Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 9)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 9 of 18

1. Okay, that sounds good. Um, I'll let you go, just -tell Jim, that I said hi.

   Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32588

2. Cool. Okay. Bye.

   Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32590

3. They have no idea what happened.

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4. Oooh yeah... Jim and Pam!

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5. Shhhh...

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6. Shhh...

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7. Who's pickle?

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8. Yes! That's what I'm talking about.

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9. Oh... where'd you get that hat?

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10. That is hilarious.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Line 33018

11. I'm gonna kill you.

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12. Yeah. Every single day.

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13. I don't want people making fun of my weight.

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14. Enjoying your nut?

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15. I'm not mocking. I was just making an observation about a nut.

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16. We'll stay late.

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17. Open QuickTime.

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18. No! Use QuickTime. Trust me. I've done this.

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19. Here they come. Boom!

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20. Hi.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33267

21. Because of sex?

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22. My money's on Pam.

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23. Michael could win.

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24. Why can't you just agree with me sometimes?

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25. We're here for the show, Michael.

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26. No way. Last time you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33598

27. Michael, are you OK? Did you throw up in there?

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28. It smells like throw up in here.

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29. Whoa, I'll try it.

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30. Oooo, now do the Swedish chef.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33706

31. He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass.

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32. Y'all.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33716

33. Do you want to go out on a date with me? We can make out by the horses.

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34. Nice.

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35. That could be a good sign.

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36. Now, Jim telling us all to work? I think that is a very good sign.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33750

37. Michael, I hated the twirl.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33874

38. Check it out, guys. There's a limo down here. Michael, look. Oh, man.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33887

39. Does and email count?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34001

40. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34003

41. Hey.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34236

42. Jim said that?

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43. Jim said that?

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44. No, no, that makes total sense.

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45. I... I... I did not... That was not... How come not?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34255

46. Look who it is!

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34295

47. Congrats Phil!

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34415

48. Michael it's me, Kevin. Phyllis says I'm too big for her lap.

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49. When can I sit on your lap?

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50. That's really comfortable.

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51. I don't know. I didn't know you were gonna ask me that.

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52. I didn't know. Nobody's ever let me sit on their lap before.

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53. Can you give me some choices? Cause I really don't want to mess up on this list.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34459

54. What about if I tell you the things I don't want?

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55. I didn't even get to tell you what I wanted!

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56. Awesome.

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57. Michael I had you. I just want to try Phyllis.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34515

58. He got scented candles!

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34559

59. Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, thy leaves are so unchanging...

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34674

60. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34791

61. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34797

62. Just 'cause you have liquid that doesn't make it a toast.

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63. Hi!

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64. What, no candy?

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65. Hi.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Line 35198

66. Jo, there's books in my chair.

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67. Nice!

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68. I cooked my way through Julia Childs' cookbook, and now, I'm halfway through the Twilight cookbook. Last night, I had Edward's corn flake chicken.

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69. Pregnant Pam and I, we get hungry at the same times, so we've been eating together a lot. Not all meals. Just second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, and first dinner.

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70. I thought that maybe we should do something special for early dinner. One last ultra feast.

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71. I think it should be a surprise.

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72. For the love of God, Pam, do it for ultra feast!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35494

73. Her shirt is touching them. Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35502

74. Stick spicy food up her butt.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35507

75. Our ultra feast menu's theme: Hollywood. We have Ratatouille, from Ratatouille, and tandoori chicken, from Born Into Brothels. I tried to bake a cake like that District 9 prawn thing, but I... Are you okay?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35565

76. I'm petrified.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35589

77. Ta-da!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35819

78. Yes!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35821

79. Oh, say nothing. You will learn to love me.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35823

80. Erin, would you have lunch with me?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35825

81. Yes!

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82. Bye.

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83. Hi.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35841

84. She touched my shoulder.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35843

85. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35852

86. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35854

87. Hi.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35919

88. Yeah, me too.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35921

89. Really, really fun.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35923

90. Yeah, me too.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35925

91. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35927

92. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35929

93. You said she liked me.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35931

94. I've dumped better than Erin.

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95. Lynn was way hotter than Erin, Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35935

96. Yeah, Michael, but you dated Holly and Jan, and they were so much hotter than you.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35937

97. Jo, I have an idea, for suntan lotion - soap.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36096

98. Just because Jo has no life, does not mean that the rest of us don't have lives. Oscar has a life. I think Ryan has a life. This is outrageous.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36201

99. Oh I'm in.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36218

100. You are never going to find them.

     Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36456