Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 4)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 4 of 69

1. We got to see Ping. And we learned of Michael's true feelings for Ryan. Which was touching. And, we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs. Which for me, has ruined them for life.

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2. What?

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3. Okay.

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4. I don't know, what?

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5. Oh my God! You are so drunk!

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6. Did you get that? Please tell me you got that. This is all going to be on.

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7. He's a volunteer.

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8. Dwight come on, come-

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9. Whoa.

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10. Whoa.

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11. Whoa, careful, careful.

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12. No you don't.

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13. Oh, here she is. Careful, careful, whoa. Alright, easy. Almost there.

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14. Shoot.

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15. Not really a question. Okay, let's get you home, you're drunk.

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16. Alright.

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17. Goodnight, have a good night. Thank you Angela.

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18. Mmm-hmmm.

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19. He plays guitar, he likes naval history. He's a bowler.

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20. Well, you seem to have this under control.

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21. The weird part about this whole deal this that Michael truly believes that these awards are inspiring and motivational. I mean, he puts more effort and time and commitment into the Dundies than anything else he does all year. Which is probably why this branch will be downsized.

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22. Good one.

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23. What award would you like to give Dwight?

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24. Okay.

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25. Dwight, this is crazy.

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26. Dwight, Dwight.

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27. The other volunteers.

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28. Hey.

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29. Um... I don't think so.

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30. Oh! There it is!

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31. Um... 'Fifty signs your priest might be Michael Jackson.'

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32. Well done.

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33. Topical.

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34. Hey, um... what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!

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35. Except pass that breathalyzer.

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36. I'm really excited to meet your Mom.

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37. Oh yeah?

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38. Good. Cause I have a lot of questions.

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39. Yeah. As a child, did Pam show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?

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40. I'm in an office relationship. It's special. Um... she's nice. She's shy. She's actually here. You want to meet her? Hold on one second. Oh, my God! Put on a shirt! Put on a... . I told you that you'd be on camera. I'm sorry, she's European. No, I told you that you'd be on camera. Stop it.

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41. No, thanks. I'm good.

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42. Does that include 'That's What She Said'?

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43. Wow! That is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so...

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44. What can I say, Dwight, I live a very dangerous life.

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45. Hey.

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46. Yeah.

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47. Yeah?

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48. Yes, it is harassment and I'm going to be suing the winking face. I've hired the angry face as my lawyer and you will be hearing from him pretty soon.

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49. Okay.

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50. [looks bored. Taps finger on desk. Head falls to desk]

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51. Mm-hmm.

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52. No way. Let's do this Oh.

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53. Wind.

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54. Perfect.

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55. Oh.

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56. Hey, Oscar, on these new expense reports, do we really have to go back to last quarter?

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57. What does 2005 season mean?

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58. Wait a minute, what is this?

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59. What?

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60. Really?

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61. Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years.

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62. OH!

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63. Yes! So close. I really love the paper triangle flicking and hitting things game. Yeah.

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64. Why?

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65. Hey, do you guys have any other games?

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66. So that's what this sound is all day.

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67. Stanley. Just played Dunder Ball with Toby. What about you, you got any games?

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68. Fair enough.

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69. This scented candle ...andle ...andle. Which I found in the men's bathroom ...room ...room. Represents the eternal burning of competition. Or something.

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70. Yes it does. Yes it does my friend. Ok, we will be competing for gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids.

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71. Let the games begin.

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72. You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies. And I'm blanking on the name, can you help me out Pam?

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73. Hum.

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74. Fair enough, but I like Flonkerton.

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75. So, who will be challenging Kevin in Flonkerton? Anyone?

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76. Yes! Phyllis! Phyllis, just put your foot right through here. Right through the flonk.

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77. Here we go. Here we go.

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78. Dig deep, dig deep! OHHHhhh! It's Phyllis!

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79. Phyllis by a nose. Gold medal in Flernenton.

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80. Thank you, delegate from Iceland.

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81. Wow! Ok. No one else should even try! Gold medals! Give him medals. Wow.

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82. Very nicely done. I think that's H-O-R for Stanley, and H-O for Phyllis.

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83. Oh my god. Phyllis, coming alive. I like it.

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84. Who had someone from Vance Refrigeration?

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85. Ryan Howard. Ryan! Gold medal.

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86. What? Oh my god. Where did you have time to make that?

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87. Alright Pam, alright. Nice work!

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88. Final lap. Final lap. Time to beat is 1:15.

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89. Time to beat is one minute, 15 seconds. Here they come. Guys?

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90. Nothing. Guys? Timer's still going? Er?

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91. Here you go. All done.

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92. Yeah, I filled out the expense reports. That took about five minutes and then I closed two sales at lunch time. So, about as productive as any other day. If not more so.

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93. Hey.

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94. Mmm. Hey, can you ignore those and do something for me instead?

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95. Okay, today. 5 o'clock. Closing Ceremonies.

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96. Notify the athletes.

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97. Michael.

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98. Nothing. I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo.

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99. Nice.

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100. Hey, would you mind coming out here for a second? I just have something for you.

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