Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office | Page 4

Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13745

Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13772

Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13884

Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13886

No this is not our first wedding. This is the THIRD wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding and our guitarist's wedding.

Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13936

Attention, everyone. Attention, please. I am supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old and has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It is a very serious situation. Roxanne. You don't have to put on your red light.

Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13937

My tire blew out on the way here, Michael.

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14006

I almost died. I... I went into this skid---

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14008

...What?

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14010

I almost died.

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14012

Wow.

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14016

I... am a hero!

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14113

Your name looks really nice.

Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14250

Is everything ok, Michael?

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14272

Hey Pam.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14338

Oscar. Angela.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14340

Yeah.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14350

It's complicated. I would appreciate some space on this.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14352

No, it is definitely under one of these hands.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14429

No, it is here.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14431

Good thing you didn't listen to me.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14433

Oscar, Angela? I didn't think you guys would come.

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14564

Because of reasons...

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14566

Are there carbs in vodka?

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14567

Sup?

Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14572

Later, Jim.

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14608

Man, I cannot believe I missed the fight.

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14652

You're wearing a woman's suit?

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14734

Who makes it?

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14737

Karen, how do you feel that Roy tried to kick your boyfriend's ass over another woman?

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14756

Michael, here's the, uh, $15 I owe you.

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14807

Yeah. I heard you might need it. So...

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14809

Jim--- Roy--- Look out!

Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14889

Five bucks says it's over 50.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15007

Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15010

Damn...

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15014

On what?

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15017

Nice.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15019

Long johns? A shaw?

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15043

Ten.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15071

That is lame.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15078

Oh, geeze.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15082

Damn it.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15086

That is not fair. He has spent hours up here at reception with you.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15089

No, constantly. Like, for

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15091

Ryan, well done. Two minutes, forty-two seconds. Additionally, Pam, you win ten because she said 'awesome' 12 times, and Jim, you win five because she mentioned six romantic comedies.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15115

Here you go.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15128

Okay, I'd like ten bucks on those odds.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15201

If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15202

They are the worst. Who's this Drew chick?

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15248

[pours the last of the coffee into his mug]

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15252

I'm sorry.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15254

Well, would you like a cup of no coffee? 'Cause that's what we have.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15256

Are you going to beat me up?

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15258

See this is why you always take ten thousand to one. You never know.

Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15337

Oh! Can I be Australian, mate?

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15402

'ello, mate!

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15404

I like ice cream too, mate. Alligators and dingo babies.

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15406

Sir, yes, you have a valid point. I'm sorry. No, I am

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15464

Eleven.

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15554

Yeah, well at least I didn't suck at customer relations. Oooh, yes. Facial.

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15556

Oh, but you still said 'I'm sorry.'

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15561

Still said it.

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15563

Ooh, can I be a pirate?

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15611

If cartoon characters didn't have sex, then how would we get new cartoon characters? From the sex!

Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15673

I'm guessing not.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15781

Yes, Andy. Then the fashion models could come here and work with me.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15851

Hey, Jim. You wanna go in the women's bathroom?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15883

You aren't curious?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15885

Yeah, but... it's every guy's fantasy.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15887

Yeah. I'm going in.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15889

Oh... my... God.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15891

Yes.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15903

This is so great, huh? We should do this much more often.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15960

You're in here.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15963

OK.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15965

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

Season 3 · Episode 22 · Line 16120

And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression. Said, 'If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.' You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Season 3 · Episode 22 · Line 16121

Are you going to try it?

Season 3 · Episode 22 · Line 16283

Angela, it is a million degrees.

Season 3 · Episode 22 · Line 16285

Why don't you go Michael?

Season 3 · Episode 22 · Line 16299

Oh, I'm out of it. Let's face it, the hot dog-eating contest was my best shot.

Season 3 · Episode 22 · Line 16420

Hey.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16450

What's different about you? You look worse.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16452

So Jim, who do you think is hotter? Pam or Karen?

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16507

Pam is taller.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16509

Yes. She has bigger breasts, too.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16511

I think Karen has a prettier face.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16513

Well I mean Pam's face is really pretty too. It's a very tough call.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16515

Yeah.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16517

Will do.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16519

Do you think it's gonna to be weird working with Jan in New York?

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16531

What?

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16536

Yeah, Michael you should never sell your condo...

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16541

I love fake boobs. Often times, you find them on strippers.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16639

Karen. She looks corporate. Those little pants suits.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16756

Do we have to?

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16768

Trees.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16785

Forest.

Season 3 · Episode 23 · Line 16787

Are you kidding me, Pam and Jim are totally hooking up. All they do is smile; they're just keeping it a secret. Right?

Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 16986

Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 4)