Every line from The Office season 6, episode 16, in script order. First aired March 4, 2010.
-
Michael
Where is my little nibblet? Halpert, room D1. Alright, family only beyond this point, thank you. Here we go.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35696
-
Jim
Doing great, push again.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35697
-
Doctor
Not yet.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35698
-
Jim
No, don't push. Pull. Pull.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35699
-
Nurse
Why don't you get more ice chips?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35700
-
Pam
No, Jim, stay!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35701
-
Doctor
Okay. Really push this time, Pam.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35702
-
Pam
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35703
-
Michael
Okay, not yet, not yet. I'm going to go wash my eyes.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35704
-
Michael
That kid's going to have a lot of hair.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35705
-
Andy
Hey, have you guys seen her?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35706
-
Meredith
She hasn't popped yet.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35707
-
Andy
What? God damn it. She was supposed to come out yesterday.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35708
-
Andy
I decided to give baby Halpert a newspaper from the day she was born. This frame set me back fifty five bones. But she decided to take her sweet time, so now I have to switch it with today's paper.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35709
-
Phyllis
This is ridiculous. We just can't wait here.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35710
-
Michael
I think it's going to be any minute now.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35711
-
Phyllis
But you don't know that. I mean, we could be here another half an hour.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35712
-
Michael
Phyllis, what could you possibly have to do?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35713
-
Phyllis
I have an ice cream cake in the car.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35714
-
Michael
Oh, my God. Go, go, go! Are you insane? Alright.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35715
-
Michael
Guys? Hello? Um, sorry to be a bother, but if we could have an ETA when this is gonna...
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35716
-
Pam
This is happening!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35717
-
Michael
You're starting, you're kinda losing them.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35718
-
Jim
Oh, my God! Look at her! baby, she's so beautiful! Oh, my God.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35719
-
Pam
Oh, my God.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35720
-
Michael
Yeah, that's right. It's a baby, see?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35721
-
Doctor
Sir! Sir, you can't smoke that in here. Put it, put it out.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35722
-
Michael
Okay. You can't smoke anywhere these days.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35723
-
Pam
She's incredible. Want to count her fingers and toes again?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35724
-
Jim
No, let's let her rest. I'm sure there's still twelve on each.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35725
-
Pam
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35726
-
Michael
Guys, guys!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35727
-
Jim
Her name is Cecelia Marie Halpert.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35728
-
Michael
Eleven pounds...
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35729
-
Jim
She's seven pounds, two ounces, eighteen inches. Mother and daughter are doing great.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35730
-
Everyone
Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35731
-
Michael
Thank you! Thank you!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35732
-
Oscar
Congratulations. That's great.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35733
-
(Pam's mom) Heleen
Hi there.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35734
-
Jim
Hey, grandma's back.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35735
-
Helene
Well, it was an adventure and a half trying to find the cafeteria, but I have returned with the coffee.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35736
-
Jim
Great.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35737
-
Pam
Oh, thank God. I haven't had caffeine in nine months.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35738
-
Helene
Ooh, somebody has a full diaper.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35739
-
Jim
Oh. Let me get it.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35740
-
Jim
I am a diapering master. I have done little else in the past two months. There is nothing I cannot diaper. Go ahead. Try to think of something. I dare you.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35741
-
Michael
Where's the baby? I want to see the baby. Oh! Oh, Helene, hi. Oh, my goodness, what are the odds of this? Congratulations on being a grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35742
-
Helene
Hello, Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35743
-
Michael
Hello. Oh, good for you. I worry about you.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35744
-
Helene
I'm, uh... You know I think, uh, I think it's time for me to go.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35745
-
Pam
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35746
-
Helene
Love you.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35747
-
Michael
Love you, as a friend.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35748
-
Pam
Love you, mom.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35749
-
Michael
Ooh, I want to hold the baby!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35750
-
Pam
Okay, you just have to use the hand sanitizer first.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35751
-
Michael
Alright.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35752
-
Pam
Again, no pants.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35753
-
Michael
Oh, okay.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35754
-
Jim
Ready?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35755
-
Michael
Mm-hmm. Oh. Ooh, wow. Michael. Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35756
-
Jim
It's so weird, she was saying it just before you got here.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35757
-
Dwight
Yesterday, I was dispatched to Jim and Pam's house to find Pam's iPod. I searched everywhere, but I didn't find it. What I did find, was mold, and lots of it. So, I did what anyone would do. Read a book, had a bath, I got a good night's sleep, and I made plans to eradicate it. I also made plans to ask Jim where he bought his marvelous sheets... Time to get to work.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35758
-
Michael
There she sat. Her name was Pam. She was a receptionist. She was engaged to an animal. There sat Jim. He was a gawky, tall salesman. The odds of them getting together were insur-mountain-able. I made a family! I got these two together, and I made a family.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35759
-
Andy
This man has a gift!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35760
-
Michael
Who else here is single?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35761
-
Kelly
I'm not single. I have a man.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35762
-
Michael
I am offering up my services to you all. You saw what I did with Pam and Jim. I can help you, too.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35763
-
Stanley
Why do you find someone for yourself instead of meddling in our affairs?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35764
-
Michael
Okay, show of hands. Who wants to live in a world where Stanley has two lovers and you don't have any? Who else? Come on! People, I know models!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35765
-
Ryan
Ha ha, plus size models, maybe.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35766
-
Michael
Ha ha, you got that right! Meredith? Come on, you're obviously single.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35767
-
Meredith
You know it. I am never getting married.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35768
-
Meredith
Like Clooney.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35769
-
Michael
Andrew, what about you?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35770
-
Andy
Torn scrotum. Still on the mend, so not good timing.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35771
-
Andy
Yes, I'm going to ask out Erin. I'm just waiting for the stars to align. Literally. I have a small skylight in my bedroom, and I'd like for the moon to be visible.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35772
-
Michael
Well, when you least expect it, expect it. I am going to fill the empty voids in your life with love. I am going to fill that empty hole in your body with another person. And, like Cupid, I am going to shoot you with love.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35773
-
Pam
Remember yesterday when we were terrified of being parents?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35774
-
Jim
We were just kids. What did we know?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35775
-
Nurse
How we doing?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35776
-
Jim
Great.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35777
-
Pam
Good.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35778
-
Nurse
Would you like me to take her to the nursery for the night?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35779
-
Pam
Doesn't she sleep here?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35780
-
Nurse
She can. But a lot of parents choose to have the baby spend the first night in the nursery to get some rest. You've been through a lot.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35781
-
Jim
I think we'll be okay.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35782
-
Nurse
Okay, great.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35783
-
Pam
Oh, big yawn.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35784
-
Jim
Ready? One, two, three...
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35785
-
Pam
One, and then wrap around. It's okay. Hold that arm down.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35786
-
Jim
I can't. She's too strong. She's, careful, though. You don't want to break it.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35787
-
Pam
She's not gonna... Just...
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35788
-
Jim
I got it. Alright.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35789
-
Pam
Go.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35790
-
Jim
Nurse!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35791
-
Jim
How you doing?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35792
-
Pam
I don't know. I just, I can't tell if she's getting anything.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35793
-
Jim
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35794
-
Pam
Doesn't feel right.
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35795