Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 6)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 6 of 69

1. Michael, I really didn't mean to...

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3679

2. I'm sorry?

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3681

3. Oh, you want me to be you?

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3683

4. Okay.

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3685

5. Oh, are you firing Creed?

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3687

6. We should switch seats in order to...

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3689

7. Alright. Excuse me.I'm really sorry, but I have to let you go. And it's purely budgetary. It's not personal...

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3691

8. Wow.

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3693

9. That's an overreaction.

   Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3695

10. Is this you? Are you being you, or is this Creed? Are you...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3697

11. Okay.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3699

12. Oh, hold that thought. Hold that thought.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3701

13. Michael Scott here.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3703

14. Toby? Mm hmm. I really have to take this Creed, so it was really worth...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3705

15. It wasn't me.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3708

16. Yeah, I know.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3710

17. Come on.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3765

18. That's just a figure of speech, you know? Blow your brains out? Come on. All it really means is that we're friends. Who else is she gonna talk to if I'm gone, right? I mean, if she left, I wouldn't blow my brains out. Of course, I would take that job in Maryland. Because it's double the pay, and soft shell crab just happens to be my favorite food.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3766

19. What's up, Hef?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3784

20. That is weird.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3863

21. Ok, well, you're the one who lost the desk.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3865

22. Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3867

23. I think you should retrace your steps.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3869

24. Colder... warmer... little warmer... there you go, ooh, warmer... warmer... warmer... warmer... warmer ... cold, cold, cold, back up... ooh, ooh, warmer, hot, red hot, hot, very hot.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3871

25. Hi, Dwight, um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 lb white model.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3873

26. I know.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3875

27. Uh, yeah, ream.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3877

28. Ok, thank you, gotta get back to work.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3879

29. Right, oh let me just check the pricing list. Hold on one second...

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3881

30. Umm...

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3883

31. You know what, let me give you a call right back. I'm going to uh, find it and then I'll call you back, thanks.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3885

32. Was that your mom?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3887

33. Oh, I thought it was your mom.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3889

34. Assistant to the Sensei, that's pretty cool.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3891

35. Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3893

36. Uh, Larissa Halpert.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3914

37. 117 Mount Bergin St.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3916

38. You making this up as you go along, aren't you?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3924

39. Well, at least I don't have cavities.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3926

40. Thanks.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3928

41. Hey, Dwight. As Sempai, do you think there is ever going to be a day where humans and robots can peacefully co-exist?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3935

42. No I'm not.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3937

43. Oh, that's not advice. What advice sounds like is this: umm, don't ever bring your purple belt to work because someone might steal it.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3939

44. Ok, say please.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3941

45. Please?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3943

46. Good, and it absolutely is a toy. Arigatou.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3945

47. Ok, Roy?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3950

48. Ok. Michael? Could you beat up Michael?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3952

49. Well, Dwight's a purple belt, so...

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3956

50. Uh, how did you know they were black belts?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3958

51. Sounds tough. When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, right?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3965

52. I can't. I just got a manicure.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3972

53. Just have Dwight punch you.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3974

54. You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3976

55. Are you ok? Are you sure you are alright?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3988

56. Ok, he has to be stopped. Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3991

57. Ok, I'll buy you a bag of chips.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3993

58. Obviously.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3995

59. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3997

60. Uh, Kitchen.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4010

61. Ooh, what about, uh, Dwight's dojo?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4028

62. Um, well, we are all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight. Fight... Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I'm coming, fight...

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4037

63. Wow, that is really interesting.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4043

64. Your love line- I'm just kidding. I can't see anything.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4045

65. Oh, ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4047

66. Tied up.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4049

67. What, what are you going to do? Bring it, Beesley. Bring it. Oh yeah, good move. Not such an ultimate fighter now.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4051

68. Later, Kev. Have a good weekend.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4093

69. What about Oscar? Could you beat Oscar?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4139

70. I don't know. He looks pretty scrappy.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4141

71. True. Meredith.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4143

72. Okay. Roy.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4145

73. Okay. Michael. Could you beat up Michael?

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4147

74. No. They're in the conference room.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4192

75. So this possible client they're talking about, actually a big deal. It's Lackawanna County. Our whole county. And if we get this, they may not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years. And years. Years.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4201

76. No...

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4214

77. We are doing worst first dates.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4218

78. Wait, when was this?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4222

79. I always knew Pam has refused to go to sports games with Roy, but I never knew why. Interesting.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4225

80. Is this real?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4301

81. Agent Michael Scarn.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4303

82. How long is this? Oh, Pam. Good work! Oop, wait, stop. Drawings.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4305

83. Oh, those are drawings. In case the writing didn't really put a picture in your head. And there he is, in the flesh, Agent Michael Scarn. Now we know what he looks like.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4307

84. Do we all have our copy of 'Threat Level: Midnight', by Michael Scott?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4311

85. Alright, let's get this started. I'm gonna be reading the action descriptions, and Phyllis, I would like you to play Catherine Zeta Jones.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4313

86. Oh yeah-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4315

87. Why not, Dwight? This is a movie. I mean, this is for all of America to enjoy.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4317

88. Dwight-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4319

89. Do you want to play-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4321

90. The lead role of Agent Michael Scarn?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4323

91. Inside the FBI, Agent Michael Scarn sits with his feet up on his desk. Catherine Zeta Jones enters.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4336

92. Michael Scarn takes out a nine-millimeter gun and shoots the-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4349

93. A man sitting several seats down, who has a gold face, turns to Michael Scarn. Uh... Ooh, Oscar, you wanna play Goldenface?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4353

94. Well, some of us wanna keep reading, so-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4361

95. That's actually a good idea. We'll all take a brief intermission. Hey, are you hungry?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4363

96. Yeah?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4365

97. I had plans to meet a friend tonight. Which I had to cancel. But this is cool, too. I'm not a complainer.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4384

98. Wow.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4385

99. Nice. That's excellent, because bugs love my famous grilled cheese sandwich.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4387

100. So, I guess I'll see you in ten hours.

     Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4398