Every line from The Office season 4, episode 14, in script order. First aired May 15, 2008.
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Holly
Okay. Good night.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22497
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Michael
Bye.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22498
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Holly
Yeah, it was a good day. I mean, first days are always the hardest, right? Well, I should go. I gotta buckle him in.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22499
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Michael
Well this is it. I am here to see you off.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22500
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Toby
Thanks... Really, Michael?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22501
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Michael
Sorry. Corporate policy.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22502
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Toby
It's not.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22503
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Michael
You might take something.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22504
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Hank Doyle
I don't think he's gonna take anything.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22505
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Michael
Okay, security guard.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22506
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Toby
Oh, some kind of... alarm.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22507
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Michael
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22508
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Michael
Hi, Jan, it's Michael. I just um, I just want to let you know that I am going to go to your Lamaze class tomorrow. Um, and if there's any details you need to fill me in on, like... what exactly Lamaze is, that would be great. And I... will see you tomorrow morning. I am going to be... kind of a daddy.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22509
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Phyllis
Party planning's a real high. Like a runner's high.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22510
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Angela
Oh my God!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22511
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Dwight
What?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22512
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Toby
This is Jim Halpert...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22513
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Jim
Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22514
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Toby
And Pam Beesly.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22515
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Holly
Oh, Pam! Toby says such nice things about you.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22516
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Pam
Thank you!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22517
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Jim
He didn't mention me, did he?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22518
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Holly
Oh, no, he said you were a really good salesman.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22519
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Jim
Thanks, Toby.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22520
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Toby
You're welcome.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22521
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Jim
I've always gotten along well with Toby. Uh, we're friends. But I don't think we'll stay in touch necessarily. I think I'll probably get updates on him from Pam.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22522
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Holly
Oh, I think that makes us neighbors.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22523
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Meredith
It's a couple streets over.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22524
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Holly
Oh, maybe you can show me some of the fun hangouts, and where to get my nails done.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22525
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Meredith
Sure! That sounds fun!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22526
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Holly
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22527
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Meredith
I hate that bitch. I wanna cut her face.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22528
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Dwight
Stop! Don't look at me. On the counter you will find bread, peanut butter, and jelly. Pretend to make yourself a sandwich.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22529
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Meredith
Pretend? Or really make one?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22530
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Dwight
Really make one.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22531
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Meredith
Make your ownin' sandwich.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22532
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Dwight
Will you please? Make a sandwich. Now, according to my sources, you have an issue with the new H.R. woman. Well, so do I. And so does our secret benefactor. That's too much peanut butter. What I propose is a good old-fashioned hazing, and I need your help. If you choose to accept this mission...Wipe the knife off before you stick it in the jelly. Have you ever made a sandwich before? Dammit, Meredith!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22533
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Phyllis
Well, who can do a party of this size? But you're in the business, you must surely know of some other businesses. Okay, well, I JUST WANT A DAMN DANCE FLOOR! Sorry. So sorry, I shouldn't have sworn, I'm so sorry. Um, thanks for your time. What? Sorry, I shouldn't have said 'what' like that, it was really rude.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22534
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Jim
Scared me. How's the party planning going?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22535
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Phyllis
Jim, I am so f[bleep]ed.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22536
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Jim
So it's going great, sounds like.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22537
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Phyllis
I don't know, I'm not used to the stress.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22538
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Phyllis
When I was growing up, my mom said, 'the sky's the limit.' I could do anything. Be a teacher's aide, nurse's assistant, some kind of volunteer. But now, I, I'm not so sure.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22539
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Toby
This is a picture I've been carrying around in my wallet for about six years. It's this unspoiled beach in Costa Rica, Playa Grande. Um, I take it out when I get stressed or depressed, and it really calms me down. Never thought I'd get to live here, you know. But it turns out they built these great new condos there, so, this could be me, right around, uh, where the trees used to be.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22540
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Toby
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22541
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Jim
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22542
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Pam
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22543
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Toby
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22544
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Pam
Did you just buy that?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22545
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Toby
Yeah, I guess it will be my, uh, thing in Costa Rica, be a nature photographer.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22546
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Jim
That's cool.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22547
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Toby
Yeah. Um, you mind if I get a picture?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22548
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Jim
Sure!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22549
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Toby
Think you could...Okay. Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22550
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Jim
Good one? That's a cool camera.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22551
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Jim
Okay, this is the second time in two days that the website isn't working. Do you guys know anything about it?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22552
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Dwight
The website is hiding, forming alliances with other sites, preparing an attack for which we will have no defense.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22553
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Jim
Do you honestly believe that?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22554
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Dwight
Yes, I do.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22555
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Jim
I'm gonna get a second opinion.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22556
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Andy
It was down for a couple hours yesterday, then back up, and now I've heard from a very reliable source that it is once again out of commission. And that reliable source is you.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22557
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Jim
Okay, you could just say you don't know what's going on.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22558
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Andy
Um, I do, 'cause I just told you.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22559
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Jim
Is Ryan gonna fire me? I don't know. I know that I've done everything I can, and I just brought in a huge sale, and... am I insane, or was this kid a temp two years ago? Because in the three years that he's been here, I think all he's ever done is start a fire and grow a beard. And it's not even a good beard.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22560
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Troy
Troy Undercook, for Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22561
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Pam
Ahh! I'm sorry, I didn't, I didn't see you come in.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22562
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Dwight
Troy! What are you doing here?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22563
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Troy
Just filling in for Ryan, as a favor.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22564
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Dwight
Where is Ryan?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22565
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Troy
He had an urgent matter in New York.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22566
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Dwight
Welcome to our land.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22567
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Pam
Dwight. Michael will be out in a second.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22568
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Dwight
Can I get you a tankard of mead?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22569
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Jim
Hey, Troy, can you do me a huge favor? Next time you see Ryan, can you tell him to check his messages? That'd be great.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22570
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Troy
If I see him, I'll tell him.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22571
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Jim
Why wouldn't you see him? You work for him.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22572
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Troy
I report to Wallace now.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22573
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Jim
Okay, what's going on?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22574
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Dwight
Looks serious.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22575
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Someone
What's a...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22576
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Michael
Oh, my God.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22577
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Dwight
Troy, do you know anything about this?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22578
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Troy
Maybe I do.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22579
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Dwight
Maybe I do. Enough of your magical riddles!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22580
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Phyllis
And if the food stations are here and here... no! Here and here. Drinks here, then people can mingle. But then where would the band go?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22581
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Bob Vance
Mmm. Well, what about there?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22582
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Phyllis
Mmm, no Bob, I don't know.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22583
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Phyllis
It's times like these, I wish my mother were with me right now. She'd show me what to do. That's stupid; she's not here. She's at water aerobics for the next forty-five minutes.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22584
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Stanley
Why don't we eat more corn dogs? They're delicious.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22585
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Oscar
Totally, they're the best.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22586
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Stanley
Corn dogs should be the standard. Corn dogs should be called hot dogs, and hot dogs should be called bad dogs.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22587
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Oscar
Why don't we make corn burgers?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22588
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Stanley
What a messed up world.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22589
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Oscar
Seriously, do you like my idea? Corn burgers.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22590
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Angela
I need you to make an announcement that this party is a disaster.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22591
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Andy
But I don't think it's a disaster. I think it's fun, and I like the food.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22592
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Angela
Deep fried Twinkies? It's gross!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22593
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Andy
Is that what that is?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22594
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Angela
Yes.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22595
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Andy
You know what, I didn't try those. I could try this. Augh! Fried Twinkies, you kidding me? Starting to wonder about the food in this place. Oh, God! That is so good.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22596