Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 61)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 61 of 69

  1. That's-

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52592

  2. Okay.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52594

  3. Yeah. You just sit right here. Here we go.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52598

  4. Alright. Why don't you just-

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  5. -give him to me and... perfect.

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  6. This is great.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52604

  7. Excuse me.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52606

  8. Just do it.

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  9. Yeah, just keep your eye on Dwight, great.

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  10. Let's do it, shoot it.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52612

  11. Great.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52614

  12. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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  13. Oh, so that's it?

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  14. No, no, see? This is what we're talking about. I mean, what was that accent? And last time I checked, you were drunk and now you're not drunk...

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  15. Oh boy.

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  16. Andy, come on.

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  17. Hey.

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  18. Perhaps your year of experience managing this branch will come in handy.

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  19. You are really good at modesty. She's a genius. She painted this incredible mural in the kids' room. There's a hippo leading a parade of 500 children'

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  20. Oh, yeah

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  21. Its sports marketing basically. But the athletes are partners.

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  22. In Philly, so, that doesn't really work for the family. Watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea.

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  23. An Altima or better.

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  24. we good?

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  25. No, Pete is not the new Jim. The only we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face. And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.

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  26. Done. Explain.

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  27. Oh, now I get what Pete was talking about at the sales meeting yesterday.

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  28. The new guys called one.

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  29. Clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration. Did you know there was a belt above black?

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  30. You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect. Too easy.

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  31. You a sports fan?

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  32. Oh. Any team sports?

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  33. Phillies fan, though, right?

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  34. No, like baseball. A baseball team.

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  35. Ok. Good talk.

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  36. I have nothing in common with Plop.

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  37. Oh, come on, Pete! God, that's just sad. If he doesn't watch himself, he's gonna be here for years, doing nothing. Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.

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  38. Yeah. You know what? I'll meet you down there. Just gotta make a quick call.

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  39. Hey, man. It's halpert. Did you go to the other guy yet? Great, don't. I'm in. Yeah, yep, I'm all in. Ok, talk to you soon. Bye. Yeah!

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  40. Spinning would be more fun.

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  41. Pam, we gotta go. Cece, go back inside. Grandma's got breakfast, OK? We are going to Roy's wedding. Yep, Roy. I think the only weird thing about going to your wife's ex-fiance's wedding on a weekday at eight AM is that it's your wife's ex-fiance.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53043

  42. A banana?

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  43. Oh, come on. Not even Roy will have hot dogs at his wedding.

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  44. Just' so weird.

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  45. Is this his house?

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  46. OK.

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  47. Uh, my ex-fiance.

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  48. I started a new business with my college friend. But, Pam doesn't know. Um' actually I did tell Pam and we decided 'no'. But, then I decided 'yes' anyway. So, I'm thinking there's another conversation coming. And, it's hard to know when that will be.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53078

  49. There he is. Is it almost time to cut the pancake, or what?

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  50. Thanks for inviting us, by the way-

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  51. That was, that was a surprise.

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  52. You're welcome.

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  53. By the way, man, this place is... beautiful.

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  54. Gravel company?

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  55. Not gravel, obviously. No, things are good. Things are good. Got some stuff in the works. So-

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  56. Yeah, you never know.

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  57. OK, Kenny.

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  58. He plays piano?

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  59. Definitely.

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  60. Courtside seats. Sixers.

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  61. It was an away game.

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  62. No.

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  63. Um, ok.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53147

  64. Oh, here's one. Did I ever tell you about the time that my brothers videotaped the lottery announcement? And bought the winning numbers the next day? And then, played the tape for me the next week, and I-

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  65. You heard that one.

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  66. That I thought we were millionaires.

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  67. That's all right.

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  68. You all right?

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  69. Ready?

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  70. John Stamos.

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  71. Right. And did you show them the market? Yeah. And what'd they say? That's awesome! That, oh my god! Wow!

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  72. It's not even real yet. And I'm not gonna tell her 'til it's real.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53208

  73. I'm sorry. This is for a news audition?

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  74. I can feel you looking at me.

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  75. Uh-huh.

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  76. That didn't happen. You would've told me right away.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53251

  77. Uh...

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  78. God, give it up, Beesley. You know me too well.

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  79. Don't worry about it. I have a thing. A thing of soup. Which I've been wanting to try.

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  80. That was really good, Darryl.

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  81. Andy, you gotta check this out. He just showed me'[gets interrupted by Andy].

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53383

  82. Pam always says I look like Nixon. That's crazy, right? I mean there's nothing there. True'Oh no.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53484

  83. You doing alright, man?

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  84. Yeah. Not the easiest day to be assistant regional manager.

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  85. Oh, come on, it can always get better. Right?

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  86. No, I'm serious. There's always something better.

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  87. Like hypothetically' if I said there was another job. That you and I could both have.

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  88. Something cool. Like, sports marketing or... that sound something like you'd be into?

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  89. Right?

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  90. Ok, but wait. What if I told you that it was in Philly! So you'd have to...

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  91. Right?

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  92. Not even a thought! It's not even that far away! I could still commute! Exactly. Exactly! Alright!

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53530

  93. Oh, it's happening! Let's just keep it between you and me for right now.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53532

  94. We, uh, we haven't talked about. But I think that she's'I think she understands... what this is.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53534

  95. What? No, no, no! Come on! This is real!

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53536

  96. Hey! Can I talk you? For a second?

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  97. I don't know what I was so worried about. I have the best wife in the world.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Line 53555

  98. I deserved that.

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  99. Uh, what happened to that video I sent you?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53576

  100. I think I got it right here.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53578