Every line from The Office season 4, episode 14, in script order. First aired May 15, 2008.
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Dwight
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute. Hello?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 21997
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Jim
Hello, this is Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 21998
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Dwight
Hello? Hello?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 21999
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Jim
Yes, we do have that. Hold on one second...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22000
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Dwight
Jim, what are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22001
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Jim
And how many would you like?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22002
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Dwight
Uh, uh, hang that up right now. Ha-
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22003
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Jim
Absolutely. We can get that out to you immediately.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22004
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Dwight
This man is an imposter! Do not do business with him! This is not Dwight Schrute!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22005
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Jim
Dwight left his cell phone on his desk. So, naturally, I paired it to my headset.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22006
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Dwight
K, fine. I'll just let it go to voicemail.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22007
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Jim
Hello, this is Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22008
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Pam
Hey, is this Dwight?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22009
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Jim
Yes it is.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22010
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Pam
Oh my goodness, you sound sexy.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22011
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Jim
Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22012
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Dwight
Woah, woah, woah, Pam!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22013
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Pam
Have you?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22014
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Dwight
Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22015
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Pam
Dwight?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22016
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Dwight
No! Pam, I'm over here!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22017
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Pam
I'm confused...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22018
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Dwight
Disconnect that right now. You give me your earpiece.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22019
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Jim
Can't do that. Unsanitary.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22020
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Dwight
Ugh! Okay, you know what? Fine. I will reprogram my phone to go to my office phone. Done.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22021
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Jim
This is Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22022
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Jim
Oh, and I forwarded his desk phone to mine.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22023
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Jim
Oh, hello Mater. Good news: I've married. Tell Fater. Such a nice woman.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22024
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Dwight
Argh! Ahh!!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22025
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Michael
Today is Toby Flenderson's last day. I couldn't sleep last night. I came extra-early. So much energy... There are certain days you know you know you will remember for the rest of your life, and I just have a feeling that today is one of those days.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22026
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Toby
Morning.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22027
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Michael
Mornin'. So here we go, just a matter of hours now, until his horribleness has left the building. I'm going to set my watch alarm... And...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22028
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Toby
Good morning, Kelly.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22029
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Kelly
I can't believe this is your last day. How do you feel?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22030
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Toby
Fine. Good.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22031
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Kelly
I feel weird.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22032
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Michael
First thing on the agenda-actually, the only thing on the agenda, is the status of Toby's going away party.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22033
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Angela
We have a buttercream cake and a slideshow of Toby.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22034
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Michael
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22035
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Angela
But so far we only have two pictures of him.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22036
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Michael
Okay, well, this will not do. Toby is going away forever, and uh, we need to do something very very special. In some cultures, when somebody leaves, like New Orleans culture, they have a parade and they have a band and people party in the streets...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22037
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Pam
Do you mean, leaves as in dies? You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans' funeral?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22038
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Michael
If the Devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22039
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Angela
Michael...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22040
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Michael
Like a beach blowout? Or a toga, toga-
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22041
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Angela
No. You know-no!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22042
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Michael
Toga!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22043
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Angela
You always do this! We have a nice, modest party planned, and then you come in and demand the world. Let me be clear. There is simply no money for anything other than a cake and to develop a few more slides... although Toby won't be in them.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22044
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Michael
I thought that you might say that.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22045
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Michael
Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately, she has been sending me, like nine or ten checks a year... uh, as Nana starts to... but, I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. 'Michael, buy a motorcycle.' So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22046
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Michael
I want a party that makes me feel like I am flying through the air without this... ugly weight holding me down, you know?... I want an antigravity machine. I saw it in a movie. You drink a potion, and then you just start floating all around.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22047
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Pam
So how much antigravity potion do you want?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22048
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Angela
No! No! You know what? This is not a party-planning committee anymore! And I don't want your foot money, and I feel uncomfortable participating.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22049
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Michael
Phyllis, can you do this?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22050
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Phyllis
Yes.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22051
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Pam
Hi, can I help you?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22052
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Holly
Hi. Yes, uh, I'm Holly Flax. I was told to ask for a Mr. Flenderson?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22053
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Toby
As part of my last day I'm training the new Human Resources rep in the ways of the company. Again, the company has allotted for this training-one day.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22054
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Toby
So this is H.R. This is your desk.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22055
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Holly
I love the view.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22056
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Toby
Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22057
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Pam
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22058
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Jim
Hey... What?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22059
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Pam
Guess who just got into the Pratt School of Design.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22060
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Jim
No way! What did I say? I said that they'd love those sketches. Congratulations!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22061
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Pam
Oh, thank you! I don't know why I doubted it, because I'm so clearly awesome!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22062
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Jim
Yes! So when do you start?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22063
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Pam
I don't know, I didn't read it carefully, I just saw 'congratulations' and I skimmed the list, I saw my name, I came in here to tell you and get a snack.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22064
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Jim
Wow. Busy morning.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22065
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Pam
So, you know it means I have to go to New York for three months...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22066
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Jim
It's not a big deal. I'll come visit you. And you'll visit me. It's only two hours away. It'll be fine. That part's gonna suck, but it'll be great.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22067
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Pam
Yeah, it sucks, but it'll be great.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22068
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Jim
See how easy that is?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22069
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Pam
Ohh...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22070
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Pam
I wouldn't go if things weren't so solid with Jim. And down the road, if we have a family, I couldn't go then either. So, the timing's perfect... And that is the first time I've ever used the word 'perfect' in here!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22071
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Toby
Hey, Stanley...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22072
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Stanley
Hmm?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22073
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Toby
I want to introduce you to...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22074
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Michael
Toby's replacement. Ugh. Wow.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22075
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Dwight
So what do we know about her?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22076
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Michael
Well, we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. So, strike one, I hate her already.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22077
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Dwight
I hate her too.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22078
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Michael
Why do you hate her?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22079
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Dwight
Because she... stinks... with her... ways... and her... head.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22080
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Michael
You know, Dwight, sometimes... I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22081
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Dwight
Would that be such a bad thing?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22082
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Michael
Yeah! It would! Just have a thought. Have an original thought. Although, I will agree that her head is weird. You know what we need to do?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22083
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Dwight
What?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22084
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Michael
We need to sell her an elevator pass.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22085
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Dwight
But our, our elevator doesn't require a pa...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22086
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Michael
Exactly. A little old-fashioned hazing.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22087
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Phyllis
Hi. Are there any local companies that rent antigravity machines?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22088
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Woman over speakerphone
Antigravity machines?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22089
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Phyllis
That's right. Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22090
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Woman over speakerphone
What do they do exactly?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22091
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Phyllis
They make you feel lighter...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22092
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Woman over speakerphone
Antigravity... Um... Anti...depressants? I could put you through to someone on that.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22093
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Phyllis
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22094
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22095
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Toby
Hey Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22096