Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 7 of 18

1. Yeah, you said affected by it. Thanks again, Meredith.

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2. Whoo-hoo!

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3. Hot tamales.

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4. Uh oh.

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5. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it, and stopped right away.

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6. Because I wouldn't want an innocent person, who doesn't know anything about the form... What?

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7. How about, 'I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?'

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8. We're not listening.

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9. Oh come on, man! Believe in something.

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10. Not at all.

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11. She looks like a monster.

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12. That is not the question.

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13. Yeah, thank you Phyllis.

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14. Five. Five to five.

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15. So what do we do now?

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16. The debate is whether she is hot.

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17. Huge difference. A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.

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18. Are you serious? Jim, just show us a picture.

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19. He's making all these fancy, uh, it's a gut thing.

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20. No, it's is she hot, not would you do her. Respect the game.

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21. Ladies and gentlemen, even though the penis was fake, I was expecting a second plot twist where we found out Hilary Swank was a boy.

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22. Wait, what?

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23. This is ridiculous.

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24. It's out in the hall.

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25. I can't keep doing this forever.

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26. Call it.

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27. I would want to live with no legs.

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28. Michael, I think you're what's stressing everybody out.

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29. Oh my GOD... Oh man... Ohhhhh my God...

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30. He is so dumb that he tries to put his M&Ms in alphabetical order.

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31. I'm almost done.

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32. I didn't eat lunch. I didn't eat all my lunch.

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33. It... yeah.

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34. Wait, you didn't give it back?

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35. Any cat, you mean.

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36. Why would we-

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37. Is that what I think it is?

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38. [gasps]

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39. That one ugly cat is humping Princess Lady!

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40. No way.

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41. Oh, the other one's watching.

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42. [snickers]

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43. This is getting weird.

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44. Ohhh...

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45. I was looking at pictures of food on my computer.

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46. Ooh- can she pick a half hour of each?

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47. Oh, then pick TV.

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48. No, watching TV at work is really cool.

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49. For a rainy day.

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50. I miss Stacy.

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51. I can't even imagine.

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52. Was he in to you in like a gay way?

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53. A week later a friend of mine calls me up, and he says 'I just saw him in a gay bar in Kansas City.'

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54. My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said 'Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!' and she said that we're done.

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55. Hello.

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56. I'm from here!

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57. Thank you, Michael.

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58. At the Circle Drive-In they show old movies. It's really cool.

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59. I used to go there with my fiance. Before she left me. No, I mean, before I left her. She left me.

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60. I think I blew it. It all happened so fast. So... fast.

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61. Hey, I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. Seriously, feel how sweaty my hand is.

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62. Are you on email?

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63. Cool. Bye.

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64. Good Valentine's.

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65. I think I should call her.

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66. Why is it so bad for me to call and ask her to lunch today?

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67. But I do like her just the way she is.

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68. Andy, Pam, and Jim are all telling me how to deal with this girl that I like, Lynn. I, I don't like getting advice from more than one person at a time. I'm a textbook over-thinker.

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69. You guys are throwing a lot at me.

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70. Right.

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71. Like that?

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72. Lynn, I'm just gonna say to you everything that I am thinking.

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73. I think you have the best smile. I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie.

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74. Nice. Boobs.

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75. Ni-

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76. Hey!

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77. Michael?

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78. I just realized that I used the 2008 calendar to do the spreadsheets for January and February. I may need to come in this weekend to fix it.

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79. Ok.

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80. That he's wasted 15 years of your life?

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81. Michael is that scotch?

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82. Pam?

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83. When will the new copier be ready?

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84. You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.

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85. Soon could mean anything. Soon could be 3 weeks.

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86. Sometimes.

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87. Oh!

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88. I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He's a good guy. And he's super funny. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before he goes. He's all the way over there.

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89. I think he's singing.

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90. Michael, why is it that you asked everyone except me, Angela, Creed, and Meredith?

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91. But you didn't want to start with us?

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92. Phones?

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93. Oh, right. Thanks. Dunder Mifflin, this is Kevin. Please hold while I transfer you. Oscar, your mom!

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94. Please hold. Andy! Phone call.

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95. Yeah, I wrote it on my hand... but then I washed it.

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96. Okay. Andy, get ready. Transfer. Extension. Transfer.

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97. Oh, man!

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98. Hold it.

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99. This is Kevin. Please hold and I will transfer you.

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100. Just... don't answer that call!

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