Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 9)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 9 of 69

1. You burned

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2. Oh...

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3. But you said that you went out with her this weekend.

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4. What was that...

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5. Oh!

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6. He hit the pole!

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7. It's broken right, he can't...

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8. Oh Dwight, Dwight, Ohhhhhh!

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9. He's still driving... Dwight, you forgot your bumper!

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10. So, where are you shipping your foot?

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11. So, I guess Pam and Dwight are friends now.

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12. Do you think Dwight's bein' a little weird today?

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13. And that isn't weird?

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14. Quick question: uh, why is Tom Hanks on the wall?

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15. I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.

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16. You mean today? He stepped on a George Foremen grill and he burned his foot.

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17. Uh, ok, I think we need to take him to the hospital because I'm pretty sure he has a concussion.

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18. Fine.

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19. Slowly, slowly. Let's just get to the elevator.

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20. What are you doing? What, stop...

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21. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

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22. You can't lay down.

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23. Wake up.

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24. I'm just gonna get...

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25. Just keep him awake.

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26. You don't think you should sit in the back with Dwight?

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27. Well, I think she has a kid.

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28. Come on, get inside.

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29. We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.

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30. We're going to the hospital, Michael.

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31. Oh my God, Dwight, put that down.

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32. Give the bottle to Michael

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33. Give the bottle to Michael!

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34. Will you stop?

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35. Michael stop.

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36. Michael stop.

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37. Stop

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38. It's Kurt. Wow, I am so sad that I know that.

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39. Concussion. What did you write?

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40. So you thought they meant your reason for coming to the hospital.

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41. Come on Dwight.

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42. Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim.

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43. Uh hmm, he should be fine, but, uh, they brought him in for a CAT scan.

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44. Michael went in there with him too. It's pretty sweet.

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45. Uh huh.

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46. But they shouldn't be much longer now, so we'll be back soon.

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47. Ok.

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48. Bye.

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49. I've had a Foreman grill for about six years, I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself, probably because I don't use it as a pillow.

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50. You know, that's probably not gonna last too long, you should go to a hospital and get a real cast.

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51. And doctors.

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52. I'm gonna pull the car around.

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53. Do you speak Spanish?

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54. No, I don't.

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55. Not much what's up with you?

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56. Umm, is it me or does it smell like up-dog in here?

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57. Nothin' much what's up with you?

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58. So close.

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59. Yeah. On the booze cruise I told Michael about some feelings I used to have for Pam. I had just broken up with Katy and had a couple drinks. And I confided in the world's worst confidant.

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60. Hey Michael.

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61. Remember that thing I told you on the booze cruise about Pam? That... was... personal so if we can just keep that between you and me. That would be great.

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62. Umm, hmm.

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63. Nobody.

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64. Alright. Great. Thank you.

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65. I'm going with grape.

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66. Which one?

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67. I don't know what you mean.

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68. Uh, uh, ok.

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69. I'm going to take off actually.

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70. Tony the tiger. You don't hear that much any more.

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71. Um, I had asked Michael if I could head up the Oscar investigation and he said that only Dwight was capable of handling such sensitive material.

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72. Thanks.

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73. I don't know probably just gonna eat my ham and cheese sandwich in the break room.

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74. No, that's alright, thank you though. It's, I, gotta do some cleaning, should probably stick around here.

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75. Oh, ah, no but no. You know what let's go out. That was a good idea. Let's go out.

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76. Nope we're not brothers.

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77. Can I just have the ham and cheese sandwich, thanks.

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78. Uh, I really don't want to talk about it.

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79. Um, she's easy to talk to I guess and she's got a really good sense of humor.

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80. Uh-huh.

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81. What about you?

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82. Wow, that's not what I meant.

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83. Thank you.

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84. Thanks, thanks Dana.

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85. Just you know politics, literature.

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86. Well the cats out of the bag. I used to have a crush on Pam and now I don't. Riveting.

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87. Hey.

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88. Ah, coupon for a free sandwich.

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89. It expired in August, and my cell phone charger from two years ago.

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90. Big day.

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91. Hey oh, listen, um, I told Michael on the booze cruise. It's so stupid. Um, I told Michael that I had had a crush on you when you first started here.

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92. Well I thought that, I figured you should hear it from me rather than, I mean you know Michael.

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93. And seriously, it's totally not a big deal, ok? And when I found out you were engaged, I mean.

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94. Oh you did?

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95. No, no, you saw through me, great.

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96. Oh yeah, yeah... hope that's okay.

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97. And Pam it was like three years ago so I am totally over it.

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98. Ok.

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99. Hey.

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100. Umm, what happened?

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