Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 12)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 12 of 18

1. What don't you understand about the word approved? It seems some of you don't know what the word approved means.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43315

2. I have very little patience for stupidity.

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3. Mean but good!

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4. Hey, your life is so insane! You should write a book!

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5. I do know how to read though!

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6. He's right. I mean, I could lose some weight.

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7. I got a lot of numbers here to put together.

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8. That's silly. If anything, I should be apologizing to Packer. Because we all know I can dish it, as good as I can take it.

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9. Well, like I said, I wasn't offended, but I'll stand here for the big show.

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10. Woah, I love her. How much for that?

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11. 200

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12. 45

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13. Damn it.

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14. Yea when I was a kid I was on Dallas.

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15. Yea. When I was kid we missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii... I was in heaven.

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16. Yea.

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17. Nice.

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18. No you cant do that. You cant play a black mail card and call a proxy meeting in the same turn.

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19. no this card is from the wrong game this is from the game of life.

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20. No but that's not fair.

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21. Hey guys it's my turn.

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22. Yeah I told you, you can't shoot people.

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23. This is stupid and I want my money back. Where's the money?

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24. Ok you know what? I am never ever playing board games with you two again.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Line 43794

25. And that is Dallas.

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26. That's awesome!

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27. All of us?

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28. Nope! It's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone! Equally handsome, equally smart!

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Line 43923

29. Burnt! It's lush, dummie. Hey, Deangelo, what do you think of bald people? I hate them.

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30. Interesting.

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31. Awesome!

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32. Nice!

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33. Yes! I love banter. But I hate witty banter.

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34. Hi!

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35. I brought them from home! Do you have a red?

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44289

36. Oh really? [camera shows that Kevin has drawn a house on the tablecloth.

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44291

37. For birthdays!

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Line 44351

38. Oh!

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44466

39. Oh...

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44468

40. Better...

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41. But...

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42. Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now.

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43. Sounds beautiful!

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44. I'm going to!

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45. Finally! That old shredder sucked.

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46. Yeah, it won't shred magazines.

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47. I know...

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48. No, it's just... that old shredder sucks. Just get one that'll shred magazines.

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49. This all sounds great to me. But I could see how some people might think that they're bad. I don't know what to think.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44709

50. Jim only says that because he's in the inner circle. I also say that because I am also in the inner circle. Did you get that, Ma? Your boy, Kevin Malone, is IN the inner circle! Which doesn't exist.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44736

51. Yes!

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52. Yeah, I say we just go for it!

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53. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44753

54. Oh, I think it's 18 hundo.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44798

55. Didn't drop a single ball!

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56. Hot!

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57. That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. Deangelo, she can get really bitchy. Kevin...

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58. Jim, you coming?

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59. Yeah.

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60. Whoa.

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61. Yes! Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44947

62. One...

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63. No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight!

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64. You could put a banana in it.

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65. In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later.

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66. Put back everything in the vending machine except the fruit.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45133

67. Put everything back in the vending machine except... the fruit.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45135

68. What the is that? Oh, my...

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45145

69. Hey, Dwight, gimme a back massage.

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70. My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it.

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71. Hey, Jo!

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72. No, under the jacket.

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73. I don't feel anything.

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74. Push harder, Dwight.

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75. Go a little higher. There you go. Nope, higher. Higher.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45177

76. Knead it. Knead it like a pizza.

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77. Don't eat it.

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78. Another one?

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79. Thank you.

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80. Nice.

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81. Oh, I hit three. I hit three.

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82. Um... Business!

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83. The Botanical Gardens, Scranton's hidden gem. Don't eat any berries you don't recognize.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45288

84. Yeah! Tell us a story.

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85. Okay, but if Angela can get a gay man to marry her, maybe I could get a lesbian to marry me? Huh? Huh? That's hot.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45514

86. We don't tell her.

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87. Look at the puppet! Hi, puppet! Who are you?

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88. Yeah. Low blow, puppet.

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89. It's good. It's just that I wish the puppets would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me... but, if any kids are watching... A, B, and so forth. You know,... M-N-L-O, P... F...

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45589

90. Do you mean it? Anybody? Are you sure?

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91. Okay... well what do 'I' want in a manager?... let me see. what do 'I' want?...

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92. So now anyone gets to talk at any times?

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93. What do 'I' want?... I'm looking for someone... who... Everyone is listening to me.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45646

94. Later, man.

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95. Exactly.

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96. We need a warning signal.

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97. We do.

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98. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

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99. I know! It's alphabetical.

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100. Warning! Warning! Warning!

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