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Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office (page 9)

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956 quotes · page 9 of 10

  1. Okay. I guess I can just not go. Do you guys wanna hear my solo?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45127

  2. Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45129

  3. Yeah, I actually know about nice rings and it is gorgeous.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45349

  4. Well, I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now. And, god, I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45389

  5. Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45391

  6. What was that?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45393

  7. Am I not a serious candidate?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45395

  8. I don't have any, assh***.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45397

  9. Excuse me, Ms. Bennett, may I have a word?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45521

  10. Uh,... can it be in private? Don't worry, it's not about you. As Minority Executive, I think it's my responsibility to let you know that Gabe is gross. I don't think it's professional that he was sleeping with the receptionist, and then when Erin dumped him, so that she could be with Andy, he became a total crazy stalker psycho.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45523

  11. Very, very interesting. And you know what? I'm impressed.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45619

  12. I don't know, Jim, 'cause, makes me think about something my grandfather used to say, which is that, sometimes, the hand that jumps out of the grave and grabs you around the throat; that is the hand that you want on the wheel.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45621

  13. Yeah, it was a great deal.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45623

  14. I don't know. Dwight seems like a great leader to me, and I look forward to the personal perks that he promised me privately. What do you think, Toby?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45625

  15. That is correct. Actually, Dwight is not the manager yet.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45632

  16. I'm sorry, is that all you think of me? A minority? I am so much more than that. I am a dancer, I'm a singer, I'm a fashion designer.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45653

  17. You are not leaving without giving me a hug. Ughh.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45670

  18. I'm sorry! You were just a lot bonier than I thought you were gonna be!

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45672

  19. I don't care. They can just vote.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45695

  20. (planking on top of cabinet] Very smart.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45724

  21. I can't get down.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45726

  22. How is this a pizza party?

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45864

  23. Yeah, well, that's just pizza. You need at least one other element for it to be a party.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45866

  24. Oh. Hey guys! We had so much fun. We had Margarita pizza. We all hung out. Got to know each other better. How was your lunch?

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45895

  25. Everybody hates those endings!

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45943

  26. Why is it all kid stuff and a vibrator? It's so gross.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46172

  27. This point system is really insulting.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46176

  28. That's a tablecloth.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46178

  29. No! I mean, let him, he should just explore other options...

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46283

  30. Bowties, no offense, are a black thing. They're for rappers and NBA players. I cringe when I see Tucker Carlson trying to pull off a bowtie. It's like yeah Tucker, you're so street.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46284

  31. So what, Andy, you wanna just let him die, you scumbag?

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46319

  32. Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46325

  33. That'll work.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46344

  34. Bye.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46347

  35. Oh, god.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46369

  36. I think I would keep working. And for my salary I guess I would take like a dollar a year....I mean obviously I wouldn't come in till noon and I wouldn't do anything I didn't wanna do. I mean I'm getting paid a dollar a year, OK? You can chill.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46377

  37. I don't get the reason for this party.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46653

  38. What's the reason, Andy? What's the reason?

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46655

  39. I am so cold.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46818

  40. This is ridiculous! Why can't there just be two Kate Middleton's?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46905

  41. Look, I stayed up all night and I watched that gd wedding, and then I came to work and I made everyone else watch it all day. Meredith wasn't even here.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46907

  42. Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46924

  43. What are you, some kind of Jamaican zombie woman?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46926

  44. Well, Toby and I did, yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46978

  45. 1, 2, 3!

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46981

  46. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46984

  47. Fine.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46986

  48. Mmhmm.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46989

  49. I guess.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46991

  50. I try not to think about it.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46993

  51. Never marrying.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46995

  52. What emails are you talking about?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47266

  53. That's not that bad actually.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47268

  54. Um, no we're not and you are a psycho who is ruining our lives.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47274

  55. Wha'what's Dwight's mothers name.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47321

  56. Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut down the machine!!! Shut it down! Shut it down!

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47362

  57. Well, you came to the right person. You have to follow your intuition, Pam. You don't want to end up like Elin Nordegren. Actually, what am I saying, you wish you had her life- no offense, Pam.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47664

  58. It is called the matchmaker test, and it is very powerful. Basically we have Pam ask Jim which of his friends he would set up with Cathy. If Jim picks a really hot friend, then we know that he thinks that Cathy's hot.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47666

  59. Eww!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47696

  60. I mean, I guess he'd be okay with hair. Okay, you should see if he'll get hair plugs.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47698

  61. Yeah, but I do Pam, okay? It's called being a nice person.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47700

  62. I'm gonna write something mean on his wall.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47709

  63. Oh my God, kill me!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47831

  64. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47846

  65. Pitiful.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47848

  66. Andy took some of the other people on a corporate retreat to Gettysburg.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47907

  67. Isn't Gettysburg like three hours away?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48073

  68. I have these new sneakers which are basically like a gym for your feet.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48228

  69. I just want you to know that I will be mean to Jessica if you want me to be.

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48437

  70. It's really no problem. I was already planning on being mean to her.

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48439

  71. Eww, what is that?

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48442

  72. Cool.

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48444

  73. Do you think that's what happened? Do you think he used a severed hand?

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48567

  74. Well help me, OK? Just, uh take...

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48652

  75. Yo.

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48655

  76. On it.

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48657

  77. Jessica, did you just fart?

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48659

  78. And that, is how it's done.

    Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48660

  79. No, it's Lamar Odom. If it'd been Ron Artest, it would have come up in Dancing with the Stars, when they pan over his trophy case when he's at home with his family. Lamar winning Sixth Man was a big storyline on Chloe and Lamar.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48896

  80. What!

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48939

  81. Cause it's like, really...

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49000

  82. Having fun.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49009

  83. Tu Bishvat!

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49013

  84. Hey, is it true that you're not allowed to spend time with your girlfriend during the month of Tu Bishvat?

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49017

  85. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Ryan lies to me and says he has a whole Jewish holiday for an entire month.....

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 49019

  86. Whoa, you guys, I just found this insane engagement ring. Is anyone missing this?

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49172

  87. I don't know. It looks pretty great to me.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49174

  88. Yeah, thanks. I'm really glad I found it.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49220

  89. Shh. Of course I'm superstitious. What are you talking about?

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49222

  90. Oh God.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49225

  91. You've broken up your last couple, you evil ring. Do it.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49258

  92. Cece, this is your big sister Kelly. Did you color this pretty picture?

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49604

  93. So then this means nothing to you.

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49606

  94. Damn girl! Your body!

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49733

  95. You wanna call someone? That texted you!? Do you wanna drive them away? I mean, ugh.

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49826

  96. Why?

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49837

  97. Hell yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49839

  98. Important? Oh because you and your enormous monster baby are so important to the branch.

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49857

  99. For you maybe.

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49875

  100. I don't know how I'm going to live here without you.

    Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49998