonna throw this out anyway.

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41. Mmm-hmm.

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42. Sorry?

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43. Wait, Michael?

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44. Why did you tell us to bring a bathing suit?

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45. Yeah, but I bought a bathing suit.

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46. I took the tags off already.

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47. Yes, I brought my duffel bag and a sleeping bag.

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48. Definitely some place you can swim.

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49. Did you hear something?

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50. Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.

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51. Oh my God! That is so exciting! Can I be a bridesmaid?

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52. Listen, you don't have to answer now. But how are you going to do your hair?

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53. You'd look like an angel. I'm seriously going to cry.

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54. Pam?

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55. Jim, why didn't you tell me you had a crush on Pam?

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56. Are you moving back here?

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57. Because Toby used to sit there, but he had to move over there because of an allergy.

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58. Weird.

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59. I'm serious. My closet doors will not shut. I mean, it only takes so long to measure to make sure that clothes will hang up because aren't all hangers like that big? So I don't understand why the closet engineer didn't think of that. So now I'm doing this new thing where I just leave piles of clothes on the floor and then I walk around the piles to get an outfit...

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60. Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome. Snow cones...

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61. Oh my God, he is so cute! Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me?

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62. Oh, please Jim? Please, please, Jim. Please, please, please? He's so cute. I like him

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63. But it's so weird to fall asleep. And I just hate it. 'Cause I try to go to bed at, like, 9:30.

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64. Oh, long-term, definitely. Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together... but don't tell him that, okay? Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows?

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65. You just asked a girl out on the phone!

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66. That looks, cool, where is that?

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67. That hotel, it looks so romantic.

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68. I went with my parents to the Shadowbrook Farm once. That was also really romantic. Oh, my God, I wish a boy would take me there. I would need a fun new top. You know what a great color is on me? Lavender, actually.

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69. I'll tell you one thing. I am not going to be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan.

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70. I want an SUV... with three rows of seats.

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71. Oh, me too.

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72. What about second base? Like if Michael said that he got to second base with you? Does that mean you like closed a deal?

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73. I mean that's a baseball term, right?

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74. ...and you went to Chili's and he got to second base with you.

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75. He told everybody so I just want to know is that a baseball term...

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76. You were probably feeling really depressed and sad and that's why you did that thing with Michael.

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77. How can someone so beautiful be so sad?

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78. Nothing. Oh except, oh my God Jim. Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally hooked up. It was awesome.

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79. And it was so funny 'cause we were at this bar with his friends and I was sitting next to him the whole night and he wasn't making a move, so in my head I was like 'Ryan, what's taking you so long?' And then he kissed me. And I didn't know what to say.

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80. So I said, 'Ryan, what took you so long?' And I just said that to him, can you believe that?

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81. Oh my God, Jim, is that embarrassing? I'm embarrassed.

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82. Oh, thank God, because I was nervous, Jim, you will not believe.

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83. So nervous, but now -- now I have a boyfriend.

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84. I don't know what he's thinking, but I would just be so psyched if we just dated forever.

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85. Cool. Hey, so... do you want to... do something tonight? Or...

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86. I mean, I know it's Valentine's Day, or whatever, but there's totally no pressure at all, of any kind. What so ever. So...

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87. OK, That's cool. I completely understand.

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88. It's frustrating, because we'd be so perfect together.

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89. Yeah, it would be so great if he was.

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90. Okay, cool. Is it okay if I invite Ryan?

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91. Is Brad okay?

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92. This is karma because of what he did to Jennifer Aniston.

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93. Why'd you pick the V.A. for the reception?

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94. But he did a great job. June 10th is perfect. I want a June wedding. I've always wanted one. Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married?

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95. Oh.

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96. Yep.

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97. Oh my God, she is so cute, I want to die. Don't you just love kids, Angela?

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98. God I cannot wait to get pregnant and have babies!

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99. ...that I thought you should know ...

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100. I think something a little fishy is going on.

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