Every line from The Office season 4, episode 2, in script order. First aired October 4, 2007.
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Toby
I wouldn't want to do that now would I?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17832
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Michael
Smell that. Do you smell that?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17833
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Dwight
Dry rot?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17834
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Michael
No, Dwight. That smells like good business to me. What I have done here is I have collected all the finest gourmet items that Scranton has to offer.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17835
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Andy
Mmhmm, sweet, chocolate turtles.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17836
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Michael
Yes, no! No, those are for our clients. Actually, our exclients. I'll explain, later.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17837
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Michael
Ryan wants everything in our company to be about emails and IM's, but I think he's forgetting about the original instant message. Letters attatched to baskets of food.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17838
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Dwight
Excuse me, Angela. Michael asked me to turn in these reciepts for these gift basket items.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17839
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Angela
Thank you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17840
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Dwight
You're welcome.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17841
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Angela
Is that all?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17842
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Dwight
Yes... I miss you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17843
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Angela
Elevators.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17844
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Angela
Dwight, you have to listen to me! We are not seeing each other anymore! Can you accept that?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17845
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Dwight
Fine. Then I just want to be friends.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17846
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Angela
Good.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17847
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Dwight
Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17848
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Angela
[walks away]
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17849
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Kelly
I don't understand what the big deal is.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17850
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Ryan
You don't?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17851
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Kelly
No!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17852
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Ryan
You lied about being pregnant.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17853
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Kelly
Right, so?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17854
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Ryan
You really don't understand why that might make me kind of angry?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17855
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Kelly
No!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17856
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Ryan
We're never getting back together.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17857
-
Kelly
Why not?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17858
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Jim
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17859
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Pam
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17860
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Jim
Alright I just have to ask now that we're public, um, is the magic gone?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17861
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Pam
It's funny you bring that up because yes it is.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17862
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Jim
I knew it. Oh man, just like that huh?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17863
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Pam
I think... I mean, I don't know what it is but...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17864
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Jim
Be honest.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17865
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Pam
I now find you repulsive.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17866
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Jim
That's honest. Alright, fair enough. It was really fun while it lasted though, wasn't it?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17867
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Pam
Eh...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17868
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Jim
For me, it was.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17869
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Pam
OK.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17870
-
Jim
Alright.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17871
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Michael
Hey boss, I didn't know you were coming in today.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17872
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Ryan
What's, uh, going on here?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17873
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Michael
I am glad that you asked, listen up everybody. In the last year, we have lost seven clients to the big chains. These gift baskets are our ticket back into their lives. We are going to show up at these businesses unannounced, and we are going to win them back.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17874
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Ryan
With gift baskets.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17875
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Michael
With peanut brittle, with macadamia nut cookies, with chocolate turtles, with raspberry jam and a little bit of fat and salt because you know what? That's what people like.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17876
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Michael
Ever since I was a kid people have been telling me I can't do things. 'You can't be on the team', 'You can't move on to second grade'. Well, now they're telling me that I can't win back clients using old fashioned business methods. We'll see about that. And FYI, I eventually aced second grade, and I was the biggest kid in class.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17877
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Michael
OK. We're gonna split up into teams. Jim, Phyllis. Stanley, Dwight. Me Andy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17878
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Stanley
I'm not driving with him.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17879
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Andy
I'll go with you Stanley.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17880
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Stanley
Or him.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17881
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Jim
Why don't we just go by ourselves?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17882
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Michael
Why don't we just go as teams to demonstrate our teamsmanship?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17883
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Phyllis
Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17884
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Michael
Yes?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17885
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Phyllis
This is stupid.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17886
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Michael
OK, that's not helpful Phyllis.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17887
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Phyllis
How is giving people gift baskets going to get our clients back?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17888
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Michael
Gift baskets are amazing, Phyllis. Gift baskets are... the essence of class and fanciness. They are the ultimate present that a person can recieve.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17889
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Andy
What about cash? With cash you can buy anything you want, including a gift basket, so... it's kind of the best gift ever.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17890
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Jim
What about a gift basket full of cash?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17891
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Andy
Yes! Cash basket! Nice work Tuna.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17892
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Michael
Fine, I'm just going to go by myself, and I am going to win them back by myself because this is important to me.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17893
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Dwight
Michael, wait. Let me go.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17894
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Michael
No, this is my quest.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17895
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Dwight
Please, let me go. I need to win those clients back. Please.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17896
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Michael
Fine. Then God speed. To both of us.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17897
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Ryan
Good luck Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17898
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Michael
We don't need luck.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17899
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17900
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Michael
But thank you, that was really nice of you to say.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17901
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Dwight
Thank you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17902
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Michael
Business to business. The old fasioned way. No Blackberrys, no websites. I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17903
-
Ryan
Yes, I understand that David. I just felt that if we were to downsize Kelly and then outsource customer service to India which a lot of companies... Yeah, no, yes Kelly is Indian... I understand that's confusing.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17904
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Creed
Hey brah, I've been meaning to ask you, can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy's gotta ride the bull, am I right? Later skater.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17905
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Dwight
Sweet ride, American made. What happened to the Sebring?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17906
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Michael
It is in the body shop. Had to have the dent taken out of the hood where I hit Meredith.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17907
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Dwight
Ah, that's a pain in the ass.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17908
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Michael
I know. So who's next?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17909
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Dwight
Larry Myers. Left us six months ago for Office Depot.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17910
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GPS
Proceed to the highlighted route, then route guidence will begin.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17911
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Dwight
Why do you use that thing? Let's them know where you are at all times.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17912
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Michael
Who?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17913
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Dwight
The government, spy satellites, private detectives... exgirlfriends.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17914
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Ryan
Next night, I'm out, at a bar, 2 AM, I figure I'll get a sandwich because you can get a sandwich any time of the night. I run into Vince Vaughn.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17915
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Kevin
No way!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17916
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Ryan
Literally.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17917
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Andy
Dude, you are so money, but you don't even know it, but you do.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17918
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Ryan
... Later guys.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17919
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Kevin
Yeah, later dude.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17920
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Andy
Later man.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17921
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Kevin
Oh, Jim! How awesome is Ryan now?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17922
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Jim
Yeah, he's definitely something.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17923
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Kevin
What does that mean?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17924
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Jim
That whole lifestyle, his whole vibe, you find that appealing?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17925
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Andy
Ha! Tuna... Tuna Tuna Tuna.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17926
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Kevin
Tuna Tuna Tuna.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17927
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Andy
He has a killer job, he's rich, he smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan probably smells like, he wears really cool rich guy clothes.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17928
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Kevin
And he can get any girl that he wants.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17929
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Andy
So, sorry Tuna but if you don't know why that's awesome... then... you need awesome lessons.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17930
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Kevin
Tuna. Check you later.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17931