Meredith Palmer Quotes from The Office (page 4)

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647 quotes · page 4 of 7

1. Niagara Falls in October? Pfft, hells yeah.

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2. Nah, I'll just tell you now, easier.

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3. I'll just have whatever's fanciest, unless there's ribs. I'll just get the other information the day of, I'll text you.

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4. Uh huh.

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5. Right...

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6. Unless there's ribs.

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7. We have.

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8. Wait. Seriously?!

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9. My kid needs shoes! You want to tell him he doesn't get shoes?!

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10. What the hell?!

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11. You're not saying anything. At least Jim was being direct...

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12. ...when he was telling us his dumbass plan.

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13. I am so pissed at this company!

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14. Yeah. Who said that?

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15. Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.

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16. All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigars and I'm not stopping for anyone.

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17. More recently, he worked in a bowling alley. Tell her one of your funny bowling alley stories.

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18. Crotch injuries are the worst. You don't need to tell me.

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19. Is there still something there?

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20. It didn't get torn off?

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21. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What is the etiquette on taking the gifts? Can you only take your own back or is it a whatever you can carry type of thing?

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22. The weekend!

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23. Well I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet.

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24. He calls it an upper decker.

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25. So what'd you bring us?

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26. What else?

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27. Oh, 'cause you spent so much on the wedding.

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28. Paint a mural of Chicano leaders.

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29. I'm a hobo.

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30. I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.

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31. Uh, we have. Countless times.

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32. I don't want to say it out loud.

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33. I really didn't want to put it on the board but I thought maybe it was gonna come out somehow so... what are you gonna do?

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34. Hey, let's watch this thing.

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35. Shh. It's on.

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36. Hey, what's up lifeguard?

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37. Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room although the seat was warm so we may have just missed him.

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38. Belles, Bourbon and Bullets, a murder mystery dinner party game.

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39. Nice accent. You sound like Forrest Gump.

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40. How about a threesome?

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41. I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.

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42. And it looks like you're taking a dump.

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43. Why don't we talk more about it instead of doing it?

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44. No, I get it.

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45. How 'bout us? It's Meredith. By the way, your wife is a very lucky woman.

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46. Talk about vacation days!

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47. Hey, who the hell's going through our stuff?

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48. Ow! Geez, you gave me a paper cut on my throat!

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49. Yeah, I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. Don't try to cut my throat.

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50. No it ain't. We all saw the Valentine you gave her.

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51. Believe me, if I got that card? We'd be in the bathroom doin' it right... now.

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52. Oh, getting there, huh?

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53. I have a shirt like that in my car.

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54. Hey, it's 5:00!

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55. She hasn't popped yet.

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56. You know it. I am never getting married.

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57. Like Clooney.

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58. Stop fighting. Just on St Patrick's Day, okay? Just one perfect day a year. No hassles, no problems, no kids.

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59. Nope. Nuh -uh. Not today!

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60. Hey! Me and Creed are in. Are you guys in?

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61. All right.

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62. Okey-dokey.

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63. It's coming off anyway.

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64. Nice spread. We get it. You eat like royalty.

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65. What do we get if we do 'em?

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66. Here you go.

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67. Have a cookie, Kev.

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68. I just like the way it feels.

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69. Just relax. Okay.

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70. This is like the Cadillac of pumps.

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71. Okay, I was just warming it up.

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72. It's not a big deal.

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73. We're both girls. Who cares?

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74. Pathetic.

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75. You and Donna should hit the Poconos. They have heart-shaped Jacuzzis. Room enough for three.

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76. That is something I would never do.

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77. Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.

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78. I ask... everyone in the room, 'Are you in a relationship?'.

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79. Hey, turn off the Chumbawamba and scram, twerp.

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80. I'm in.

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81. Sack up, man.

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82. Michael!

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83. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's just a cold sore.

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84. Yup, just a cold sore.

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85. I know tons and tons of people who have herpes. I have it myself. That's what it is.

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86. Because it's on my genitals, genius.

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87. Hey guys!

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88. Come on, give it a rest pencil dick.

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89. I didn't want you it!

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90. His ass was on that seat? All right!

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91. Thanks, hun.

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92. Meredith Van Helsing. Pleased to meet you.

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93. Hel-lo!

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94. That's a great set of shoulder's you got there. What is that...Genetics? Creatine? Sorry. Yeah?

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95. I'm sorry. You're here to sell me some paper.

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96. What do you mean?

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97. Real well. Uh...feels more like a third date to me.

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98. Shut up and let me do this! You know, what is with this desk keeping us so far apart?

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99. So, what's your drink? You a vodka man? Me too.

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100. Oh, Manuel! This is Manuel, my cleaning man. He doesn't speak any English.

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