Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 5)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 5 of 18

1. Are you kidding me?

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 16988

2. Who's we, you and Jim?

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17017

3. Oh, I bet Jim goes too.

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17019

4. Oh, I bet you ask?

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17021

5. I bet you were.

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17023

6. What

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17026

7. Whoa!

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17097

8. [applauds]

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17104

9. Oh well, if they aren't together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they'd be good together, like PB&J. Pam Beasley and Jim. What a waste. What - A - Waste!

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17216

10. Michael?

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17230

11. You cannot make me run.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17232

12. It is not a real charity. It's stupid Michael, and I'm not gonna do it.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17234

13. You didn't run for me...

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17236

14. ...when I thought I had skin cancer.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17238

15. No.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17240

16. I just don't want to run. I didn't bring my sneakers or my clothes.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17242

17. Back off me.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17395

18. That seems early, even for her.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17468

19. That'd be DUI.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17474

20. I'll always remember Meredith's back. That's all I can see from my desk. All that red hair, over a nice strong back. Sometimes I pretend it's Carrot Top, and he's going to turn around and tell a joke.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17486

21. I knew it!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17557

22. Fire!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17615

23. You weren't here for that.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17621

24. When he started the fire.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17623

25. Little old man boy.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17625

26. Bearded man boy.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17628

27. No way!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17916

28. Yeah, later dude.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17920

29. Oh, Jim! How awesome is Ryan now?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17922

30. What does that mean?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17924

31. Tuna Tuna Tuna.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17927

32. And he can get any girl that he wants.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17929

33. Tuna. Check you later.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17931

34. Hi, Creed, what's up?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18138

35. What do you mean?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18142

36. Wha...

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18146

37. Dude, you gotta believe.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18154

38. That was so awesome.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18160

39. Isn't 7 pm a little late for a lunch party?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18221

40. Maybe you could just change the U into an A.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18228

41. Wait! Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18461

42. No, no.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18463

43. Oscar, talk to him.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18466

44. Oh no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18473

45. We think it's a straight forward kidnapping.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18514

46. What's going on?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18561

47. We're getting hungry out there. We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. We would like to order some good pizza, from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe, while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18564

48. Good pizza.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18583

49. Different stuff.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18585

50. I guess he wanted to get out of here before the cops find out.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18610

51. I'm a little mad, that I don't get to go to the party in New York. But that's mostly just because we get reimbursed for gas mileage.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18717

52. Kidnapping is the asportation of a person against the person's will, so Michael asported him. Have you ever been aspor...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18725

53. In every good hostage movie, during the part where it gets really tense, and you don't know whether the bad guys are going to let the hostages go free, the cops order pizza.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18729

54. The bar uses an applause meter. That is why it's so important that you all come and applaud only for my band. Scrantonicity 2. NOT Scrantonicity, which I am no longer a part of. Michael, can I count on you?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18811

55. Dammit.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18813

56. I know what's right, but I'm not gonna say, because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18997

57. I don't know.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18999

58. I do gamble Michael.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19042

59. The mob.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19044

60. [shakes head no]

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19046

61. Yeah, women be shoppin'.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19057

62. Shh.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19061

63. True, it's best to hide our money problems from women.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19073

64. I still do not have your reimbursement check.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19254

65. Hi.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19257

66. Mama Bear!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19336

67. I kind of know what it's like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19397

68. Michael, that was fun.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19506

69. Damn it!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19749

70. Damn it!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19752

71. Yeah, I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20064

72. Oh, I'll take 'em.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20099

73. You never call back.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20170

74. About what?

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20260

75. Are you sure he wants me? Because I have Oscar balance my travel receipts.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20262

76. Oh, awesome!

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20264

77. I will quit. As God as my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20806

78. Hurts like hell.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20808

79. If I had someone to set you up with Michael, then I'd take her for myself.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20833

80. Nope. Stacy broke up with me.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20835

81. Not anymore.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20837

82. It's a bitter situation.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20839

83. No, thirty.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20864

84. Yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20866

85. Nice.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20870

86. Michael, please he--

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20873

87. We need to assemble the five families.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20915

88. We have to.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20917

89. The five families are the five companies of Scranton Business Park. The bosses rarely meet. There's Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Paul Faust of Disaster Kits Limited. They call him 'Cool Guy Paul.' W.B. Jones of W.B. Jones Heating and Air. Grade A Bad Ass. And Bill Cress of Cress Tool and Dye. Bill Cress is super old and really mean.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20918

90. I'm calling the meeting anyway.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20920

91. I... have... things...

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20946

92. We want our parking spaces back!

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20950

93. W.B. Jones' construction guys park in our parking spaces every morning and some people have to park really far away and walk all the way to the office. And some people sweat too much for comfort and---

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20952

94. After Stacy left, things did not go well for awhile. And, and it was hard to see... It's just nice to win one.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20957

95. We did it.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20988

96. We got our spaces back.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20990

97. Later.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21202

98. Way to go, man.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21259

99. Oh God.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21297

100. Jim, how long? I have to go to the bathroom.

     Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21411