Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Customer service rep and pop culture authority.

956 quotes · page 3 of 10

1. Anyway, do you know who was totally flirting with Ben Franklin? Pam.

   Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13808

2. Could you scoot over? You're on my dress.

   Season 3 · Episode 15 · Quote 13887

3. I know but there was an emergency.

   Season 3 · Episode 15 · Quote 13889

4. I look

   Season 3 · Episode 15 · Quote 13890

5. Are you all right? This must be so awful for you.

   Season 3 · Episode 15 · Quote 13916

6. Well... this was supposed to be your wedding.

   Season 3 · Episode 15 · Quote 13918

7. There's no way it's fine. I'm sorry. If I was you, I would just like freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant.

   Season 3 · Episode 15 · Quote 13920

8. I can't believe you're back together with Roy!

   Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14039

9. Oh my God. You're so in love now.

   Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14041

10. Oh, art show!

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14043

11. ...Oh... yeah. Definitely... I'll be there. For sure.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14045

12. What are you doing? You'd better not hurt that little bat.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14108

13. Don't hurt that bat, Creed! It's a living thing with feelings and a family!

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14110

14. AHH! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IIIT!

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14112

15. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14187

16. I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't...

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14189

17. Hope she's OK.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14252

18. You prayed for this?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14254

19. Oh my God, when is it?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14351

20. I'm going and so are both of you. We're all going.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14557

21. I hear whispering.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14560

22. Who the hell is Ryan talking to?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14588

23. That is the bravest thing I have ever heard.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14692

24. I can. You would have left me to fend for myself. Like that time we were on the Ferris Wheel and that kid dropped a milk shake on me and you just laughed.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14694

25. Oh it was?

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14696

26. Okay, well the next time that you get scared, that you think a murderer's in your apartment in the middle of the night...

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14698

27. ...and you call me, to calm you down...

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14700

28. ...you can just call somebody else 'cause I'm not gonna do it anymore, Ryan. I'm not.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14703

29. I call you in the middle of the night to tell you that I love you!

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14707

30. You are so mean.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14848

31. Yes you do, Ryan Bailey Howard. You called me stupid.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14850

32. What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher?

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14855

33. Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14857

34. Oh, so I'm crazy now?

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14859

35. And all of a sudden, Dwight stood up and was like 'No!'

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14877

36. You should just read the report that Toby did. He took everyone's stories. Dunder Mifflin, customer service, this is Kelly. Oh yeah I could totally help you with that. Ok, let me just get the folder out. Okay, it seems here that you ordered 12,000 reams of paper. Oh, 12 reams...

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14879

37. Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15058

38. Ryan?

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15060

39. What?!

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15062

40. Are you kidding me?

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15064

41. So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four, number six becomes number five,number three becomes number two, etc, etc. And let's just say that I just sent back

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15112

42. You're such a ditz.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15114

43. Oh my God, these cookies have no flavor. How is that possible?

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15247

44. You should work out Ryan, you would look so hot.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15275

45. Screw you.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15277

46. Give me that thing, I want to try.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15312

47. I was just going to say that you have a cute butt. Oh my God I did not just say that, did I just say that? Oh my God I'm so adorable.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15314

48. This day is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15375

49. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you're not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15397

50. I know, right? Probably a lot.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15399

51. OK, Angela. I love your enthusiasm. All you need to know how to do is pick up the phone and say 'Customer Service, this is Kelly!' Except don't say 'Kelly,' say your own name. Or if you're bored, you can just make up a name. Like one time, I said I was Bridget Jones, and I talked like this for the whole conversation!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15401

52. Absolutely!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15403

53. I like ice cream! I need a boyfriend.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15405

54. OK, first, I just wanna say that you are doing

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15467

55. Ask where he's from.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15498

56. OK, great. Now tell him that it was an unfortunate error, and we're doing everything we can do to fix it, and that you're sorry.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15500

57. And you're sorry.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15502

58. Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. And rest assured your voice has been heard. Okay, I'll be thinking about you all day. Customer service, this is Kelly. Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. And rest assured your voice has been heard. Okay, I'll be thinking about you all day.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15599

59. Customer service isn't like accounting. It's not just typing numbers into a calculator and then it tells you an answer.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15603

60. Okay, or hand out checks, or whatever it is you do. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you think that people don't like you. But guess what, from now on you guys are not losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15605

61. The annex rocks. All you need to do is make sure that you make a connection with the customer. They just wanna know that you're sorry. Do that and you'll be fine. Make sense?

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15607

62. Okay, role-playing time!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15609

63. Why can't you just say you're sorry and make them feel better?

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15666

64. Well, you have to do what I say, okay? Because Michael put me in charge, even though you're old enough to be my mother.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15669

65. Well, you're fired, okay? Go back to accounting, Angela.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15671

66. Hey, Angela. I'm sorry that I said you were old enough to be my mother. I don't know why I said that. I think I might be hypoglycemic or something, but still, it's no excuse. So, I'm very sorry.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15723

67. Do you think I'm a slut?

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15725

68. Apology accepted!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15727

69. We're like best friends now!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15729

70. I'll text you!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15731

71. Bye, Angela!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15733

72. That is all I was looking for today. She got something out of my training session. I mean, she will never work in customer relations. Oh, my God, no. Never. But maybe she'll be less of a grump.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15735

73. Thanks, Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15914

74. Awesome. Um, awful, I mean. But, uh, sometimes awesome.

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15920

75. Whoa.

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15976

76. Michael, you know how to, um -change a wheel, right?

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15979

77. Hey, what's going on?

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 16037

78. [Screams]

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 16039

79. We're going to the mall. Bye Ryan, bye.

    Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 16052

80. I don't want to hit the big rock!

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16169

81. I know I'm near the big rock. I just know it.

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16171

82. I just don't want to get hit by it...

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16173

83. Can I have a turkey burger?

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16201

84. Can we just take those first two things?

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16213

85. Team U.S.A.!

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16222

86. Who's Bob Hope?

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16325

87. Oh, like Amanda Bynes.

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16327

88. She's from 'What a Girl Wants.'

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16329

89. Are you kidding? I would have never done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16524

90. Who was that?

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16933

91. What?!

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16935

92. Well, if Michael gets the job, I will be so upset, because Dwight used to have a crush on me, so if he's boss, it'll be really awkward.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16944

93. But if Jim gets it, you should be happy, because you have a crush on him, and he totally doesn't feel the same way, and then he'll be gone.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16946

94. Pam, he's just not that into you.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16948

95. No, seriously Pam, wake up.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16950

96. She looks awful.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17086

97. That's Buddhist.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17180

98. No.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17182

99. If there was a God then Ryan and I would be married by now.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17201

100. Have a seat, I'll write it down.

     Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17426