Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 15)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 15 of 18

1. Nice.

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51118

2. When that went up there, I had hair like Rapunzel.

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51124

3. I just remember pushing aside my silky bangs to say, 'Look, a balloon.'

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51126

4. oooh

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51134

5. Huh. Yeah, that's weird. He's usually here by now. Right guys?

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51173

6. Hot tub party?

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51211

7. I do. Come on everyone...

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51352

8. Come on Jim, you're killing her!

   Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51356

9. None taken.

   Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51418

10. Shh, here she comes!

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51582

11. You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it. Like a salad bar, Robert. How do I get this taste out of my mouth?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51655

12. Welcome home.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51709

13. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51712

14. Thank you. Nellie was nice enough to give it to me. She's sweet. I just wish there was pockets.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51714

15. Get lower.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51740

16. Dwight couldn't get it up for Nellie?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51842

17. Tip-top shape.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51856

18. Ooh, ooh!

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51881

19. Yeah. Man, you're insane right now. Ravi's the whole package.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51910

20. Yeah, man, he's absolutely gorgeous! Please leave her alone.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51920

21. because he fired you which means apparently you're living in your car now.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52029

22. Wait, what? You're going to the fundraiser tonight? That's going to be weird.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52032

23. It's going to be super weird, he just fired you last week.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52034

24. Hey, I hear you! I hope you're right. It just seems like it's going to be really, really weird.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52036

25. Oh man, this is weird!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52049

26. Creed, I just bid twenty dollars on six Jiu-Jitsu lessons. No one's raping this guy!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52053

27. No! It was my idea to not be raped!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52055

28. Whoa, Dwight, I don't think you understand.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52057

29. So Dwight doesn't understand silent auctions. I guess he's the stupid guy in the office, huh? Up till now, we didn't have one!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52059

30. I'm sorry, are you guys nuts? He's not doing great! He was fired! This is terrible! This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to you, not the best.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52192

31. No. No he's not.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52202

32. You're welcome!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52204

33. Sometimes I feel like every one I work with is an idiot. and by sometimes I mean all times. All the times. Every of the times!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52205

34. My dog Ruby doesn't do anything, she just lays there all day! She's so chill.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52208

35. Well I put out Pro Bow-Wow, but she barely touches it. She's so dainty!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52210

36. Doesn't really poop. It's perfect, nothing to pick up! She just kind of lies there all day like a good girl. I put on the TV for her, but I have to prop her eyes open so she can see it.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52212

37. She smells horrible. It's unbelievable. But I don't want to put her in the bath, because I'm afraid that she'll drown.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52214

38. People seem awful interested in you Ruby. Guess they're just jealous, right! Yeah, that a girl, that a girl! Man that stinks!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52215

39. The branch closed. Forever.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52275

40. Hey, Robert, that guy, he looks just like you. Ooh!

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52520

41. Wait, C-R-A-Z...

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52595

42. Even I know that's weird.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52703

43. Oh, what a summer! An emotional roller-coaster. I ran over a turtle in the parking lot, but then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. But I'm not that good at puzzles.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52803

44. So I patched him with stuff from around the office. But I couldn't get the pieces to fit right. Then one day, when I was reaching for the glue, I crushed his shell again. But I rebuilt him even better that time. But it turned out the turtle was already day. Probably when I ran over him the first time.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52805

45. The one who uses the doorbell, or the one with the Mexican hat, or the one with the rain galoshes, or the one you let go around naked?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52866

46. Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52867

47. I'll take him.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52869

48. I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle!

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52871

49. Go ahead

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52946

50. Oh, yeah! Can I spin first?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53025

51. A wheel is supposed to spin.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53027

52. Okay, that's what I'm talking about! Big money, big money! Mug duty?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53034

53. This sucks.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53036

54. Yeah, I don't think that you understand wheels.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53039

55. Oh boy! What's happening?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53080

56. Heifer's International. Listen to this. They give a poor person like, a goat or something. It's a great prank.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53085

57. What's the craziest place you've ever made whoopie?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53189

58. Totally. George Clooney.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53202

59. What is the craziest place you've ever made whoopie?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53205

60. And John Wayne?

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53480

61. Wayne Johnson? The Rock?

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53482

62. Yeah, that'you're being really mean, Andy.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53493

63. As would I.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53716

64. My name is Kevin.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53742

65. That is my name.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53744

66. They call me Kevin.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53746

67. Cause that's my name.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53748

68. Next stop pies!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53765

69. At five? That's only twenty minutes from now. The pie shop is thirteen miles away. So at fifty five miles an hour that just gives us five minutes to spare.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53767

70. Wh...

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53769

71. 314 pies.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53771

72. Well, it's the...carry the four...and...it doesn't work.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53773

73. Well now I don't even feel like pie. Wait...no it's back.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53793

74. Guys, we only have eighteen minutes left. At sixty one miles an hour we're just gonna barely make it.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53796

75. I insult you, Oscar.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53857

76. I insult you! To your face!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53859

77. Then why don't you do something about it?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53861

78. You don't have the guts. You stupid, dumb, doo doo face! Yes!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53863

79. Oh yeah. I decided that acapelca music is awesome.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54136

80. It turns out, that Pam? Really, really hates 'Monster Mash.' I mean like, never bring that song up in front of her. Even though Jim was making great points, like, in favor of the song, Pam was like, No! Hate it! Stupid!

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54146

81. That's beautiful. No, I totally get that.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54183

82. I really want to. Whatever happens, always remember that.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54185

83. What happened?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54207

84. Yeah, I think this day could get worse.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54209

85. I don't know what you're talking about.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54212

86. I... did not.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54241

87. Oh really, Angela? That's interesting. Cause I do think that I could surprise you. I think that I could surprise you..oh! I have to go to the bathroom!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54243

88. I have to go to the bathroom!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54247

89. I have to go to the bathroom!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54248

90. [Drives away waving, then screeches to a stop and runs from car]

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54249

91. Please, stop.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54280

92. Please, stop.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54282

93. I can't, it's too much!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54284

94. Yeah, Oscar's in big trouble.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54286

95. Yeah, I will be right there. Hey Oscar, what if I'm getting a promotion?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54311

96. Me too. Cause then, I would get my own office. And I wouldn't screw up your secret with Angela. I've been really worried about that.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54313

97. Hi.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54315

98. Oscar, we're in the middle of talking.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54317

99. Oh that is nice. Classy move.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54319

100. What are you doing?

     Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54321