Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 62)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 62 of 69

1. You got it.

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53597

2. Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job I took in Philly...the side job. And she was so incredibly cool about it. And now I just wanna do something huge for her. Like if we were in some biker bar and she mouthed off to some bikers and they came lumbering over and I was like wham! Gotta go through me first.

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53598

3. Getting my wife a week off from work.

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53636

4. Awesome, right?

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53638

5. Well, I don't know about the rest of you but I'm just gonna say it. I'm nervous. I have no idea what health problems this is all gonna cause.

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53641

6. 'Side effects of EMF include: headaches...'

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53646

7. '..breast pain...'

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53648

8. Oof. 'Infertility.'

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53650

9. Ah! There's my popcorn. Can you just grab that for me?

   Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53652

10. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53654

11. That's impossible, cause that's a brand new bag...Oh my god.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53656

12. I'm gonna drive you up to the lake, give you a whole week on the water. Just you, me and the kids.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53658

13. You mean Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also? Yes we will be doing that. We'll be getting a dozen.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53660

14. Why would you say that? I meant 4 apple, 4 blueberry, 2 cherry, 1 peach and 1 chocolate. I thought that was implied.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53662

15. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53668

16. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53671

17. Alright, alright, gang. Let's just settle down. You're yelling in her face.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53698

18. Just...you good?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53700

19. I'm so sorry for all of this.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53702

20. I'll get you a napkin. Someone get napkins please!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53706

21. Pam, I'm really sorry. I- I'm really sorry about...all that. Really? Smirking?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53708

22. Hey, Dwight. I was trying to do something nice for Pam. Can you just, help me out? Can we maybe take this thing somewhere? Or do something to not make this the worst day ever?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53710

23. Andy!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53712

24. You're the boss. Don't you think we'd all be a lot more productive if while we were doing work we looked up and saw the best rural pie stand in Pennsylvania?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53714

25. What are you talking about? You're not the boss. Andy is. Andy?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53719

26. Next stop: Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53723

27. So it looks like this work bus was a pretty good idea after all, huh?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53725

28. You got it.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53727

29. If by lately you mean the last twelve years, yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53753

30. He's just mad that we're all having fun.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53755

31. He's fine. He's indestructible.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53757

32. Let's go driver! Laverne packs up the pie wagon at five so...

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53766

33. OK, well I saw a station about a mile back so, chop chop.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53775

34. Are you kidding me? Dwight, come on!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53777

35. Oh no, I'm gonna push him. You know why? Because you're getting a pie. Why? Cause you deserve it. And what is he doing? He's trying to drive us all around the countryside looking for gas because he knows we won't get there. Is that what we want?!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53779

36. What do we want?!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53782

37. When do we want it?!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53784

38. That's impossible. Dwight!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53787

39. What are you doing?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53789

40. You know he's doing all this on purpose.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53798

41. Dwight? Why are you such a jerk? I am trying to do something for my wife and you keep derailing-

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53803

42. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53805

43. Is this about the popcorn? Or the X on the ceiling? Dwight, that was a prank.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53807

44. No.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53809

45. I'll take it.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53811

46. Dwight, sometimes it takes couples years to get pregnant.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53821

47. That doesn't matter.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53823

48. Ok...that's not...

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53825

49. Did you ever think that because you own the building, everyone in it, we're all kinda like your children?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53831

50. Well, now you have a bus full of real..bilden..kin..

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53833

51. OK. And they're all dangerously close to not getting pie. And there's only one guy who can save them. It's not me.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53835

52. It's pretty good actually.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53837

53. We bonded. We got to-

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53839

54. Don't..

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53845

55. Don't..

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53847

56. Pie! Pie! Pie!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53850

57. We did it.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53865

58. It won't budge.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53883

59. Cece's really into princesses now. So we decided to turn them into a positive female role models.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53893

60. It's Okay.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53896

61. Sure I am. I am... one of the Men in Black guys. Can I have your sunglasses?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53898

62. There's a big investment lunch today, so I decided to skip the costume.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53901

63. Gettin' a lot of mileage out of this, aren't ya?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53903

64. Are you sure you're okay with me putting in this much money.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53925

65. You're the best.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53927

66. Okay. I'll see you in a little bit.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53929

67. Shut up.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53932

68. Wow.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53979

69. Oh, uh, is it too late to get in?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53984

70. Oh, I actually talked to my wife and we'd really like to uh you know, invest - get in on the ground floor.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53986

71. We were thinking somewhere between five - ten thousand? I can do the full ten thousand. We should just - - all in.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53988

72. All right. Awesome. Cool.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53990

73. Oh man, it was great. They were great.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54055

74. I did, yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54057

75. Uh, man, by the end I guess it was about... ten...

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54059

76. Ten. It was the full ten.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54061

77. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54063

78. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good thing we talked about it though, because we had to...

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54065

79. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54067

80. What is it?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54069

81. Um, oh man, I don't actually know.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54071

82. They weren't really talking that much about money. They just said, We're good with investing and then I...and I...

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54073

83. No, no, I had to. Look, I needed to look like a team player, Pam.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54077

84. You weren't there.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54079

85. It was very clear that ten thousand was what we had...we should talk about it later.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54081

86. Pam.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54084

87. We'll talk about it later.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54092

88. I thought that concert was pretty great.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54135

89. Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing 'Monster Mash'.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54138

90. Uh...

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54140

91. Okay. We'll, just forget it.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54142

92. Because it is Halloween. So if you're going to sing a concert, it's a good idea to throw that one in.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54144

93. And his brother, Walt Jr., locked himself in the wine cellar.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54177

94. Competent.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54179

95. Dwight!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54199

96. No, you chose yourself.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54201

97. Yes. He is. And you know what? We cannot let that happen.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54226

98. See these forms...

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54246

99. What the heck is going on?! The stock prices are plummeting! Are you gonna take control of the message or do I have to send in someone who understands the media?!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54303

100. Good afternoon!

     Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54385