Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 63)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 63 of 69

1. Uh, this Wallace guy is lookin' at hard time. And we only know this because of what Dwight Snoot said on record!

   Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54387

2. Hi, David.

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54476

3. Go ahead David, I'm listening.

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54479

4. I can't. I have the thing.

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54508

5. I have this conference call today with this company in Philly that I'm helping start. Ah, first board meeting. Also, the first time I've ever been excited about work. So, that feels... wrong.

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54509

6. Yeah, I'm here. Are we all on?

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54562

7. Right. Okay, uh, over the next three months...

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54564

8. I uh, I have some ideas, actually...

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54566

9. Uh yeah. Trust me, I'd rather be with you guys.

   Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54568

10. Oh, Sorry, I uh... was just saying that we should uh...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54570

11. Um, you know what? I.. should have just had... I should have just had you call me on my cell.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54572

12. I'm gonna try a different spot. Okay?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54574

13. Okay, I'll call you right back.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54576

14. What I was saying is the genius of Air Jordan was not in the market saturation, it was in --

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54627

15. The... the... the... what I was saying is the real genius was...was in the...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54629

16. It was, uh in the authentic design, right? So I mean, you really felt like Michael Jordan was wearing these shoes, so ...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54633

17. Nobody!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54635

18. No, no, no.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54637

19. Jim Halpert.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54724

20. Hey man. I am so sorry about that.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54726

21. [laughs]

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54728

22. Yeah. No, I know. This whole telecommuting thing -- not ideal. But don't worry. I'll figure it out.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54730

23. Uh, what does -- what does that mean?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54732

24. You got this, Beesley. Actually, do you want me to come down and help you get started?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54762

25. What? Yeah, right. As if.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54764

26. Today I will be asking David Wallace if I can start working part-time, because the sports marketing company that I started really needs me to be there.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54765

27. I could have prevented that. So I have to talk to Wallace.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54767

28. Hey David, how would you like a guy who's not here as much, gets paid the same amount of salary, and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54769

29. This is gonna be awful.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54771

30. I mean, I can handle any client issues from Philly.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54792

31. Oh, you mean handle it in person. Oh, well, Phyllis and Stanley have agree to cover for me while I'm gone.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54794

32. Yep.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54796

33. Oh, great.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54798

34. Because we're friends.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54800

35. Unfair. When's my birthday?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54802

36. How about this-- You let me take you to lunch, and I make my case?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54804

37. All right.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54806

38. You know, truth be told, I think all you'll really be doing is accepting calls from my clients while I'm gone.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54887

39. You know, at the end of the day, it's really only two days. I mean, I'll be back in the office. If you need me for an emergency, call me. I'll be there...

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54912

40. Tell me about it.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54914

41. All right. You know what? Maybe we'll just... We'll go slow.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54916

42. Listen, I was really wondering if maybe we could lock this down before lunch is over.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54958

43. All right. Phyllis! Phyllis, that's-- that's decorative.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54960

44. Still decorative.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54962

45. No.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54964

46. Don't-- don't-- don't pole people with knives.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54966

47. Phyllis! Wow.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54968

48. Well, we're here. Perfect.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55036

49. Phyllis, what was that?Phyllis are you dreaming, or--

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55039

50. This is hilarious, but we're gonna stop with all--

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55042

51. Shuckin' the peas. You should go back to the first part, though. You are gonna cover for me?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55044

52. Oh, my God, thank you. Thank you.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55047

53. I'm having second thoughts about one of the shirts I packed. The blue one with the stripes.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55070

54. Well, yeah, but I'm wondering if it's too blue. Like, am I making a statement with the blueness?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55072

55. I am leaving early today for Philly, because tomorrow is the first day of my new job. So I figure I'd get in at 5:00, check into a hotel at about 6:00 so I can get a real good night of restless sleep and nervous puking.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55073

56. So you know my job has something to do with sports, but you don't know the end of the word 'Philadelphia'?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55075

57. Yes! That, that, that! We're definitely doing that. Are we all in agreement?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55092

58. Done, right?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55095

59. I'm not understanding the confusion. Am I the only one who wants to try hufflepuffs and schnauzerhosen, and meet this glenpickle guy?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55106

60. Right.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55109

61. We're thinking of collaborating with Mike Schmidt on some of his charity work.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55139

62. Whoo!

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55142

63. Yeah, I think so.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55144

64. Uh--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55148

65. Best Christmas ever.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55172

66. Thank you.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55174

67. Can't wait.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55184

68. I don't know. Is it what you expected?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55189

69. So happy right now.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55191

70. Yes, he is finally nigh.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55214

71. So he's kind of like santa, except dirty and worse.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55218

72. Wow! It's my favorite part of Christmas. The authority.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55220

73. Oh, it's like naughty or nice.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55238

74. Quick question--Do you just decide who gets what in the moment, or did you make a list?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55240

75. Oh, nice. Did you check that list?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55242

76. But more than once? 'cause you could have made a mistake.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55244

77. Okay, so you made a list, you checked it twice, and now you're gonna find out who's--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55246

78. Damn.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55248

79. Ooh.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55256

80. Oh, you know what? I gotta go.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55259

81. Yeah, it's all right.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55262

82. I have to go to philly. But this was amazing. Okay.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55264

83. Yeah, I know, I'd just like to settle in and get a good night's sleep.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55266

84. Ooh.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55268

85. That's right.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55270

86. Perfect. Merry Christmas, everybody.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55272

87. You know what? Yeah. Have at it.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55274

88. Ooh! Are you nuts?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55276

89. Ow! Ow! Okay, that is three, and you didn't hit anybody that hard.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55278

90. Just--Just--Hey!

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55280

91. That's enough, I'm done! Okay? Agh!

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55281

92. Aah! Ow!

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55283

93. Oh...what was that? Now I'm gonna be all whipped for my first day at work. God. One second. Oh...

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55285

94. I'm probably never gonna see you again.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55287

95. Okay, sorry, sorry.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55289

96. Listen, thank you so much for putting that all together. That was the perfect last Christmas party. All right, wish me luck.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55291

97. I'll call you when I get in.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55293

98. All right.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55295

99. Love you.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55297

100. Yep, I did say that.

     Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55322