Every line from The Office season 4, episode 2, in script order. First aired October 4, 2007.
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Michael
That's a little kinky. I don't swing that way.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17632
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Ryan
OK...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17633
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Michael
Woooo!I think Ryan has a gay crush on me.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17634
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Ryan
Enough! OK? This is inappropriate and it stops right now. Do you understand?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17635
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Michael
Yes, everybody, come on. Settle town. Let's get serious here. Um Ryan, has a very special, important presentation to do, which we will be doing in the conference room in 10 minutes?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17636
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Ryan
Perfect.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17637
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Michael
Sounds good. OK, alright.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17638
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Michael
Yeah, Ryan snapped at me, but there was this twinkle in his eye that I picked up on, which said, 'Dude, we're friends. I'm doing this for appearances. I am the big boss now. And I have to seem like an ogre. But you know me and you trust me. And we like each other. And we'll always be friends. And I would never take you for granted in a million years. And I miss you, man. And I love you.' His words.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17639
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Ryan
Dunder Mifflin Infinity represents a floor to ceiling streamlining of our business model. The center piece of the campaign is a new business-to-business website interface that will allow us to compete directly with big box chains.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17640
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Jim
Wait a second. Last time I checked, Dunder Mifflin already has a website. And quite frankly, I'm not really sure what's wrong with it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17641
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Ryan
This is a massive overhaul. We're getting younger. Sleeker. And more agile so that we adapt to the market place. All essential personnel will be issued Blackberries for company use.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17642
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Michael
OOhh. Gimmme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17643
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Ryan
I'll stick around to help you set them up afterwards. Any questions? Dwight?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17644
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Dwight
What if we don't want to use a Blackberry because they are stupid and pointless?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17645
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Ryan
This is company-wide, Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17646
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Dwight
Got it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17647
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Ryan
Andy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17648
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Andy
We should call it Dunder Mifflinfinity. You know, push the words together?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17649
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Ryan
Any other questions? Kelly Kapoor.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17650
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Kelly
Can we speak privately about our relationship?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17651
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Ryan
Thank you everybody.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17652
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Michael
Ryan Howard everybody. Good job.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17653
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Creed
That's some fun stuff. When does the website go up?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17654
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Ryan
As fast as possible. We want to start retraining people A.S.A.P., so we can hit the ground running with a new system.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17655
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Creed
Cool beans.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17656
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Creed
We're screwed.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17657
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Michael
Who is?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17658
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Creed
Us? You and me. The old timers.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17659
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Michael
I am not old. You are old. You are like a hundred.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17660
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Creed
You're over 40, that's the cut off. Are you listening to what he's saying? Re-training. New system. Youth. I'm telling you this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17661
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Jim
Swore I wouldn't tell anyone this, but in the interest of revealing secrets. Oh my God, this will make your brain explode. Umm, Dwight and Angela dating. Have been for six months.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17662
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Pam
No..
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17663
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Jim
Swear to God.. Aww this is great. I was actually gonna wait and tell you on your birthday, but this is much more fun.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17664
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Pam
No, they have been dating for like two years. Since before your barbeque.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17665
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Jim
Wait. What? You knew? And you didn't say anything?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17666
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Pam
You didn't say anything to me?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17667
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Jim
Fair enough. Wow! We should have started dating like a long time ago.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17668
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Pam
Can you believe that...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17669
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Phyllis
Sorry, I didn't know you guys were in here.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17670
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Jim
Oh no, we're just sitting here.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17671
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Phyllis
I couldn't see your hands. Hey Pam, by the way, it's great that you're dating. But when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a sales person. You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week, OK?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17672
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Pam
OK.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17673
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Phyllis
OK.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17674
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Jim
OK.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17675
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Jim
And... that is why we waited so long to tell people.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17676
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Ryan
OK, what's up?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17677
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Michael
Yeah, kay. I was just... After the presentation, just wanted to make sure, that vis-a-vie, that everything in the office is business as usual?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17678
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Ryan
Well it is business, but not as usual.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17679
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Michael
Yeah, I know I understand... we're making great strides and we're updating, but business as usual, no?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17680
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Ryan
No. We're throwing out the entire playbook, we're starting from scratch, we're implementing a brand new system.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17681
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Michael
Good, so, we're on the same page?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17682
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Ryan
No. We're not. Michael, I know exactly how much time and man power are wasted in this branch. This company is getting younger, faster, more efficient. You need to prepare yourself.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17683
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Michael
We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young. And we called him my brother. And that's who I thought he was. Um, then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, taking all of my blue jeans with him. And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17684
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Ryan
So, how are you?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17685
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Kelly
Awesome. I am dating a lot of guys.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17686
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Ryan
Good.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17687
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Kelly
A lot. Black guys mostly.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17688
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Ryan
Kelly...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17689
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Kelly
What?!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17690
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Phyllis
Wait, uh, how do you touch just one of these buttons at a time?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17691
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Stanley
I don't know.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17692
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Phyllis
Did you even try?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17693
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Stanley
If the kid wants to set mine up, I'll let him.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17694
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Phyllis
I can't see half of the things.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17695
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Stanley
It's too little. Use the phone.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17696
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Kelly
I want you to tell me that you care about me. That is what I want.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17697
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Ryan
Kelly, I'm your boss now, OK? You can't keep talking to me like I'm your boyfriend.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17698
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Kelly
Oh big strong man, fancy new whatever. I don't think you ever cared about me.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17699
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Ryan
I never cared about you? Six months ago Karen Filipelli sent me an email. Asked me out. I said no, because I was committed to our relationship.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17700
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Kelly
Well, I hope you're still committed because I'm pregnant.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17701
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Kelly
[shaking head]
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17702
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Kelly
And guess what buddy, I am keeping it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17703
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Ryan
OK. OK.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17704
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Kelly
Do you feel prepared to help me raise a baby?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17705
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Ryan
I can... I can't talk about this right now, OK? After work, we'll go out to dinner, we'll talk about it then, OK?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17706
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Kelly
We have a date!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17707
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Dwight
Hello.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17708
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Angela
Hello, Dwight. I've been thinking about things and I wanted to know if you would have dinner with me tonight?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17709
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Dwight
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17710
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Angela
Yes.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17711
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Dwight
I'll make a reservation. No, no. Let me cook for you. Cauliflower and noodles. Baked potato on the side.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17712
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Angela
I would prefer a public place. See you after work.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17713
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Jan
Hi, Pam.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17714
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Pam
Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17715
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Jan
Is Michael in?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17716
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Pam
In his office. You can go right in.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17717
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Jan
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17718
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Ryan
Jan.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17719
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Jan
Ryan. Ryan. Ryan, Ryan.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17720
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Ryan
So elephant in the room, I have your old job.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17721
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Jan
Well, not exactly my job... I had a different title.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17722
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Ryan
Oh well, excuse me, same office, same responsibilities.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17723
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Jan
Different salary. You'll get there, don't worry.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17724
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Ryan
Well... you look great.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17725
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Jan
Thank you, thank you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17726
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Ryan
Scranton suits you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17727
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Jan
Best decision I ever made.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17728
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Ryan
You were let go.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17729
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Jan
You know what? I love the beard. Keep it forever.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17730
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Michael
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17731