Darryl Philbin Quotes from The Office (page 4)

Warehouse foreman turned corporate.

1,281 quotes · page 4 of 13

1. I'm driving them up for five times what I would've made at work. I thought I made a good deal. Then I realized I'm gonna be trapped in a truck with Mike all day.

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2. Hey, y'all are not gonna be playing these little private games all the way.

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3. It's like Driving Miss Daisy, you know?

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4. You gotta include me in the conversation.

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5. If you don't mind.

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6. I got a game. Cow surfing.

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7. Spot a cow, last person to say 'Jackson Five' has to get on its back and ride it.

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8. Everybody got a government cow.

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9. Here we go. Go get him, Mike!

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10. Then why did you say 'Jackson Five?'

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11. All right, I made it up.

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12. Because I wanted you to like me.

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13. Okay.

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14. [makes sudden sharp turn to the left, causing DVD player to fall out open window, then grins to camera]

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15. [rubs face in exasperation]

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16. Go.

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17. At least it's quiet.

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18. Hey, you know what would be fun? Like, sleeping.

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19. You know.

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20. There you go.

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21. Oh, thanks. Thanks. No.

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22. Thank you. Thank you. No.

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23. Hey, y'all wanna hear some loud music or something?

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24. Hey, look, Pennsylvania license plate! That's crazy! All the way out here! Who can name all the states?

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25. Here we go.

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26. Stairs. Oh, man....

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27. I was there. That dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay.

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28. Yo.

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29. Thanks man.

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30. All right man, don't cry. It's cool. I'll let you get it for $400.

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31. You can owe me.

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32. I know, right. Merry Christmas.

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33. Something wrong with the doll?

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34. Mike claims, we're all a family isn't that right?

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35. Ok, so um, what's his name? All the way in the back there.

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36. What's his name?

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37. Roy left years ago. What's his name?

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38. What's

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39. Nope. His name is Michael.

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40. Start over.

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41. Were the boxes near each other?

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42. I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. They use a lot of paper.

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43. What'd I tell you about building forts in my warehouse?

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44. I was rushing to fill an order. I put the ladder up to grab a box of three hole from the top shelf. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground and the ladder's on top of me.

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45. Yes.

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46. This doesn't concern you man, you need to walk away.

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47. If we were living in Sweden, I wouldn't have to worry about this 'cause we'd have universal healthcare.

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48. Be quiet.

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49. Thanks T-Man, later. [fist bumps Toby}

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50. Toby! Dwight! Is that them?

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51. You come to my house, bust up my trash cans, call my baby sister an ass****, and told her to eat dog food.

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52. Why would you think a lady is me?

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53. Here's what I'm gonna do, I'm calling corporate and I'm filing a complaint against both of you.

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54. C'mon Gwenneth.

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55. Cool.

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56. Stupidest thing I've ever heard.

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57. Alright, yeah fine so whatever...

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58. And I'm telling them you guys sexually harassed my sister.

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59. This is the spookiest warehouse in the world, kids. You don't believe me? Just take a look. Oh. Scary, huh? This is a surgery with an octopus and a burn victim.

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60. Nobody told me what people were, alright? So... label yourselves or take what you get.

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61. Here is an old man and a goth dude... and then the old crone from Drag Me to Hell.

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62. I asked for a list. ...and a clown.

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63. You're not as scary as Book Face, over there.

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64. Ok, kids. You've all been so good and unbelievably patient so I think you are gonna get some candy!

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65. What the hell is wrong with you?

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66. Hey.

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67. Uh, Matt is on a delivery. Just leave it here, I'll take it.

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68. Matt's a pretty good-looking dude, don't you think?

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69. The Sabre shipping method could be more efficient. Combining inventory systems makes sense on paper, but printers and paper ship differently. It'll be faster to deliver them separately, instead of waiting on everything to come in.

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70. Not at all. There's a way that it can be scheduled. I sketched this out downstairs.

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71. Are you serious?

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72. Absolutely.

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73. Thank you.

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74. Moving on up, to the East Side, to the deluxe apartment in the sky...

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75. Not bad, huh?

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76. I impressed her with my good ideas.

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77. I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there.

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78. Now Mike, I have to ask you to leave, so that I can learn about this tiny television.

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79. Hey! What are you fellas doing up here?

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80. I wish, but uh-

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81. Oh. Yeah, um, I must have did that when I was in the bathroom. All right then, uh, let me get to it.

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82. There's other pencil's in this office.

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83. Michael.

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84. I know who did that.

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85. Didn't have to see. It was sales. I can feel it. They are out of control.

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86. Yes. All of 'em. Together. It's a conspiracy. Listen to me, Mike, you gotta do something about them.

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87. You need to get back on top.

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88. Yeah.

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89. That sounds fun, mucking around in the dump. Wish I could go.

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90. I can't. You know that.

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91. Hey, what's up?

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92. Thanks, it's cool. So...

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93. Has that ever happened? Ever?

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94. You want me to invite Matt?

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95. Look, just be straight with me, man. You can be gay with Matt, just be straight with me.

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96. Happy hour. My pleasure.

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97. So, the guy shows me the deck he's built. And I'm like, 'I'll call this a deck if it'll make you happy, but this is just a porch without a roof.' It was ridiculous man, it was like-you could maybe get two chairs on the thing. Two lawn chairs.

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98. Hey, man, you put together a pretty fun night for everybody. I saw you talking to Hide. Did you hear that dude's life story? It's amazing, right?

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99. Let me tell you something, Oscar. All right, Matt's an okay dude, but he's a dummy. You guys got nothing in common.

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100. Tell 'em your story, Hide.

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