Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 2, in script order. First aired October 4, 2007.
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Jan
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17732
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Michael
Hey, what is the actual deal with these things in terms of testicles?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17733
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Jan
What?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17734
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Michael
I don't want to grow weird sperm in case we ever want to have kids.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17735
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Jan
So, what's Ryan doing here?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17736
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Michael
Oh, I dunno, they're launching a big new business plan. New website, blah blah blah. He's being a real twerp about it, so, it's all about youth, and agility and streamlining and trying to squeeze out the older people.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17737
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Jan
He's such a snake.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17738
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Michael
Well...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17739
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Jan
I hope he's gets hit with an ageism suit.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17740
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Michael
What is that... word?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17741
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Jan
Ageism? Companies they can't discriminate against people due to old age. Like a couple years ago we tried to force out some of the older branch managers with a mandatory retirement age and then Ed Truck, your old boss, threatened us with a lawsuit, so we had to back off.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17742
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Michael
So older people have just as many rights as younger people?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17743
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Jan
Yes, Michael, they do.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17744
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Oscar
Creed?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17745
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Creed
Yes, sir.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17746
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Oscar
Everything OK?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17747
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Creed
Everything's cool, dude.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17748
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Creed
I'm thirty. Well, in November I'll be thirty.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17749
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Ryan
Is there another meeting scheduled, I was gonna do the Blackberry tutorial in here.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17750
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Pam
Michael told us to wait in here. We don't know why.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17751
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Ryan
Ohh... man.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17752
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Michael
Good, we're all here, we can get started.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17753
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Ryan
Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17754
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Michael
Have a seat.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17755
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Ryan
We're not doing this today.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17756
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Michael
Have a seat. Like everybody else.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17757
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Ryan
OK. This is...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17758
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Michael
Still my office, Ryan. Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well, new ideas are fine, but they are also... illegal, because they are a form of ageism. What? Yes, I am right. Did you know that the Age Discrimination and Employment Act of 1967 prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 40 years of age or older? I did.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17759
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Toby
Technically, he's right.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17760
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Michael
Hey, shut up Toby. Look, why do we as a society hate old people so much?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17761
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Creed
Because they're lame.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17762
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Michael
No, Creed, no they are not. In fact, many cultures revere old people because of their storytelling ability. Like the old lady from Titanic. Or the funny things that they can do, like 'where's the Beef?' Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17763
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Jim
Why do you have the Big picture up again? You used that already, when you burned your foot.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17764
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Pam
Reusing the Ben Kingsley, too.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17765
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Michael
I was going to put up some new pictures, but umm, all of the ink in the printer was gone.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17766
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Pam
Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17767
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Robert Dunder
Michael Scott?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17768
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Michael
That is me. Come on in. Who is this old fart? Did you just stagger off the street? Out of a box or something? Who's this worthless bag of bones? Well, this guy is none other than one of the founders of Dunder Mifflin, Mr. Robert Dunder. Huh?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17769
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Dwight
Oh, yeah. Yes!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17770
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Robert Dunder
Thank you everyone.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17771
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Ryan
Michael, can I talk to you a second?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17772
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Michael
Sure thing. 'Scuse me.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17773
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Ryan
We have actual work to do.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17774
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Michael
Fine. Then I will call David Wallace and you can explain to him why you threw the founder of the company out on his ancient butt.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17775
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Michael
Bob, how old are you?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17776
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Robert Dunder
I'm 87.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17777
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Michael
Eighty-seven years young. And still active. That is great. Did you know, that Bob is still a member of the Board of Dunder Mifflin?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17778
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Robert Dunder
Well, I, I, I haven't been to a board meeting in years. I, I send a proxy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17779
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Michael
Ah, still sends his own proxy. Good for you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17780
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Dwight
I'm gonna live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Manheim is 103, and still puttering around in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17781
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Robert Dunder
I started this company in 1949.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17782
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Michael
Wow.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17783
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Robert Dunder
Back then, it was an uh, an industrial supplier of metal brackets mostly for, for construction.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17784
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Michael
Oh, boy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17785
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Robert Dunder
And then Mifflin, of course he killed himself later... Uh, but I knew Mifflin through the Rotary Club.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17786
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Michael
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17787
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Robert Dunder
And he was, he was at dinner with Beverly and her husband, wha-what was his name, umm... uhh... Jerry.. Jerry Trupiano from, from South Jersey and he was tall. Both he and Mifflin were tall guys.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17788
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Michael
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17789
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Robert Dunder
And...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17790
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Michael
That's great. Thank you for coming in. Robert Dunder everybody. Thank you. That was wonderful. Do you have a ride?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17791
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Robert Dunder
Well I, I, I came here in a cab.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17792
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Michael
Perfect.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17793
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Robert Dunder
Well, cou, could you get me another...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17794
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Michael
Inspirational. What have we learned? Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, because it's illegal, and you will go to jail.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17795
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Pam
I think that I should help him get home.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17796
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Michael
No, No. Don't help him. He doesn't need help, Pam. What a nice guy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17797
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Michael
Good night guys.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17798
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Ryan
Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17799
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Michael
I disagree, I think it was very valuable.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17800
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Ryan
Michael, technology helps business OK? You should not resist it, this is the way the world is moving.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17801
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Michael
I happen to think the old ways of doing business are better. And I can prove it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17802
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Ryan
Ok. I look forward to hearing your ideas. Where do you wanna go?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17803
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Kelly
You know, some place romantic and expensive.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17804
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Ryan
Kelly, come on.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17805
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Kelly
You know what, you're right. I'm feeling kind of nauseous anyway. So, you know skip it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17806
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Dwight
Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17807
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Angela
Very much. How's your meat?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17808
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Dwight
Dry. Delicious.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17809
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Angela
I heard a joke today.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17810
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Dwight
Oh, that's funny.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17811
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Angela
Yes, it was.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17812
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Dwight
Are you enjoying your mineral water?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17813
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Angela
I can't do this. I can't be with you. Every time I look in your eyes I see Sprinkles' stiff lifeless body.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17814
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Dwight
Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here, it's an old sales trick.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17815
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Angela
I'm sorry. I gave this everything I could.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17816
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Dwight
No, please don't do this, monkey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17817
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Angela
I will leave your toothbrush on top of your tire tomorrow morning.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17818
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Toby
Hey guys. This is my, uh, girlfriend, Amy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17819
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Pam
Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17820
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Jim
Hey, Amy. How ya doing?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17821
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Pam
Nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17822
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Jim
Nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17823
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Toby
This is everybody else... okay... This is the place... so thanks for the lift.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17824
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Amy
Yeah, sure. I'll, uh, I'll see you tonight, right?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17825
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Toby
Absolutely.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17826
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Amy
Whoa. Easy tiger.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17827
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Toby
I just really like you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17828
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Amy
Okay. Bye guys. Nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17829
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Toby
Have a great day!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17830
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Pam
Whoa, Toby. Watch out. You're going to violate your own PDA memo.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17831