Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 59)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 59 of 69

1. OK, first of all, they've mostly worked, so-

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51034

2. Dwight, come o-

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51036

3. Gross! Don't lick my hand! God, why is there so much saliva?

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51039

4. Gross!

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51041

5. What? What, what, what, what, what?

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51043

6. I'm sorry.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51045

7. I'm so sorry, I forgot.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51047

8. You all right? You ok?

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51049

9. What are you doing?

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51066

10. Get up.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51068

11. Get up. All right? I'm not gonna let you by.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51070

12. OK. What are you doing? Are you really revving up? you know that doesn't work.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51072

13. What are you doing? No. No, no, no.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51089

14. This is dangerous.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51091

15. Why?

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51093

16. Nope. I think that was it.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51095

17. Yeah, the crazy thing about that is, um, wow you look great. Did you lose some weight?

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51107

18. Hey.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51112

19. I missed you.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51114

20. Wow. It's the end of an era.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51121

21. And I was still just a paper salesman.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51130

22. Hey. So they accidentally gave us an extra egg sandwich this morning. Who wants it?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51133

23. Nellie

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51139

24. What brings you to town?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51141

25. No, that's Andy's office.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51152

26. Can't you do something about this?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51183

27. -Right.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51185

28. What is going on? And where's Andy? And what is going on?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51186

29. I think it's a cross between Dumbo and Jumbo, with a hint of chubby. It's not a name.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51205

30. Any luck?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51223

31. Andy?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51235

32. Andy, where are you?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51237

33. What? You're in Florida? Andy, Nellie Bertram's trying to take your job.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51240

34. Like, set up camp in your office and is calling herself the manager.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51242

35. Guys, we cannot do these performance reviews, okay? If we go into them, you're basically accepting Nellie as your manager, and trust me, you do not want her as your manager.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51244

36. Dwight, should she be our manager?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51247

37. And when was the last time Dwight and I agreed on anything ever?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51250

38. The raise isn't real.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51263

39. Um... are you aware that Nellie is giving out raises?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51271

40. Yeah. She gave one to Dwight, Phyllis.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51273

41. Land. World. Uh, it's not that I don't want a-- well, yes, I guess I'd take a raise. That's not what I'm saying. That's not-- sorry.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51275

42. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51277

43. Oh, god, nature, please.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51279

44. [exhales sharply]

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51281

45. Was that not the--

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51283

46. Mm-hm.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51285

47. Was that it? No, that wasn't bad.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51287

48. No. I would've said no.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51289

49. I mean, if we go in there and take these raises, what are we saying? That it's okay for someone to just take someone else's job? Shouldn't work like that.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51292

50. No, it's not, because you don't really work here.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51339

51. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't know if you can even give raises.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51341

52. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51343

53. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51345

54. She dies.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51349

55. Let's see it. Show of hands.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51351

56. All right, guys, stop.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51353

57. How?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51355

58. Oh, great. 'Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy.' Oh that's not good.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51379

59. Stanley doesn't have a moustache.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51382

60. Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51388

61. Okay, quick. Who says moustache?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51393

62. Who says no moustache?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51395

63. I'm sorry, we're taking work time to move someone's personal belongings into their new apartment.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51434

64. Why is she here?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51436

65. Nellie, that reminds me. Do you want this chair in the bedroom? 'Cause to be honest, I don't think it's gonna fit through the door.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51471

66. That was one time-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51473

67. Excuse me, one second. Hi.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51476

68. Ah, nothing, just hauling some cube with Dwight.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51478

69. That's moving boxes. We just came up with the term to make it sound cooler.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51480

70. Sounds like every other party.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51482

71. Oh! Hire a magician.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51484

72. Trust me.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51486

73. Yes, you should.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51504

74. 'Nellie, don't open, stupid. Love, Nellie.'

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51506

75. I doubt that they're sh-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51508

76. Whoa. Who is this guy?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51510

77. Boyfriend.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51512

78. Like a boyfriend?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51514

79. Yeah. Whoa. Here's one with his face whited out.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51516

80. Better theory. This is her ex-boyfriend and they went through some kind of painful breakup.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51518

81. Oh, Nellie. I'm so sorry. We were just...

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51520

82. Shh!

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51523

83. Dwight!

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51526

84. I'm so sorry. These must be very painful memories.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51528

85. No, no. Of course. Just one quick question. Was this um, Halloween, or...

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51531

86. You know what, Pam? I was thinking maybe we should change course here. Let's give up on all this mean stuff.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51533

87. No, that's not what I-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51535

88. Absolutely. Yeah. Call it off, Pam. Call it off, okay? It's way more complicated than you think. Cancel the magician. Trust me.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51537

89. Oh. Well. I feel that as someone who knows Pam only a little bit... enough. A good amount. Not the most, though. I would say that she is misunderstood and that maybe there's some stuff in her past that you guys don't know about that's a little messed up and probably makes her such a torture to work with.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51616

90. No. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51620

91. Oh, I'll do it. I will volunteer.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51635

92. I'll do it.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51637

93. It's the four of hearts.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51639

94. Not true. 'Cause that's not a real place.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51644

95. Well, turns out he actually made it up there.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51679

96. Night-night.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51684

97. Phyllis says the same twelve cliches every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51686

98. Hey, come on.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51700

99. And that's noon. Exactly.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51702

100. That's it.

     Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51732