Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 3 of 18

1. May he rest in pieces. You know, because there's, like, two pieces of him.

   Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10550

2. No.

   Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10552

3. Not really.

   Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10566

4. No.

   Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10570

5. My feet do not smell. Angela knows that hyperhidrosis is a medically diagnosed condition.

   Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10580

6. Hey! Hey!

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10746

7. Account...? Michael, what is going on?

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10763

8. Night, Pam.

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10776

9. Shoot.

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10899

10. Are you guys going to this Indian thing tonight?

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10933

11. Oooh. Do you mean like, is Pam going?

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10935

12. She looks like Pam from the neck down.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10951

13. This is the best meeting we've ever had.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10975

14. Stop it. It's a disease! I've told you.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10996

15. Nice outfit.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11001

16. For Diwali 07, you must consider Scrantonicity. For a fraction of the cost of this DJ, you could have the rocking sound stylings of a Police cover band.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11162

17. No, okay, well, let me send you a demo, and... Better yet, I'll give Kelly the demo, and she can give it to you. It'll save us both on postage.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11164

18. Excellent.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11166

19. Well, some of us are fired and a few are going to Connecticut.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11262

20. Where are we going?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11348

21. How about Cugino's?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11350

22. How 'bout Cooper's then?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11352

23. But, I don't want to go to DJ's.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11354

24. Hooters?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11357

25. Yes!

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11367

26. Hey Pam, we're going to Poor Richards. Creed's buying shots.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11411

27. All right.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11413

28. Cool.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11415

29. Hey Ryan, you coming?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11419

30. Awesome. Let's go, Phyllis.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Line 11421

31. Michael, I didn't get a gift bag.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11525

32. Can I have your pencils?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11529

33. Oh, yes I can.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11595

34. In general, they do not give me much responsibility. But they do let me shred the company documents. And that is really all I need.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11596

35. This thing is so awesome. It will shred anything. Ooh! It will shred a CD. It will shred... a credit card. It will shred... oh! Shoot.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11627

36. The beef is poisoned?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11661

37. Staples.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11905

38. Hey, man. Good. Listen, my M&M's are under the desk if you want any.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11936

39. Hidden from them.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11938

40. See you later, Jim.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11942

41. It's his first day back.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11944

42. I like it.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11946

43. Kevin Malone.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11977

44. What's that on your shirt?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11979

45. The Penguin.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11981

46. Okay, Penguin.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11983

47. Michael, have you met the Penguin?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11987

48. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 12000

49. Well... I... Hey. You've never met me before.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 12002

50. Well, thanks. I appreciate that.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 12004

51. You know who I really like? That guy, Andy.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 12006

52. Hmm.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12067

53. Andy.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12069

54. Hmm. Martin?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12071

55. Wait, why am I a racist?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12073

56. He is black... right? And...

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12075

57. Yeah!

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12078

58. I wonder what he did.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12081

59. Cool.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12085

60. I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12132

61. You got outdoors time?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12135

62. Michael, why don't we get outdoors time?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12137

63. I would so rather be in prison.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12148

64. Hey! Let us out of here! Hey! I have--

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12216

65. The tires look pretty worn.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12268

66. That's not fair.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12347

67. Hey.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12407

68. Then why are there two flyers?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12420

69. Right.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12422

70. I didn't see where it was.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12425

71. I think I'll go to Angela's party, because that's the party I know.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12488

72. I hear Angela's party will have double-fudge brownies. It will also have Angela. Double fudge... Angela... double fudge... Angela Hmmm...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12533

73. Don't push it.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12535

74. You've got to be kidding!

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12577

75. I want you to know. That I'm happy for you. I wish nothing but...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12608

76. And I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It's not fair, to deny me of the cross I bear that you give to me. You, you, you, you, you, you, you oughta know ta know.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12614

77. Right.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12644

78. Dude, you should know.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12649

79. I think I'll go to Angela's party, because that's the party I know.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12726

80. Already sent it to you my friend.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12868

81. Jan.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12928

82. Hi Jan, you look... tan.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12964

83. Yeah. How was it?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12966

84. What am I going to do? I'm gonna hang it up at home. I don't have a lot of art.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12989

85. But, Michael, Buvon gets to go parasailing every day, and that's fun.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13022

86. You look like you have the munchies.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13031

87. I should be turned on. But, last year, remember, I had that skin cancer scare, and so now all I can think is that I hope she was wearing sunscreen. God, I would love to rub some on her.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13053

88. Oh, so you've been to a real luau.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13090

89. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13092

90. Angela.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13122

91. That was a voicemail that corporate left last night. They did not get our tax forms. Did you send them?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13124

92. Are you sure? It is a big deal.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13126

93. ... Do you really not know? Because it is a big deal.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13128

94. How much did you win?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13256

95. I won $400 bucks on the Celtics game last night.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13258

96. Thanks, so sweet.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13260

97. Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your gay-cation?

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13389

98. Yeah? I thought of it like, two seconds after you left.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13391

99. Can I join too?

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13411

100. Okay. The game is no limit deuce to seven lowball. Lines twenty five fifty, nickels are worth ten, dimes twenty-five, and quarters fifty. Nothing wild.

     Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13743