Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office (page 13)

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 13 of 18

1. The thing that I like about Elmo is the tickling.

   Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45861

2. I knew it. I just knew, my whole life, that everyone was wrong about me. My parents, my teachers, my friends, the doctors. Everyone.

   Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45900

3. Loser. Losers.

   Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45903

4. I was looking for patterns.

   Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45946

5. Chicken piccata, side salad.

   Season 8 · Episode 1 · Quote 45962

6. Yes. Me do.

   Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45991

7. Me do it now. Go. Stop worry.

   Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45994

8. Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.

   Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45996

9. You keep think that.

   Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46006

10. Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say 'car no go', and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46007

11. Thank.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46009

12. But save time. More success.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46011

13. No me fault.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46013

14. Many small time make big time.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46015

15. See world.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46017

16. See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46020

17. Fine, fine. I'll talk normally.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46022

18. When me President, they see. They see.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46023

19. Wait, I thought she was a **** and you ******* hated her guts?

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46053

20. Well I'm just quoting you. I would never say that about her. I don't know the woman.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46055

21. This is where we go

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46093

22. It's a answer.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46095

23. There are no wrong answers.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46097

24. Don't! oh, you must think'I'm not. I'm using the fax, this isn't, no wait. I'm not supposed to represent the company. Right? There's usually an Erin here.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46121

25. So'DARRYL! A GIRL!

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46123

26. Kevin.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46126

27. No!

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46143

28. Don't talk to me!

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46215

29. For sure.

    Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46234

30. Here, I'm gonna get in my car. When I start dying, I will honk the horn three times. That means save the dog.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46320

31. Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46400

32. Damn!

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46422

33. OK, I'm not gonna make it. I'm turning back.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46466

34. Guys! When I was a kid, my sisters used to butter me up and slide me across the linoleum floor of the kitchen. Then really made them laugh.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46474

35. Yeah we move stuff and it was fun.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46476

36. Right. My mom-

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46478

37. So I found this grease. And then I remembered that you thought it was a great idea.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46520

38. I think we're ready to give thi- Jim?

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46528

39. Here...

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46557

40. Oh hey guys.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46559

41. OK Darryl, listen and then you will understand. The boxes were ruined during our first trial testing so now it's cool cause we found another use for them.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46566

42. No Jim, tell 'em what a name is.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46573

43. Senor Loadenstein. Tell 'em why it's called that, Jim.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46575

44. Egons.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46603

45. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46607

46. However it's normally done.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46610

47. Yeah Jim, why's it so far?

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46612

48. Back...

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46617

49. That looks good. Back. Whoa whoa whoa!

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46619

50. No no no!

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46622

51. Yeah, Oscar, you showed me this.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46671

52. I understand.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46751

53. I think this thing is broken.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46765

54. Andy? I think we should acknowledge the man who has led us to such a profitable quarter. To Robert California.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46782

55. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46876

56. Oh, OK. What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a blonde?

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46878

57. The gorilla from Rise of the Planet of the Apes? Huh? The one who sacrifices his life.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46898

58. It's been out for ages, man.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46900

59. Jim, put it on.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46916

60. Come on, the Three Amigos.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46919

61. I'm only scared of real things like serial killers and kidnappers. Not things that don't exist like ghosts or mummies.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47058

62. Yeah'prank

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47060

63. Why on Earth would a museum put a mummy in it?!?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47062

64. Exactly.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47114

65. Nooo!

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47145

66. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47261

67. I'm on it.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47301

68. Good thinking.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47303

69. Apparently a big client for this company, needs to know the story of how paper gets made.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47304

70. What does this mean? What does it mean!

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47337

71. Uh, the man tree puts its penis-

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47356

72. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47368

73. Guys come on. I'm right here.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47370

74. Isn't it supposed to be, 'Drive safely'?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47439

75. Yes!

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47463

76. Hey, screw you!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47603

77. We're called Kevin and the Zits.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47609

78. I have a tambourine.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47613

79. Nice guys, Robert is going to be a Zit!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47618

80. We all got to go sometime.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47623

81. Dude, you're on TV! You're the sportscaster on channel seven.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47672

82. You do that on TV!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47674

83. Guys, I've got some instruments right here.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47677

84. Yeah? Okay, this is awesome.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47679

85. Maybe we should warm up with some scales?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47681

86. Whoo!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47714

87. Mm-hmm.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47759

88. Are you serious? From Star Trek?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47761

89. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47785

90. Guys, this means they're Kevin and the Zits now.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47790

91. Yes!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47887

92. Not food and stuff.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47899

93. Oh, if you buy the picnic table then you've got to get the fire pit.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47901

94. The fire pit is a no-brainer.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47903

95. Okay.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47911

96. Well, you know how in the vending machine they have the chocolate chip cookies in the A-1 spot? They do that 'cause they think A-1's the best spot for the best cookie. But the real best spot is D-4. Right? That's where the eyes go. So...

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47990

97. Yeah. But not just the cookies, though. That was just a 'for instance.'

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47992

98. Kay, so another thing about oatmeal cookies. Who even wants them? I mean, I've seen Toby eat one, like, once, but other than that... like, forget it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47997

99. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48001

100. I don't know.

     Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48021