Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.
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I'm going to enjoy this.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36458
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I'm still enjoying it.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36460
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Turn the trash. Turn the trash.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36462
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No, dear god, no, it's in the trash can. In the kitchen.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36465
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What -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36468
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Um, tonight is Ghost Whisperer. So, Friday.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36473
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Yeah. When we walked in here, we were all prepared to tell you to go to hell.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36558
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36676
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Oh, I missed you so much.
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36678
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36680
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Waaah!
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36682
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When a new mom hears a baby cry, her you-know-what's fill up with you-know-what, and then her shirt gets, you know... that would be funny.
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36683
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Waaaah! Waaaaah! Mommy!
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36747
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36933
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This isn't funny. I don't talk like that.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 36944
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No. I won't say it.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 36946
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Angela, this is inappropriate.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 36959
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Yeah, haha. Tray of cookies. I'm not falling for that.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 36999
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Man, Darryl, I'm sorry. Happy Birthday.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37001
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They're making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they're making fun of me.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37004
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Oscar, did you eat some of my M&M's? The level...
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37005
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Thank you. It really makes me self-conscious about my voice.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37007
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I'm not crying.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37009
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Do my hands feel sweaty to you?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37011
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Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37014
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Erin, you know, if I had been engaged to anyone before you, I would've told you.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37115
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So if you need anything, I'm right over there.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37117
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C' is for suspension.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37125
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Uh guys, I'm now going to apologize for the mess that we're in because corporate told me to. I just want you to know that I laugh like a crazy person.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37177
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Ciao' Right? 'Ciao. I say Ciao because I'm fancy from Tallahassee.'
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37180
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I made the most brilliant retaliation video. It's awesome.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37196
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But Oscar is an accountant, and the Count counts numbers.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37200
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But the Count is purple and Oscar wears purple.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37204
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Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37206
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Look at that. She's totally flirting with him.
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37334
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Like that?
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37339
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Yeah, Michael, here's a trick. Ask her if she wants a mint. If she says 'no,' then she is not interested.
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37355
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Yeah, now you know how I feel sitting next to those M&M's all day.
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37388
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Well, why don't you shut up!
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37390
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I think it's over, man.
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37395
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Michael, how did it go?
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37455
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Ooh.
Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37531
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That's hilarious.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 37901
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Boi-oi-oi-ing
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 37904
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Wow. That is crazy.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 38095
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Yeah. That's pretty bad.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 38104
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That is a dangerous game, friendo.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 38108
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Why not your condo?
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 38148
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No.
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38188
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Jo, I think that I know what happened.
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38190
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Well, now I think I might not.
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38192
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Wait, are they searching all our computers?
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38223
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No, that's cool. Sometimes... sometimes I run. I'm a runner.
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38225
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Well, I think that the real question is: Who is the whistleblower?
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38364
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No, it does not!
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38398
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Well, what if you're cold?
Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38447
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Wait, soy ice cream? Did you get real ice cream?
Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38530
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Oh, yeah. This'll be easy. So just, like, rearrange the buttons and stuff.
Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38573
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Yeah. Let me take a look at the circus board.
Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38575
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That was awesome!
Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38618
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I know how you got it.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39205
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Michael come on. A cold sore is herpes.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39207
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I never seen herpes on you.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39211
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You have a penis?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39213
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Michael, you're at least forty six!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39218
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It feels unbelievable!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39342
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...unbelievable.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39344
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It feels amazing!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39347
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Yes.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39349
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Just admit that your baby was a mistake.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39360
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You got it! Lance Armstrong's Bike!
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39482
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Nice.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39485
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I could sing it.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39667
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But my voice is unique. Like Bob Dylan.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39669
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He's like a better-looking Andy.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39782
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Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39809
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Oh, nice!
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39815
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Or the me that stinks.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39821
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Sun's in her eyes, tongue full of flies. Would you like to share my paaaaaaad?
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39850
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Your mama mighta said that bullfrogs are dogs, but I'm here to tell you that I am a frog! Come and sit on my log, you little pollywog.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39854
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Croak!
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39858
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Nice.
Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39861
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Satchel!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39866
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The statement that I am making, Oscar, is that I kind of look like Michael Moore.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39878
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You own a bar?
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39925
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I don't think that she would leave Jim for Danny.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39932
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I am never gonna forget what Danny did to Pam. I forget nothing. I'm like an elephant in that way.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39948
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Yeah, and everyone else is gonna be there. Stanley, Phyllis, Angela, Darryl... Creed's a maybe.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39950
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Okay, well then, uh, I mean, maybe we could do it like... next Halloween.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39983
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They're really upset about the whole Danny situation.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39989
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Yeah, but wait, don't tell them that we said anything to you.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39991
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Or you're dead.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39993
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Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39995
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I am so sorry.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40008
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I just thought-
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40010
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Well, Gabe asked me if there were any really cool Lady Gaga moves that he could do for the catwalk. And so then I tol-[tries not to cry]
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40012
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I told him that there was this one cool move where she powers down like a robot.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40014
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Okay? But I- I am so sorry that I didn't tell you first.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40016
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You think that I would let this happen again?! NO WAY JOSE.
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40018
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you, Gabe!
Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40020