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Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 54)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 54 of 69

  1. I'm so sorry, I think I forgot that thing...

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46862

  2. Whoo.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46864

  3. Hey, I have a question. Who do you think is really the best salesman in this office?

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46866

  4. Chapter seven: The host should always present something spectacular to draw the eye of his guests.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46879

  5. I don't know if I can.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46918

  6. Alright.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46921

  7. I know, I know, I know. But Darryl and Kevin needed a third. They bought me this jersey. I said no. Kevin started crying. So, I am Chris Bosh.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46922

  8. No! My wife does not believe in ghosts.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46955

  9. Hey.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46956

  10. Oh, this Man In Black thing, what do you think that was about?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46958

  11. Was it, like, trickery in the lights, or maybe you were so primed to see it, then there it was?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46960

  12. Mmhmm. No, but what I'm saying is, like, do you ever wonder what it was?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46962

  13. Yeah, I had just told you about the day that I met the Blue Angels. I figured you had to top it.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46964

  14. Hey it's Jim Halpert. I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight. Because I've read a lot about this really great documentary.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47038

  15. It's called Ghostbusters.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47040

  16. It didn't have a buster sign around him? Why don't you draw him? Why don't we see this whole thing.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47042

  17. I ain't fraid of no ghost. Whoa!

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47044

  18. You know that's'

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47054

  19. I was talking about my wife and how she believes in ghosts. And then we had a little debate and Meredith said she believes in them too.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47056

  20. Party looks fun doesn't it? Everybody seems to be in there having a great time. So maybe now would be a great time for me to pop back on the computer.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47065

  21. Are you serious?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47067

  22. That's funny. Ok.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47069

  23. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47109

  24. Careful, whoa. First of all, it's not like I think that's going to help the Eagles win.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47111

  25. No. That is just a bunch of people participating in a collective thing that maybe the Eagles will hear about and want to play better. It's not...

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47113

  26. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47115

  27. Like, a few years down the road, Cece says, 'Mom, there's a ghost in my closet.' Now, you say one of two things - one, 'You're just having a bad dream,' or two, 'Let's go see what it was.'

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47137

  28. Ok.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47139

  29. Oh, come on!

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47141

  30. Pink is the red-

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47159

  31. I was talking about my wife, and how she believes in ghosts. And then we had a little debate. Meredith said she believes in them too.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47161

  32. Oscar, how are you on that side?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47180

  33. But that would make more sense.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47184

  34. ...W R K.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47190

  35. Uh no it's W R K, as in kitten. Oh my boss is singing Closing Time, maybe that's what you are hearing.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47192

  36. I'm just saying with the NBA lockout I think roller derby's in a really good place now. So'my pitch is'me, Pam, you and, someone else maybe Justine.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47221

  37. Is that off again?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47223

  38. Ok.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47225

  39. Wait, so you installed a doomsday device?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47270

  40. Which when it goes off it destroys everything. Very similar to a doomsday device.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47272

  41. Dwight, question.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47309

  42. If this doomsday device goes off...

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47311

  43. If this bad idea goes off and we all lose our jobs. Are you going to feel good about that?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47313

  44. Ok.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47317

  45. Nope.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47319

  46. Hmm'Heda. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47322

  47. Ok, where is he?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47372

  48. I'll try both.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47374

  49. Robert.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47386

  50. Yeah, well, you know just had a meeting. Squash meeting.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47388

  51. You up for a game?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47390

  52. Exactly. Here we go. Let's do it.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47392

  53. Alright. Serving. Serving. Serving. Serving.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47412

  54. In the box.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47414

  55. Is that my phone?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47440

  56. Nah, I think it's mine. Lemme just check real quick, here. Alright.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47442

  57. Oh, oh yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47444

  58. Yes. Right now? Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47446

  59. Here you go.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47448

  60. Awww, sorry. Did it break?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47451

  61. You sure?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47453

  62. What kinda iPhone is that?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47455

  63. Oh yeah. I have the one that nobody has. Is there anything interesting?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47457

  64. Ha ha. No, I don't. No, I don't. Alright, well, I am sore and obviously horrible at this, so-

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47459

  65. Ah! Classic, right?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47469

  66. I'm alright.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47471

  67. Yep.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47473

  68. Yep. Ah. Oh.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47475

  69. Yeah. That does not feel good.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47477

  70. Ok, he didn't fix it. The brightness level was all the way down.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47483

  71. I wasn't here that day.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47485

  72. No- Ok. Well, we'll talk about it later. Straussburg! I had a meeting in Straussburg and I dropped you off beforehand. I was wearing a tan shirt with stripes?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47487

  73. Ok, this is crazy.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47489

  74. I have never played squash. But I have seen it in countless 80's movies and it seems like the most common mistake is that you serve too hard and hit yourself right in the squash balls. So, as long as I don't do that, I think I'll be alright.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47490

  75. Good game. You are a worthy opponent. You wanna play one more?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47492

  76. No? Come on.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47494

  77. Well, that is... because you didn't realize that... I was left-handed.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47496

  78. Hmm. Doubt it.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47565

  79. What's that?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47568

  80. Honestly I have no idea. I just figured we'd save her from Ryan right?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47570

  81. Hey.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47625

  82. Yeah. Super pretty.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47627

  83. The temp?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47629

  84. Nope.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47631

  85. And I'm telling you, I don't.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47633

  86. No, I don't.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47635

  87. No, I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47636

  88. Okay. Uh, I don't. So are we good?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47638

  89. Oh, I stand corrected.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47687

  90. Oh, you know who might be good? Mike Tibbets.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47689

  91. Mm-hmm.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47691

  92. Not his mom's car.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47693

  93. Touche?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47695

  94. Mike Tibbets is like the most boring-looking guy I know. So if that was for the matchmaker test, I think I'm in the clear. If that wasn't for the matchmaker test, then... Cathy, he's a really nice guy.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47707

  95. Dwight!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47728

  96. Dwight! Dwight!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47731

  97. Sorry about that.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47733

  98. Dwight! Why?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47735

  99. Leave.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47737

  100. Mm-hmm?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47744