Every line from The Office season 4, episode 2, in script order. First aired October 4, 2007.
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Jan
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17732
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Michael
Hey, what is the actual deal with these things in terms of testicles?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17733
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Jan
What?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17734
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Michael
I don't want to grow weird sperm in case we ever want to have kids.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17735
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Jan
So, what's Ryan doing here?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17736
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Michael
Oh, I dunno, they're launching a big new business plan. New website, blah blah blah. He's being a real twerp about it, so, it's all about youth, and agility and streamlining and trying to squeeze out the older people.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17737
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Jan
He's such a snake.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17738
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Michael
Well...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17739
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Jan
I hope he's gets hit with an ageism suit.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17740
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Michael
What is that... word?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17741
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Jan
Ageism? Companies they can't discriminate against people due to old age. Like a couple years ago we tried to force out some of the older branch managers with a mandatory retirement age and then Ed Truck, your old boss, threatened us with a lawsuit, so we had to back off.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17742
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Michael
So older people have just as many rights as younger people?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17743
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Jan
Yes, Michael, they do.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17744
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Oscar
Creed?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17745
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Creed
Yes, sir.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17746
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Oscar
Everything OK?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17747
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Creed
Everything's cool, dude.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17748
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Creed
I'm thirty. Well, in November I'll be thirty.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17749
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Ryan
Is there another meeting scheduled, I was gonna do the Blackberry tutorial in here.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17750
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Pam
Michael told us to wait in here. We don't know why.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17751
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Ryan
Ohh... man.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17752
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Michael
Good, we're all here, we can get started.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17753
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Ryan
Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17754
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Michael
Have a seat.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17755
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Ryan
We're not doing this today.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17756
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Michael
Have a seat. Like everybody else.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17757
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Ryan
OK. This is...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17758
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Michael
Still my office, Ryan. Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well, new ideas are fine, but they are also... illegal, because they are a form of ageism. What? Yes, I am right. Did you know that the Age Discrimination and Employment Act of 1967 prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 40 years of age or older? I did.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17759
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Toby
Technically, he's right.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17760
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Michael
Hey, shut up Toby. Look, why do we as a society hate old people so much?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17761
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Creed
Because they're lame.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17762
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Michael
No, Creed, no they are not. In fact, many cultures revere old people because of their storytelling ability. Like the old lady from Titanic. Or the funny things that they can do, like 'where's the Beef?' Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17763
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Jim
Why do you have the Big picture up again? You used that already, when you burned your foot.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17764
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Pam
Reusing the Ben Kingsley, too.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17765
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Michael
I was going to put up some new pictures, but umm, all of the ink in the printer was gone.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17766
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Pam
Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17767
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Robert Dunder
Michael Scott?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17768
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Michael
That is me. Come on in. Who is this old fart? Did you just stagger off the street? Out of a box or something? Who's this worthless bag of bones? Well, this guy is none other than one of the founders of Dunder Mifflin, Mr. Robert Dunder. Huh?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17769
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Dwight
Oh, yeah. Yes!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17770
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Robert Dunder
Thank you everyone.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17771
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Ryan
Michael, can I talk to you a second?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17772
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Michael
Sure thing. 'Scuse me.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17773
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Ryan
We have actual work to do.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17774
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Michael
Fine. Then I will call David Wallace and you can explain to him why you threw the founder of the company out on his ancient butt.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17775
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Michael
Bob, how old are you?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17776
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Robert Dunder
I'm 87.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17777
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Michael
Eighty-seven years young. And still active. That is great. Did you know, that Bob is still a member of the Board of Dunder Mifflin?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17778
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Robert Dunder
Well, I, I, I haven't been to a board meeting in years. I, I send a proxy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17779
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Michael
Ah, still sends his own proxy. Good for you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17780
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Dwight
I'm gonna live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Manheim is 103, and still puttering around in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17781
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Robert Dunder
I started this company in 1949.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17782
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Michael
Wow.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17783
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Robert Dunder
Back then, it was an uh, an industrial supplier of metal brackets mostly for, for construction.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17784
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Michael
Oh, boy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17785
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Robert Dunder
And then Mifflin, of course he killed himself later... Uh, but I knew Mifflin through the Rotary Club.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17786
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Michael
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17787
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Robert Dunder
And he was, he was at dinner with Beverly and her husband, wha-what was his name, umm... uhh... Jerry.. Jerry Trupiano from, from South Jersey and he was tall. Both he and Mifflin were tall guys.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17788
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Michael
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17789
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Robert Dunder
And...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17790
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Michael
That's great. Thank you for coming in. Robert Dunder everybody. Thank you. That was wonderful. Do you have a ride?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17791
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Robert Dunder
Well I, I, I came here in a cab.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17792
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Michael
Perfect.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17793
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Robert Dunder
Well, cou, could you get me another...
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17794
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Michael
Inspirational. What have we learned? Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, because it's illegal, and you will go to jail.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17795
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Pam
I think that I should help him get home.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17796
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Michael
No, No. Don't help him. He doesn't need help, Pam. What a nice guy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17797
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Michael
Good night guys.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17798
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Ryan
Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17799
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Michael
I disagree, I think it was very valuable.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17800
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Ryan
Michael, technology helps business OK? You should not resist it, this is the way the world is moving.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17801
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Michael
I happen to think the old ways of doing business are better. And I can prove it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17802
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Ryan
Ok. I look forward to hearing your ideas. Where do you wanna go?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17803
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Kelly
You know, some place romantic and expensive.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17804
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Ryan
Kelly, come on.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17805
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Kelly
You know what, you're right. I'm feeling kind of nauseous anyway. So, you know skip it.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17806
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Dwight
Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17807
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Angela
Very much. How's your meat?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17808
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Dwight
Dry. Delicious.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17809
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Angela
I heard a joke today.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17810
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Dwight
Oh, that's funny.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17811
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Angela
Yes, it was.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17812
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Dwight
Are you enjoying your mineral water?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17813
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Angela
I can't do this. I can't be with you. Every time I look in your eyes I see Sprinkles' stiff lifeless body.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17814
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Dwight
Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here, it's an old sales trick.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17815
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Angela
I'm sorry. I gave this everything I could.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17816
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Dwight
No, please don't do this, monkey.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17817
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Angela
I will leave your toothbrush on top of your tire tomorrow morning.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17818
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Toby
Hey guys. This is my, uh, girlfriend, Amy.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17819
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Pam
Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17820
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Jim
Hey, Amy. How ya doing?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17821
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Pam
Nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17822
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Jim
Nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17823
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Toby
This is everybody else... okay... This is the place... so thanks for the lift.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17824
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Amy
Yeah, sure. I'll, uh, I'll see you tonight, right?
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17825
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Toby
Absolutely.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17826
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Amy
Whoa. Easy tiger.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17827
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Toby
I just really like you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17828
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Amy
Okay. Bye guys. Nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17829
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Toby
Have a great day!
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17830
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Pam
Whoa, Toby. Watch out. You're going to violate your own PDA memo.
Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17831