Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office (page 8)

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956 quotes · page 8 of 10

1. You know what? I'm so confused. Is this a Glee watching party? Or a Glee pausing party? 'Cause we keep stopping it, to get a history lesson from...

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40525

2. The show's back on, what happened?

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40551

3. Oh my God what song was that?

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40554

4. What song was it?

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40557

5. Okay, they did Blinded by the Light and they did it with an actual blind guy. Was it worth it Jim? 'Cause we missed it!

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40561

6. Ahhh! What's going on?!?!

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40608

7. Good luck Michael!

   Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40664

8. Are you guys meeting about WUPHF? You know that that was my idea, right?

   Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40886

9. I said to Ryan, 'I try to call you, and you don't have your phone. I try to I.M. You, and you're not online. I wish there was a way that I could do everything all at once, and I could just be like this little dog going, 'Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!''

   Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40887

10. I think I'm gonna stay here.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40889

11. I do, I do. This isn't right.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40891

12. But I--it's not right.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40893

13. Is the nail place Koreans or whites?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41159

14. Good. And the dry cleaners?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41161

15. Good.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41163

16. I have a computer question. Hey Oscar?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41167

17. Can you move aside so that I can ask Michael?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41169

18. Michael, how do I create a new tab?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41171

19. Oscar it must be killing you to know that Michael is smarter than you.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41175

20. Yeah, but it was a really smart thing to be right about, actually.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41177

21. It's present time, you guys. Happy Holidays from your friends at Sabre.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41378

22. Sabre is actively looking for ways to involve me as minority executive trainee. So I suggested choosing the annual Christmas gift to the employees. And they said, 'Oh, yes. Perfect. Thank you, Kelly. Finally, something for you to do.'

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41380

23. It's a Hello Kitty laptop sleeve.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41381

24. I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41385

25. I said, 'I wonder.' I didn't say, 'I think.'

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41389

26. Blankets, what am I, five?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41391

27. He's rubbing his neck.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41449

28. Well, you're almost 40. Oh, do you not want kids?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41650

29. So where's the ring?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41652

30. That is a great idea. Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41662

31. Michael, this is the gift that corporate gave us that I picked out. You're re-gifting this to me.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41874

32. Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41876

33. This is a fast food receipt from April.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41878

34. God, how many number nines did you order?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41880

35. What happened? Is there a ring?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41978

36. Come on!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41980

37. Wow.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41986

38. Yes, I told everyone.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41989

39. Oh, God, please stop!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42050

40. Why are you eating stem first?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42147

41. You're killing him, Michael!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42158

42. Oh, Pam, soda. Caffeine!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42197

43. Meredith, what are you doing? I could be pregnant!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42200

44. My resolution was to get more attention.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42202

45. Cake.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42350

46. Oh, baby.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42360

47. But perhaps no achievement is greater than his on-again, off-again girlfriend.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42384

48. Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42386

49. It is important to brand yourself, so I have a couple of things in works. 'The Business Bitch', 'The Diet Bitch', 'The Shopping Bitch', 'The Etiquette Bitch.'

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42387

50. I could sit here, and I could tell you the ten secrets of business, and you would have a great time, and you would learn a lot. But who better to tell you than the Yale University adjunct professor in management, Professor Scott Powell, who I have on my Blackberry. It's ringing.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42388

51. Profess Powell, you are on speakerphone.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42390

52. Do you think you could tell us the ten secrets of business?

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42392

53. Come on Scott, please? It's me.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42394

54. Mm-hmm.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42396

55. Yeah bitch.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42488

56. Whoo!

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42492

57. Everybody, can I please have your attention? Ryan and I have a huge announcement.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42528

58. Over the weekend, Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42531

59. The last thing that we want is any kind of drama.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42535

60. We were having a beautiful weekend in the Poconos. We were making love, constantly. We saw the sunrise. Ryan was crying a lot.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42537

61. And in the morning we walked by a chapel and we stopped, suddenly, and Ryan said...

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42539

62. Ummm, like a week ago, we got really wasted and it just felt right.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42543

63. God baby, you know, people's reactions to this... maybe we made a mistake.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42546

64. Ryan, I changed my mind.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42550

65. And who is on my side?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42552

66. Flowers, diamonds, three-course meal, violinist comes to my table to serenade me...

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43186

67. Yeah Michael the movie is amazing!

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Quote 43220

68. What are you referencing?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43359

69. Don't do it Kevin, that's the fake kind of apology.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43506

70. This is textbook. It's so uncool. Ryan does this to me all the time. Like it's some offense to have feelings. Don't do it Kevin.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43508

71. Are you serious? A half used candle? Get out of here Dwight. You're blocking my table with your giant body.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43622

72. Screw you man. People like my stuff.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43624

73. You can take my Helen Fielding collection.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43626

74. I'll get that you guys. Don't... it's just... you know...

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43931

75. Oh, hi!

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43933

76. Have we met before?

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43935

77. Well, I guess I'll go back to my cave. It was really great meeting you.

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43937

78. And that is what you call a meet cute.

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43939

79. What?!

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44537

80. Yes! Please! Please go away! And stop using that weird slow voice.

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44539

81. I think we should do cupcakes. I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44558

82. What?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44759

83. Why should I pretend that you are my boss?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44761

84. Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. Ryan, you just like to lie.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44763

85. You really would?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44765

86. Sure thing, Mr. Howard.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44767

87. Mom, Ryan's taking us out to dinner tonight. No, no, he's not going to stand us up like he did last time. He won't ever stand us up again.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44849

88. When Deangelo's around.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44851

89. All the time.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44853

90. Lame? You worked at Anthropology?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44866

91. That's like my dream job. How did you even get that job?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44868

92. You chose this job over that job?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44870

93. I'm sorry, Mr. Howard, I apologize for grubbing for money. I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. Deangelo, Ryan is not my boss. Okay? Frankly, he hasn't had a real job here in years.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44904

94. No, he's just a big fraud, Deangelo. He's like Rango. He doesn't work here, basically. Just like the way Rango didn't save those animals. It was just a big misunderstanding.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44907

95. He's not saying anything!

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44911

96. That's not fair, I mean, I've been working here for such a long ti--

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44913

97. Oh my God, what is wrong with you?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 44998

98. It's none of your business, actually. It's very medical and personal.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45000

99. Dwight went on a shooting spree, and then he shot Andy in the head.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45083

100. Dwight, I would like tomorrow off so that I can go on my American Idol audition.

     Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45125