Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 63)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 63 of 69

1. Uh, this Wallace guy is lookin' at hard time. And we only know this because of what Dwight Snoot said on record!

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2. Hi, David.

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3. Go ahead David, I'm listening.

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4. I can't. I have the thing.

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5. I have this conference call today with this company in Philly that I'm helping start. Ah, first board meeting. Also, the first time I've ever been excited about work. So, that feels... wrong.

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6. Yeah, I'm here. Are we all on?

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7. Right. Okay, uh, over the next three months...

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8. I uh, I have some ideas, actually...

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9. Uh yeah. Trust me, I'd rather be with you guys.

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10. Oh, Sorry, I uh... was just saying that we should uh...

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11. Um, you know what? I.. should have just had... I should have just had you call me on my cell.

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12. I'm gonna try a different spot. Okay?

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13. Okay, I'll call you right back.

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14. What I was saying is the genius of Air Jordan was not in the market saturation, it was in --

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15. The... the... the... what I was saying is the real genius was...was in the...

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16. It was, uh in the authentic design, right? So I mean, you really felt like Michael Jordan was wearing these shoes, so ...

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17. Nobody!

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18. No, no, no.

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19. Jim Halpert.

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20. Hey man. I am so sorry about that.

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21. [laughs]

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22. Yeah. No, I know. This whole telecommuting thing -- not ideal. But don't worry. I'll figure it out.

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23. Uh, what does -- what does that mean?

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24. You got this, Beesley. Actually, do you want me to come down and help you get started?

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25. What? Yeah, right. As if.

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26. Today I will be asking David Wallace if I can start working part-time, because the sports marketing company that I started really needs me to be there.

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27. I could have prevented that. So I have to talk to Wallace.

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28. Hey David, how would you like a guy who's not here as much, gets paid the same amount of salary, and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?

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29. This is gonna be awful.

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30. I mean, I can handle any client issues from Philly.

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31. Oh, you mean handle it in person. Oh, well, Phyllis and Stanley have agree to cover for me while I'm gone.

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32. Yep.

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33. Oh, great.

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34. Because we're friends.

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35. Unfair. When's my birthday?

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36. How about this-- You let me take you to lunch, and I make my case?

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37. All right.

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38. You know, truth be told, I think all you'll really be doing is accepting calls from my clients while I'm gone.

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39. You know, at the end of the day, it's really only two days. I mean, I'll be back in the office. If you need me for an emergency, call me. I'll be there...

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40. Tell me about it.

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41. All right. You know what? Maybe we'll just... We'll go slow.

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42. Listen, I was really wondering if maybe we could lock this down before lunch is over.

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43. All right. Phyllis! Phyllis, that's-- that's decorative.

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44. Still decorative.

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45. No.

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46. Don't-- don't-- don't pole people with knives.

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47. Phyllis! Wow.

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48. Well, we're here. Perfect.

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49. Phyllis, what was that?Phyllis are you dreaming, or--

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50. This is hilarious, but we're gonna stop with all--

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51. Shuckin' the peas. You should go back to the first part, though. You are gonna cover for me?

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52. Oh, my God, thank you. Thank you.

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53. I'm having second thoughts about one of the shirts I packed. The blue one with the stripes.

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54. Well, yeah, but I'm wondering if it's too blue. Like, am I making a statement with the blueness?

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55. I am leaving early today for Philly, because tomorrow is the first day of my new job. So I figure I'd get in at 5:00, check into a hotel at about 6:00 so I can get a real good night of restless sleep and nervous puking.

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56. So you know my job has something to do with sports, but you don't know the end of the word 'Philadelphia'?

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57. Yes! That, that, that! We're definitely doing that. Are we all in agreement?

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58. Done, right?

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59. I'm not understanding the confusion. Am I the only one who wants to try hufflepuffs and schnauzerhosen, and meet this glenpickle guy?

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60. Right.

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61. We're thinking of collaborating with Mike Schmidt on some of his charity work.

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62. Whoo!

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63. Yeah, I think so.

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64. Uh--

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65. Best Christmas ever.

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66. Thank you.

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67. Can't wait.

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68. I don't know. Is it what you expected?

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69. So happy right now.

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70. Yes, he is finally nigh.

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71. So he's kind of like santa, except dirty and worse.

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72. Wow! It's my favorite part of Christmas. The authority.

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73. Oh, it's like naughty or nice.

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74. Quick question--Do you just decide who gets what in the moment, or did you make a list?

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75. Oh, nice. Did you check that list?

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76. But more than once? 'cause you could have made a mistake.

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77. Okay, so you made a list, you checked it twice, and now you're gonna find out who's--

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78. Damn.

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79. Ooh.

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80. Oh, you know what? I gotta go.

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81. Yeah, it's all right.

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82. I have to go to philly. But this was amazing. Okay.

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83. Yeah, I know, I'd just like to settle in and get a good night's sleep.

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84. Ooh.

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85. That's right.

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86. Perfect. Merry Christmas, everybody.

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87. You know what? Yeah. Have at it.

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88. Ooh! Are you nuts?

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89. Ow! Ow! Okay, that is three, and you didn't hit anybody that hard.

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90. Just--Just--Hey!

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91. That's enough, I'm done! Okay? Agh!

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92. Aah! Ow!

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93. Oh...what was that? Now I'm gonna be all whipped for my first day at work. God. One second. Oh...

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94. I'm probably never gonna see you again.

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95. Okay, sorry, sorry.

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96. Listen, thank you so much for putting that all together. That was the perfect last Christmas party. All right, wish me luck.

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97. I'll call you when I get in.

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98. All right.

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99. Love you.

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100. Yep, I did say that.

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