Darryl Philbin Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Warehouse foreman turned corporate.

1,281 quotes · page 2 of 13

1. All right, what's up Mike?

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2. Yup.

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3. Uh huh.

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4. Yup.

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5. Mike, I'm very busy down here.

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6. Oh, yes! Yes! What'd I tell you? I knew he'd turn up You see that? This is the greatest night of my life.

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7. You ready for me?

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8. Cool.

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9. Okay.

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10. Okay, I'll start. It's pretty simple really. I uh, I think I deserve a raise. I'm scheduled to get one in six months, but I'd like that to be moved up to now.

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11. Are you wearin' lady clothes?

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12. Are you wearin' lady clothes? Those look like lady... pants.

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13. That there's a woman's suit.

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14. I'ma call Roy, man.

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15. This is gonna make him feel better.

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16. This is too good.

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17. Yeah, he look like Hillary Clinton.

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18. Okay, can you just stand right there? I gotta send some e-mails.

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19. Well, it's simple Mike. I mean we merged these two branches right? So now we're shipping twice as many orders as we used to. With Roy gone we got a smaller crew. And I'm pickin' up all of his slack, so I think I should be compensated fairly, by gettin' a raise.

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20. What? I can't hear you.

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21. I can't--- what, Mike? Are you---

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22. Why can't I just... tell you?

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23. There you go.

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24. I am serious, Mike. That's a 10% raise. That's what I want.

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25. Come on, be for real Mike.

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26. Are you serious? You're earning this?

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27. Mike, this is barely more than I make. You been here ten years, dog.

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28. Ho-ho!

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29. Oh, I'm sorry Mike, some of my folks got to hear about this one. Ah.

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30. Fourteen years. Fourteen. I know. Ok, alright. I gotta go. Later.

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31. What?

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32. That's 'cause of you, Mike. They're not gonna give the workin' man more than the boss.

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33. Get your own raise. You gotta get out there and earn, son.

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34. Well, when they merged the two branches together, they put

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35. Yeah that's true. You gotta call your girl, and get paid. Show her who wears the pants in the relationship.

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36. Yeah, you should.

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37. Fourteen years long.

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38. Make it happen, cap'in.

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39. Comfortable, Mike?

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40. How about you, man. Comfortable?

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41. Thank you.

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42. I haven't been to New York in a long time.

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43. Maybe I'll stay overnight. Got a cousin lives down there.

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44. Oh you could stay too. He's got a big place.

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45. Mm, it's not that big.

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46. Busses, though. They get you home quick.

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47. Okay, bring it home now. And don't forget the new black man phrase I taught you.

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48. Yes sir. Remember that. I'll be right outside if you need me

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49. Yeah, I taught Mike some new phrases. I want him to get the raise, I... just can't help myself.

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50. Now, this is the forklift. You need--- You need a license to operate this machine. That means the upstairs office workers

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51. Should you drive the forklift?

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52. No! No no no no no! I said

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53. It's not safe, you don't have a license.

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54. Her. Yes, 'her' is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not. Okay?

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55. Do you understand that?

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56. We do safety training every year, or after an accident. ... We've never made it a full year. This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...

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57. And I fell and busted my ankle. I'm legitimately scared for my workers.

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58. The baler can flatten a car engine. It can cut off your arm and crush your entire body without skipping a beat.

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59. How many people a year do you think get their arms cut off in a baler?

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60. Anybody wanna take a guess? Anybody?

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61. Anybody?

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62. Ten people, Michael. Ten people. Would you like to be one of them?

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63. You have to be alert, and calm. And always careful...

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64. These are very dangerous machines down here, and the upstairs workers,

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65. It would be the worst thing in the world! It would! Very much so.

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66. It's not a trash compactor! It's a baler!

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67. No do not touch it!

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68. There is no occasion for you to go near this stuff, okay?

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69. Take them at the same time.

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70. Thank God we only had a baler to deal with.

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71. Actually, you did.

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72. Alright, we outta here.

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73. That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mike. It's serious down there. We do dangerous stuff, man. This is shenanigans, foolishness, Nerf-ball. You live a sweet, little, Nerf-y life. Sittin' on your biscuit. Never havin' to risk it.

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74. Mike, this is the opposite of safety. You jump, you're gonna serious hurt yourself.

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75. Yeah, but I never said you had nothing to live for.

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76. A lot... of things. Uh, you, uh... What about Jan? Lovely, lovely, lovely Jan, man. It's goin' good, right?

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77. Mike, you're a very brave man. I mean, it takes courage just to

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78. I couldn't do it. I--- I ain't that strong. And I ain't that brave.

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79. Way

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80. Come down, okay?

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81. Summing up.

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82. You own a convertible. Come on man that's, that's hot. Women love that stuff right?

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83. Presbyterian.

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84. Oh?

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85. Alright!

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86. I'm giving him a peanut.

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87. Look how happy he is.

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88. What's up man?

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89. Make a delivery.

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90. Kelly ordered this online.

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91. Who knows?

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92. Hey! How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapoor over five hundred sheets of paper you get back to your desk. Start sellin' multiple reams like a man.

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93. Who's it?

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94. Here you go.

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95. So you still missing Ryan?

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96. Mmmmm.

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97. There's information here? Yeah, you're right, I don't need this.

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98. Hey, get off.

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99. I have plans later.

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100. I have my daughter tonight; we're renting Charlotte's Web.

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