Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 62)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 62 of 69

1. You got it.

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2. Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job I took in Philly...the side job. And she was so incredibly cool about it. And now I just wanna do something huge for her. Like if we were in some biker bar and she mouthed off to some bikers and they came lumbering over and I was like wham! Gotta go through me first.

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3. Getting my wife a week off from work.

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4. Awesome, right?

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5. Well, I don't know about the rest of you but I'm just gonna say it. I'm nervous. I have no idea what health problems this is all gonna cause.

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6. 'Side effects of EMF include: headaches...'

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7. '..breast pain...'

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8. Oof. 'Infertility.'

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9. Ah! There's my popcorn. Can you just grab that for me?

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10. What?

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11. That's impossible, cause that's a brand new bag...Oh my god.

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12. I'm gonna drive you up to the lake, give you a whole week on the water. Just you, me and the kids.

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13. You mean Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also? Yes we will be doing that. We'll be getting a dozen.

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14. Why would you say that? I meant 4 apple, 4 blueberry, 2 cherry, 1 peach and 1 chocolate. I thought that was implied.

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15. What?

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16. What?

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17. Alright, alright, gang. Let's just settle down. You're yelling in her face.

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18. Just...you good?

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19. I'm so sorry for all of this.

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20. I'll get you a napkin. Someone get napkins please!

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21. Pam, I'm really sorry. I- I'm really sorry about...all that. Really? Smirking?

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22. Hey, Dwight. I was trying to do something nice for Pam. Can you just, help me out? Can we maybe take this thing somewhere? Or do something to not make this the worst day ever?

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23. Andy!

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24. You're the boss. Don't you think we'd all be a lot more productive if while we were doing work we looked up and saw the best rural pie stand in Pennsylvania?

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25. What are you talking about? You're not the boss. Andy is. Andy?

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26. Next stop: Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also.

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27. So it looks like this work bus was a pretty good idea after all, huh?

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28. You got it.

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29. If by lately you mean the last twelve years, yeah.

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30. He's just mad that we're all having fun.

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31. He's fine. He's indestructible.

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32. Let's go driver! Laverne packs up the pie wagon at five so...

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33. OK, well I saw a station about a mile back so, chop chop.

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34. Are you kidding me? Dwight, come on!

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35. Oh no, I'm gonna push him. You know why? Because you're getting a pie. Why? Cause you deserve it. And what is he doing? He's trying to drive us all around the countryside looking for gas because he knows we won't get there. Is that what we want?!

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36. What do we want?!

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37. When do we want it?!

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38. That's impossible. Dwight!

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39. What are you doing?

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40. You know he's doing all this on purpose.

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41. Dwight? Why are you such a jerk? I am trying to do something for my wife and you keep derailing-

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42. What?

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43. Is this about the popcorn? Or the X on the ceiling? Dwight, that was a prank.

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44. No.

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45. I'll take it.

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46. Dwight, sometimes it takes couples years to get pregnant.

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47. That doesn't matter.

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48. Ok...that's not...

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49. Did you ever think that because you own the building, everyone in it, we're all kinda like your children?

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50. Well, now you have a bus full of real..bilden..kin..

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51. OK. And they're all dangerously close to not getting pie. And there's only one guy who can save them. It's not me.

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52. It's pretty good actually.

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53. We bonded. We got to-

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54. Don't..

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55. Don't..

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56. Pie! Pie! Pie!

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57. We did it.

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58. It won't budge.

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59. Cece's really into princesses now. So we decided to turn them into a positive female role models.

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60. It's Okay.

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61. Sure I am. I am... one of the Men in Black guys. Can I have your sunglasses?

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62. There's a big investment lunch today, so I decided to skip the costume.

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63. Gettin' a lot of mileage out of this, aren't ya?

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64. Are you sure you're okay with me putting in this much money.

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65. You're the best.

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66. Okay. I'll see you in a little bit.

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67. Shut up.

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68. Wow.

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69. Oh, uh, is it too late to get in?

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70. Oh, I actually talked to my wife and we'd really like to uh you know, invest - get in on the ground floor.

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71. We were thinking somewhere between five - ten thousand? I can do the full ten thousand. We should just - - all in.

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72. All right. Awesome. Cool.

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73. Oh man, it was great. They were great.

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74. I did, yeah.

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75. Uh, man, by the end I guess it was about... ten...

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76. Ten. It was the full ten.

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77. Yeah.

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78. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good thing we talked about it though, because we had to...

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79. Yeah.

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80. What is it?

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81. Um, oh man, I don't actually know.

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82. They weren't really talking that much about money. They just said, We're good with investing and then I...and I...

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83. No, no, I had to. Look, I needed to look like a team player, Pam.

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84. You weren't there.

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85. It was very clear that ten thousand was what we had...we should talk about it later.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54081

86. Pam.

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87. We'll talk about it later.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54092

88. I thought that concert was pretty great.

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89. Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing 'Monster Mash'.

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90. Uh...

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54140

91. Okay. We'll, just forget it.

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92. Because it is Halloween. So if you're going to sing a concert, it's a good idea to throw that one in.

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93. And his brother, Walt Jr., locked himself in the wine cellar.

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94. Competent.

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95. Dwight!

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96. No, you chose yourself.

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97. Yes. He is. And you know what? We cannot let that happen.

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98. See these forms...

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99. What the heck is going on?! The stock prices are plummeting! Are you gonna take control of the message or do I have to send in someone who understands the media?!

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100. Good afternoon!

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