Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office | Page 65

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56236

Yeah, absolutely. Do people like sitting next to you? You're clean, right?

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56238

Nice. Music. Do you listen to it in earbuds? You don't listen to it at all because we're at work, not a Florence and the Machine concert, so'

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56240

Sure, yeah. Do whatever you need to do.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56242

Right after you do one thing for me. I need you to breathe in my face.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56244

I need you to breathe in my face right now.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56246

What are we working with, peppermint or wintergreen?

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56248

I knew it, I knew it.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56250

I looked at you coming around, and I said, 'Wintergreen.'

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56252

How is it my fault?

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56302

But it's Dwight who's bring in all the weirdos.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56304

Yeah, this is actually about the new sales guy. Uh, Dwight has brought in a bunch of real weirdos. And I was wondering if I could have some input'

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56308

I was just thinking that because this person is gonna be sitting at my desk, near my wife'

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56314

Oh. Um'

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56316

Okay. I can't say that that's not fair.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56318

Oh, yeah, so we'll just do that later.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56321

Uh' Well, it's about Athlead. I'm sorry. Does Dwight have to be on this part of the phone call?

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56324

There's a very exciting opportunity to be a core investor '

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56327

Yes, okay. Bye.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56329

No, thanks.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56331

Dwight, you can't just hire someone 'cause they're your friend.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56339

Ahh, I love staring off in one direction. If I'm not looking south, I'm not livin'. That's what I always say.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56376

But you know I wouldn't hire any of these all-stars.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56379

Nope. Your friends not turning out to be as great as you thought? Not even Gabor?

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56381

I knew it. You designed a uniform for Dunder Mifflin.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56383

Well, I for one, was amazed at how qualified everyone was. You?

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56385

And I gotta say, this was a tough decision. And we had to go with none of you.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56387

Well, you know, Wallace put me in charge, so you have no say.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56390

Too much now.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56392

That seems inconsiderate.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56396

All right. I think that went well.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56407

So, uh, if you just take a look at this, and then that'll print out'Hey. Meet your new desk mate.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56408

Trust me, this is the least of all evils. It took me all day to pull this off, so you should be thrilled, considering.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56411

Okay. I'm really sorry I told the guys I'd be there for the board meeting.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56413

I'll call you when I get there.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56415

All right.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56417

Take care of my wife. I will be back.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56419

No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam when I'm gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love. So, that stuff matters. Definitely does.

Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56439

Hey.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56462

We are splitting a sublet on a place near Philly.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56464

And, as much as I miss Pam and the kids, it's, uh, kinda nice to live the bachelor life again. You know, let your hair down.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56466

I'm couching it!

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56468

And this dude labels his food. He's the clean one. And, I'm the messy one. How much fun is this?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56470

Hey. So, Wade wants to send people to the Sloan conference. We gotta compile a list of our target clients.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56474

Who is this guy? We are killing it.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56476

Yeah!

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56478

Nice job, man.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56550

What? Oh, man! I'm sorry about that.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56552

Oh, um... Are you really mad about this?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56554

Oh. It's your go-to therm. Oh, man. That's a bummer. I'm sorry about that.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56556

No, no. If it's a big deal, it's a big deal.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56558

No big deal.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56560

Honestly, I don't mind. Did you want me to wash it for you or...

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56562

OK. Here ya go.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56564

Hey.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56600

Yeah. Totally.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56602

It's mine. Don't worry.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56604

I don't think you had to.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56606

I think you might be going a little crazy with this labeling thing, man. I mean, you put your name on a five pound bag of flour. Are you honestly saying that if I needed flour I couldn't use that?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56608

That's not the point.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56610

No, I'm not making bread.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56612

Darryl, it doesn't matter. I think you know the point I'm trying to make.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56614

It's all good. Are we all good?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56616

What's that cooler?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56618

Oh, crap. Were those yours?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56620

Wow. This whole Philly thing has been so much fun that I may have lost sight of what really matters. I mean, having fun is not nearly as important as being good to the people who you really care about. I mean, that's just 'Roommates 101'.

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56694

Oh. Oh!

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56696

You win. How good did that feel?

Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56698

It's like magic. Or, it's like me getting on my hands and knees and begging my partners to switch a Tuesday for a Thursday.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56701

By the way, they do need an extra day next week.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56703

They are terrible.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56735

Oh my god. That's so romantic.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56737

Oh my god. That's less romantic.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56739

Yeah, yeah. No, totally. That's good. So, should we just get a bottle of wine later and celebrate?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56741

I'm very excited to see Brian. Brian's a great guy. And Pam and I have gotten really close to he and his wife, Alyssa over the years. And he got fired for protecting my wife from a jerk in the warehouse. I'm sorry, but you know him. He's a good guy.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56743

Hey, Brian.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56759

What?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56764

Oh.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56766

Are you kidding? Thank you, man. I mean, I've wanted the opportunity to say thanks for... everything. And I'm really sorry about the job. That just seems crazy.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56769

Well, I mean, that's OK. It doesn't mean that it's over. Right? I mean, couples fight.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56805

What?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56808

Crying?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56810

I don't know. I thought that was a little weird. You told me Brian got fired for the whole warehouse thing. And you intentionally left out a kind of major, intimate detail. I don't know, Pam, I guess I just feel like a chump. Who knows less about his marriage than the sound guy.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56874

Yeah, well. Yeah, OK. Well, then thank you. Thanks to both of you.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56876

No, you're right. And, and I'm not mad at Brian. And to be honest, I probably don't have any reason to be mad at all because I wasn't there. So, let's just forget about it.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56878

You know what? Maybe we should cancel that bottle of wine tonight.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56935

Yeah. I just feel like I got a bunch of stuff to do in Philly and I'm sure you have stuff to do. So we can just... I don't know, drop me at the bus station?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56937

I just feel like we're gonna fight.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56939

So... how 'bout let's not?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56941

Oh, um. Happy Valentine's Day. Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56943

Yeah, yeah.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56945

No problem.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56947

You really wanna fight on Valentine's Day?

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56949

OK. All right, put your dukes up, Beesly.

Season 9 · Episode 15 · Line 56951

Hey! There she is. How you doin?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57113

You look great.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57115

Yeah.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57117

Ok, I know where you're going with this, and this is who I am now. I'm a douche. But look what I can do with my hands.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57119

You are gonna crush it. Wow, I missed you.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57126

Call you right back. What were you saying?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57128

Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 65)