Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 12)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 12 of 18

1. What don't you understand about the word approved? It seems some of you don't know what the word approved means.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43315

2. I have very little patience for stupidity.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43316

3. Mean but good!

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43382

4. Hey, your life is so insane! You should write a book!

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43386

5. I do know how to read though!

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43388

6. He's right. I mean, I could lose some weight.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43390

7. I got a lot of numbers here to put together.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43499

8. That's silly. If anything, I should be apologizing to Packer. Because we all know I can dish it, as good as I can take it.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43501

9. Well, like I said, I wasn't offended, but I'll stand here for the big show.

   Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43504

10. Woah, I love her. How much for that?

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43601

11. 200

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43605

12. 45

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43608

13. Damn it.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43610

14. Yea when I was a kid I was on Dallas.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43629

15. Yea. When I was kid we missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii... I was in heaven.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43631

16. Yea.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43635

17. Nice.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43721

18. No you cant do that. You cant play a black mail card and call a proxy meeting in the same turn.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43723

19. no this card is from the wrong game this is from the game of life.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43728

20. No but that's not fair.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43733

21. Hey guys it's my turn.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43788

22. Yeah I told you, you can't shoot people.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43790

23. This is stupid and I want my money back. Where's the money?

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43792

24. Ok you know what? I am never ever playing board games with you two again.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43794

25. And that is Dallas.

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43795

26. That's awesome!

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43857

27. All of us?

    Season 7 · Episode 18 · Quote 43861

28. Nope! It's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone! Equally handsome, equally smart!

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43923

29. Burnt! It's lush, dummie. Hey, Deangelo, what do you think of bald people? I hate them.

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 43975

30. Interesting.

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 44049

31. Awesome!

    Season 7 · Episode 19 · Quote 44071

32. Nice!

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44154

33. Yes! I love banter. But I hate witty banter.

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44172

34. Hi!

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44224

35. I brought them from home! Do you have a red?

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44289

36. Oh really? [camera shows that Kevin has drawn a house on the tablecloth.

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44291

37. For birthdays!

    Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44351

38. Oh!

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44466

39. Oh...

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44468

40. Better...

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44470

41. But...

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44472

42. Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now.

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44474

43. Sounds beautiful!

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44504

44. I'm going to!

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44506

45. Finally! That old shredder sucked.

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44512

46. Yeah, it won't shred magazines.

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44514

47. I know...

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44516

48. No, it's just... that old shredder sucks. Just get one that'll shred magazines.

    Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44518

49. This all sounds great to me. But I could see how some people might think that they're bad. I don't know what to think.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44709

50. Jim only says that because he's in the inner circle. I also say that because I am also in the inner circle. Did you get that, Ma? Your boy, Kevin Malone, is IN the inner circle! Which doesn't exist.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44736

51. Yes!

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44745

52. Yeah, I say we just go for it!

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44747

53. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44753

54. Oh, I think it's 18 hundo.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44798

55. Didn't drop a single ball!

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44812

56. Hot!

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44836

57. That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. Deangelo, she can get really bitchy. Kevin...

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44845

58. Jim, you coming?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44877

59. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44879

60. Whoa.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44920

61. Yes! Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Quote 44947

62. One...

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45024

63. No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight!

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45028

64. You could put a banana in it.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45072

65. In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45074

66. Put back everything in the vending machine except the fruit.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45133

67. Put everything back in the vending machine except... the fruit.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45135

68. What the is that? Oh, my...

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45145

69. Hey, Dwight, gimme a back massage.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45165

70. My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45167

71. Hey, Jo!

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45169

72. No, under the jacket.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45171

73. I don't feel anything.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45173

74. Push harder, Dwight.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45175

75. Go a little higher. There you go. Nope, higher. Higher.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45177

76. Knead it. Knead it like a pizza.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45179

77. Don't eat it.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45181

78. Another one?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45209

79. Thank you.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45216

80. Nice.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45218

81. Oh, I hit three. I hit three.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Quote 45220

82. Um... Business!

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45230

83. The Botanical Gardens, Scranton's hidden gem. Don't eat any berries you don't recognize.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45288

84. Yeah! Tell us a story.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45353

85. Okay, but if Angela can get a gay man to marry her, maybe I could get a lesbian to marry me? Huh? Huh? That's hot.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45514

86. We don't tell her.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45519

87. Look at the puppet! Hi, puppet! Who are you?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45585

88. Yeah. Low blow, puppet.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45587

89. It's good. It's just that I wish the puppets would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me... but, if any kids are watching... A, B, and so forth. You know,... M-N-L-O, P... F...

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45589

90. Do you mean it? Anybody? Are you sure?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45640

91. Okay... well what do 'I' want in a manager?... let me see. what do 'I' want?...

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45642

92. So now anyone gets to talk at any times?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45644

93. What do 'I' want?... I'm looking for someone... who... Everyone is listening to me.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45646

94. Later, man.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45674

95. Exactly.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Quote 45685

96. We need a warning signal.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45780

97. We do.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45782

98. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45784

99. I know! It's alphabetical.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45833

100. Warning! Warning! Warning!

     Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45839