Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 8)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 8 of 69

1. Improv sounds great.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5023

2. Alright.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5025

3. I think Stanley just coughed.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5027

4. Quick announcement everybody, if I could have everybody's attention. We do have wine in the kitchen, and, uh, there is beer available on the porch and despite what you might think, it's not all for Meredith and Kelly, so please enjoy.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5056

5. That's because Mark's my roommate.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5060

6. Uh hmm.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5063

7. Oh, uh, later-ish.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5065

8. Great. Just wanna let you guys know that we will be taking the tour like I promised-

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5067

9. Hey! Just in time! You wanna go on the group tour? We were just about to leave.

   Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5069

10. Well, the group tour is now leaving, then. Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things that we are gonna be pointing out to you today, you will be able to see both bedrooms and, uh, if we're lucky, maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom, who knows. I have to remind you that flash photography is prohibited and as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. I know you might want to.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5071

11. Uh, actually, I haven't talked to her in a while.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5073

12. We can talk about that later.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5075

13. See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour. It's-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5103

14. This is my desk.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5105

15. My home office, this is it.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5107

16. Ok, sure. Will do.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5109

17. Yeah, that... Yep, that feels about right.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5111

18. You know what? Let's just leave that image out of it, because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5113

19. Yeah, you don't have to, ummm. Alright, yes, that's not gonna be awkward at all.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5115

20. Oh yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5117

21. Thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5119

22. Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5132

23. Chicken, hot dog, burger.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5134

24. There is soda inside.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5136

25. Oh by the way how's your side project going?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5156

26. Really?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5158

27. Yeah, definitely didn't need help with that, but, yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5196

28. Oh?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5198

29. Uh, yeah, I guess.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5204

30. Yeah, no one can snap with their little finger.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5217

31. And in this room here, if you look closely, you will find out a few clues about who lives here. Um, he likes biking, obviously, and uh, what else? Uh, he likes tour guides, I guess. And if you're very perceptive, you'll notice that he didn't do a great job of cleaning his room. Ok, and uh, that's the tou-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5281

32. Um, thank you, Ryan, uh, I don't know, I think I made the mistake one day of telling someone that I like penguins, and here we are.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5283

33. And that's why it's on my desk, Phyllis; it means a lot to me, and now that I know it was from you, it means even more. Moving on! Uh, ok, so that's the end of the tour for now, and if you liked it please tell your friends: 'Whenever you're in Scranton, visit Casa de la Halpert'.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5285

34. So this year, for the first time ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa. And I got her this teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea at her desk. But I'm also going to stuff it with some inside jokes. Like, this is my high school yearbook photo. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. What else .. ooh. This is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two. This would take a little too long to explain, so I won't. And this is the card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5328

35. I think I did a pretty good job.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5361

36. Well, I can't tell you cause it's a secret.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5363

37. Yeah?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5365

38. Well, there's a $20 limit, right? So .. ?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5367

39. That's great. Well don't tell me who it is, cause I can ..

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5369

40. Oh, cool.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5387

41. Great. Where did you get it?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5389

42. He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number and then threw it in a bag.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5391

43. There's a little more to it.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5395

44. What is Yankee Swap?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5414

45. I thought that was called Nasty Christmas.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5416

46. Oh, shouldn't we ... I bought that specifically for Pam.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5426

47. Sure you don't want the teapot?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5463

48. Right.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5465

49. No. No. Definitely. It's ..

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5467

50. Got to be kidding me.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5470

51. Yeah, but, Michael, the point is that we all bought gifts for specific people.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5475

52. I bought this teapot for Pam, and I know she really wants it. So, can I trade you for it?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5487

53. Come on, it's a shamrock keychain. Good luck.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5489

54. Look, it has sentimental value, Dwight. Can I buy it from you?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5491

55. You don't even drink tea.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5493

56. Okay ..

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5495

57. To think that my gift for Pam will be used for that, it's a little too much to handle.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5497

58. You know, you don't have to answer calls during a party. Just thought you should know.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5542

59. But ..

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5544

60. Well, either way. This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts. Look inside.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5546

61. I didn't think you were going to get that one. I really didn't.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5550

62. Hey.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5649

63. What's up, buddy?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5651

64. Wow, that's weird. Oh, dollar for a stapler, that's pretty good.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5653

65. Who, Steve?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5655

66. Oh, there it is. J1.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5663

67. Here, you know what? You can have some nickels.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5665

68. It's time for our first quarter camaraderie event, so pack a swimsuit, a toothbrush, rubber-soled shoes, and a ski mask.'

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5672

69. So that he can have us rob a bank, and then escape through the sewers.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5674

70. Yeesh, how old is this ship?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5715

71. I'm not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you got the title right?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5719

72. Michael stands in the front of the boat and says that he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5723

73. It's not hilarious, but...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5763

74. Um, no.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5767

75. Yeah. Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5803

76. Well...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5805

77. Oh, um...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5807

78. Um... let's see, uh... The customer. Because the customer is king.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5822

79. You know what? I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5827

80. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5838

81. I don't know. Let's break up.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5840

82. What happened to you?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5852

83. Oh, right, because you announced that his ship was sinking?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5854

84. What a night.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5856

85. She was always engaged.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5858

86. That's... great. You know, to tell the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam, so...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5860

87. Yeah, I know.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5862

88. Yeah. She's really funny, and she's warm. And she's just... well, anyway.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5864

89. She's engaged.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5866

90. Huh.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5868

91. No, I really don't want to.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5973

92. Thanks, Katy. Um, didn't really prepare anything to say. We're all caught pretty unprepared with this whirlwind courtship. I guess I just wanna say that Pam is the greatest. My best friend. And she's awesome. And...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5980

93. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5985

94. Yeah, that's right.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 5992

95. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6001

96. What's going on?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6003

97. I'm sorry? Pam.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6006

98. What is going on?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6008

99. Hey, whoa, Michael...

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6011

100. It's, okay, it's Jim. Just say again, uh, really loudly what happened.

     Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6013