Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 60)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 60 of 69

1. Yep. Because Kelly is Indian and... oh, that's it.

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2. Sorry, just to be clear, you're saying do NOT shake the baby.

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3. That's about it, yeah.

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4. Um...

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5. What happened?

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6. Couple of times.

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7. Um... I don't... Uh, yes, that time that it was very late. Uh, we'd had sex so many times already, I was exhausted...

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8. I was very drunk.

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9. Wow, what are we talking about?

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10. Hey, hey. Okay.

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11. Well, it's good to see Kelly's maturing.

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12. Not at all, can we go?

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13. Second line.

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14. And when the Indian Ocean calms, one speck of white remains in waters cold and Kelly green.'

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15. Uh, Ryan can never know.

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16. Wow That's terrible, I really liked him.

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17. Well, I second that emotion.

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18. Wow! Look at that! It says he's actually playing State College. That's only three hours away!

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19. Tickets are 250 bucks.

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20. Paul Anka.

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21. Okay, you could just show up late though.

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22. Well, as long as you don't want to alarm people...

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23. Wow, that's exciting! But until you firm up the idea, you might want to keep it between us.

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24. Wait, what? Come on!

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25. Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying you're not dreamy, because you are, but isn't it possible that he was just schmoosing a voter?

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26. Okay, what was this look?

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27. What happened, did he do it?

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28. Okay guys, not every glance means something, alright? Life isn't Downton Abbey.

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29. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go over there and I'm going to talk to him and I guarantee you he gives out his cell phone to everybody.

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30. Boom!

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31. what is interesting? I just proved that he gives his cell out to everybody.

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32. Oh, hey! you bought me those shoes!

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33. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!

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34. Hey, just wanted to check in. See how you are doing.

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35. Look at that one though, he's smiling!

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36. Yes--

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37. Okay well, Andy, listen. It's okay if you don't feel totally settled. This is all very fresh.

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38. Yeah! Like that rock opera! You could always do that right?

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39. Yeah

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40. Listen, guys, I think we all want to know the same thing, right? Who's the strongest? Well, there's only one way to solve that ' flat curl contest.

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41. All right, here we go everybody. May the manliest man win. Go.

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42. Come on, Gabe, you can't handle his hamstrings. You're getting hypno-thigh-zed.

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43. Here, this is for your elbows, for your elbows.

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44. You're welcome.

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45. Quick phone call from you guys, keep going,

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46. All right, easy there, grandpa.

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47. Okay. You don't need my help?

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48. All right, well, enjoy the alumni game.

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49. Thanks Janet.

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50. Wow, simultaneous sale.

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51. Screw 'em.

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52. Binghamton branch closed last night and their clients are up for grabs.

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53. Hey, hey, come on, language.

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54. In the fridge.

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55. Sorry, man, I can't focus on zingers. There's too many potential clients.

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56. Robert?

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57. The salesmen have a commission cap, but we figured out a way around it.

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58. Okay, it sounds sketchy, but it helps us get more money.

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59. Pam made a drawing of Lloyd. He is a blend of all the salesman.

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60. There's actually not a rule that says that.

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61. How about this? How about we just ask Robert? Can we all agree that maybe the C.E.O should decide this?

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62. He's running!

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63. Damn it.

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64. It's a monkey.

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65. Hold on, hold on. Is this him?

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66. Is that him?

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67. What? What am I gonna do? I don't '

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68. Dwight!

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69. Nos? You mean like in fast and furious?

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70. Oh, yeah, definitely have nos.

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71. Are you sure?

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72. Brace yourself. 3' 2'

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73. 1. Here we go!

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74. You all right?

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75. Ah!

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76. Dwight, what are you doing?

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77. What are you talking about?

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78. I don't even know where the stairs are!

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79. God!

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80. What?

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81. Big Red Paper Company?

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82. All right, guys. It didn't work out for any of us, so' we're still on the same team. Let me get these.

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83. But you're saying there's a chance.

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84. Oh, man, I'd have to sell beets. Probably submit them for competitions.

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85. Yeah! I know it sounds stupid, but nationals has always kinda been a dream of mine.

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86. I don't know. I've always wanted to own a bike shop, but what about you?

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87. That sounds lovely.

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88. I know why you're doing this, Dwight.

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89. Last week, I may have gone too far. I'll explain it quickly. Basically, I found out where he gets his clothes dry-cleaned. Custom ordered the same suit, made with tear-away Velcro. And... you can fill in the rest.

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90. Now he's trying to get me to bring my children in to work. I think it's fair to be cautious.

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91. How's it going, man?

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92. Great, yeah, good.

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93. Is a mop the most efficient tool to use on a carpet?

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94. Pam? No!

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95. No, we talked about not bringing them in to Dwight's photo studio slash trap.

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96. No, we decided it was crazy not to worry about it.

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97. Nope.

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98. But are you a hundred percent sure? I don't think any of us are.

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99. Nope.

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100. That's-

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