Meredith Palmer Quotes from The Office (page 5)

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647 quotes · page 5 of 7

1. Uh, Manuel, cleano el window.

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2. You smell like a Scorpio. This is...Esteban...another cleaning man. He doesn't speak English either. Esteban, el flooro.

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3. Danny, I feel a real connection to you, and I gotta get real, I'm-

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4. Please to meet you-

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5. Wait, wait. She hasn't moved in awhile.

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6. Drama Queen?

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7. Hey, back off. It's Solitare.

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8. Suck it Oscar.

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9. Wow, so this building can get uglier.

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10. Not yet!

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11. Wow.

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12. Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail?

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13. What does the strangler look like? Is he gorgeous? He looks gorgeous in the drawings.

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14. That scowl.

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15. Maybe your senator boyfriend has a blanket in his car... for screwing Americans.

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16. Thank you.

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17. The real problem is the teachers' union.

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18. No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read.

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19. Annoying.

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20. Well, if you don't have to do 'em...

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21. Sweet! Free Ring!

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22. Why?

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23. Maybe it wasn't.

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24. Uh, I also don't see Andy.

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25. You know, I think I have some type of cheese in the back of my fridge you might like.

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26. Don't what's up us! You think you're so cute, with your pretty blonde hair!

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27. That's how he gets you to take off his panties.

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28. Sure.

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29. Forget you.

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30. Fine, just give it.

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31. That apple looks delic!

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32. I'm so busted! Walk of shame!

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33. Ahh, Nice! I got a Dundie nomination!

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34. No no no! You guys stay! No no no! I have Vienna Sausages and I have napkins. Let me fix you breakfast!

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35. Tell ya one thing, I'm not gonna be a good mom tonight! Whooo!

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36. That is bull!

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37. You hit me with your car!

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38. Hey! What are you saying?!

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39. We decided on the ice cream. Mint chocolate chip, your favorite.

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40. Erotic.

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41. I know these Ethiopians that run a cake shop.

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42. They make these cakes, they're wild! I mean, they show everything!

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43. I know what you're thinking, but it's not just black, they do it all. And the women on these cakes, they're not just guy's fantasies. They have real, full women. It is refreshing.

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44. Okay, everyone make a list of what's lost for the insurance. I lost a necklace, a ring, a painting-

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45. Wow...

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46. Tell us the freaking story!

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47. You pick a crappy boss, you're responsible for my crappy life.

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48. Yeah, you gotta know.

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49. I just want, for once, a smart, professional, decisive, well-hung man in his forties.

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50. Okay, fine. Uhh, the guy with a tiny penis. Are you happy? Let's hire that guy!

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51. Maybe we're s'posed to do it with people in our group.

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52. People in the other group.

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53. Hey!

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54. 'Suck it losers.'

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55. Just take the casserole out of the- Take it out of the refrigerator and put it in the oven. It'll be fine, just leave it in for 20 minutes.

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56. Hey, this ain't no Breakfast Club, bitch.

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57. I gotta go.

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58. Hi.

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59. What's with the blanket?

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60. How does one get a point?

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61. Looks good.

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62. Whoa!

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63. Bye!

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64. We're lookin' at at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.

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65. get a divorce...get a divorce...

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66. Great billboard! Funny, edgy, right up to the line without crossing it, loved it.

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67. Washington Street, the one with, like, twenty dongs on it.

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68. Yeah, whoa, who's the sausage?

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69. Hell no. She wishes.

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70. Get up there and sing or I will cut your larynx and you'll never be able to sing again. Woo!

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71. Well I just hate being treated like some bum with no class. I'm a lady. I'm a mother. I'm a former boxer!

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72. Because I was there. Your the people's princess! Diana was nothing!

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73. What I said was, 'My sister's funeral is this weekend.' Didn't say I'd be there.

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74. Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story? Warms my heart, thinking about them two kids, doing it.

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75. Honestly, Jim gives me the creeps.

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76. Jim.

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77. Seen and banged.

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78. Ok, I met him in a bar, right? There's something weird about him. He doesn't smell right, the clothes are all tattered and dirty and from another age. Anyways, we end up back and my place and we go at it all night-

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79. I wake up the next morning, all my stuff's gone. Whole house turned over. No trace. You tell me what happened.

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80. He didn't smell like a drifter.

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81. It's stupid.

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82. Gotta get in shape. I'm doing Ironman next month. And I want him to be attracted to me.

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83. What is the status on my wish?

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84. Either he drives or I drive. Now I'm drunk and mad.

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85. Thank you Santa.

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86. I know, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

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87. Alright.

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88. Whoa! My stuff!

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89. It's my valuables!

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90. This is my treasures, no they're my treasures!

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91. No I'm not, I'm gonna sell it on Ebay! No no no, you be careful. Be careful.

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92. Where are we? This ain't my street.

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93. Ah, this is the posh part of town, huh?

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94. Wonder what a studio condo would cost in this neighborhood?

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95. What are you smiling for? You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

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96. Ow! Take it easy.

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97. Cake?...You seem a little down.

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98. How about I fix you some warm milk with some bourbon?

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99. Maybe watch a movie...under a blanket...

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100. The Murphy bed of my basement.

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