Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 8)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 8 of 18

1. Your call is very important to us. Ple-[Andy's phone rings]

   Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28762

2. Wag.

   Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28985

3. I thought Rajini Ghanda was a boy's name?

   Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29070

4. Try it in another sentence.

   Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29188

5. I guess I could be nicer.

   Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29550

6. Hi.

   Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29663

7. At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malone's for generations. It's probably the thing I do best.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29894

8. So, like, a disco cafe?

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30305

9. Yeah.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30308

10. Yeah. This place is great.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30310

11. I'm sorry.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30313

12. Yeah. Respect the lei.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30315

13. Is there a cookie?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30325

14. I wanted a cookie.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30330

15. Hi. Did you have bacon for breakfast?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30488

16. Oh...cause you smell like bacon.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30490

17. Tight. I'm going down the hall to this office to see Michael - there's free espressos.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30492

18. I would invite you but I remember that you just want to be friends.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30494

19. Are you sure that you didn't eat bacon?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30496

20. Oh. Whatever it is I like it. Bye.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30498

21. I love the smell of bacon on a woman.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30500

22. Hey, Lynn, it's Kevin. I was thinking about going and getting a coffee at the Cafe Disco, wondering if you want to go with. Bye. Angela, my stomach is really hurting.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30501

23. Michael, isn't that Holly?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30544

24. I got it.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30602

25. Set!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30628

26. Yeah!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30630

27. It's six to six. It's a nail-biter.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30716

28. Q.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30884

29. T.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30886

30. I might have extra, it just depends on how many I eat.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30918

31. Yeah... what do you mean exactly?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30920

32. Reeeeally.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30922

33. [looks at Andy and giggles]

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30941

34. Tea.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30943

35. You would.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30945

36. Oh, I bet you like it.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30947

37. Do you like it as much as you like mens' butts?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30949

38. Because you're gay.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30951

39. I need to do mine first. Who's been saying that there's another person inside of me, working me with controls?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31023

40. Stay.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31036

41. I knew it! Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first I thought 'Oh, she has a new bra with padding.' But then I thought 'Pam doesn't need padding.' It just didn't add up, Jim.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31059

42. Hey, we're gonna do this...

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31213

43. Hey, Pam, I heard that you were registered, but I didn't hear where.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31533

44. Like money? Like you-- you want my money?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31535

45. Will you take a check?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31537

46. Cool. In the memo line, I'm gonna write, 'To love's eternal glory.'

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31539

47. Wait til' Monday.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31541

48. Jim is only giving raises to the salesmen.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31577

49. Totally!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31585

50. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31590

51. Yeah, I don't understand how they can even consider giving money to some people and not the rest of us.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31613

52. What does a bean mean?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31637

53. Michael, what does a bean mean?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31639

54. What does a bean mean?!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31642

55. What does a bean mean?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31655

56. Michael!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31668

57. So... you're going to provide them, then?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31704

58. What the hell?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31706

59. Oh yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31732

60. People don't think of me as one of the sharper dressers in the office... but I'm going ot turn that around at this wedding. I thought, how could I take it to the next level? The hair. It's the hair-- Ok. Ok. I'm going. God.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31751

61. She thought I was your boyfriend.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31875

62. Oscar, I would be proud to date you.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31879

63. I'm not gay. I'm Kevin.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31881

64. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31883

65. Are you seeing anyone right now?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31886

66. Cool.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31888

67. She probably switched cards with someone. Like I did with Erin.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31893

68. Yes!

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31975

69. That sounds epic. Can we bring anything?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31977

70. It's a good idea.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31996

71. Yeah. But that's easy enough for you to say, Oscar. You have that thick, beautiful, Chicano hair. So nice.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31998

72. What else you got?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32020

73. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Pam's here. Pam?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32023

74. I left a pair of dress shoes in a bag outside my door last night to be cleaned at polished, but they haven't been returned yet.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32073

75. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32075

76. They were stolen?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32078

77. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32080

78. But that was my only pair of shoes.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32082

79. Well... well damn-it.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32084

80. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32086

81. Oscar. Angela.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32125

82. I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32180

83. The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32182

84. Oh, oh, does it have slots for hot dogs?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32209

85. Who would want it?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32211

86. What an awesome party. The best wedding I've ever been too. I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number. This was epic. My Kleenex shoes were a huge conversation piece, but man my dogs are barking. Whoo. My feet were so sweaty I can't even feel the cold. What a lovely hotel.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32238

87. Jim's gone on his honeymoon. So I started borrowing his office to fart in. Then one day I came in and I just stayed. Cause this place is awesome. It feels like home now. Even better than my home. My home sucks.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32277

88. Hello.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32399

89. Oh man, do you think it was stolen?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32401

90. Um, yes. Um, 383 Linden Ave., Scranton PA

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32403

91. Six-six-five-zero.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32405

92. Wait a minute. Yes I am.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32407

93. No. That... I, I think that we should let the criminal use the card a little longer.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32409

94. No-

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32411

95. Shoot.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32413

96. I usually can think quick on my feet, but they were so fast on the phone.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32437

97. Oh God. I wouldn't last in jail Oscar. I'm not like you.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32439

98. Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would love jail.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32441

99. Because... You would love it.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32443

100. Hi Pam, is Jim there?

     Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32586