Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 53)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 53 of 69

1. He brings up two good points. Do you have any new leads? Any new territories you want us to look into? Maybe have an in with a big client that we can get our foot in the door?

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2. New leads, a new territory to look into, maybe an in with a big company that we could get our foot in the door'

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3. She looks at it when she's on the potty, and she makes the faces.

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4. We know that.

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5. You have a walking buddy.

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6. What if we went all the way up to five hundred points?

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7. But, what if?

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8. I don't know, for such a crazy number I'd like something pretty crazy.

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9. That's pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?

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10. Alright, alright. And you are totally serious?

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11. Wait. You did say we could pool our points, right? In that case'let's get to work.

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12. [on the phone]I can have it to you by the beginning of next week. Alright? Thanks very much. Uh, Phyllis! Bracken Auto?

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13. Ok.

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14. Andrew.

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15. No, I didn't notice anything.

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16. I don't know what to tell you, man.

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17. Oh, one hundred percent. We all want to see you tattoo your ass.

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18. Nah, you definitely weren't kidding. And that came across loud and clear. Oh, by the way, I want to hand this in.

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19. Yeah. Big sale. Don't worry about it though, I don't really care about the points. I would like a point receipt though'Hey! Yes, this is Jim Halpert calling for Donald'can you hold on for one second? Thank you very much.

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20. [on the phone]and I'm back. How are you sir?....I think we can squeeze a couple more golf games in, right?

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21. Gettin' psyched up?

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22. Andy, nobody really expects you to go through with this'

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23. I mean, do you like it? You having fun? Tell you this, everybody else is having a lot of fun'.and you did that.

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24. But I think it's big enough to buy you some time till your next great idea'.which, by the way, I can't wait for.

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25. Absolutely not.

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26. Pull up your pants.

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27. I'd hang on to it though, cause I can think of a bunch. Like a 70's theme party, or a 70's theme meeting, or a 70's theme convention...

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28. 1870's...

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29. Nope, he means tuna dog.

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30. Do Snowboarders hate animals?

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31. Dwight! At least aim it.

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32. Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

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33. Alright! Nice job, Oscar!

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34. So...ah, who's gonna take the dog?

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35. What if he jumps out the window and runs away?

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36. Oscar, what do you wanna do, this is kinda your deal. You wanna dog?

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37. Yeah, that's pretty good.

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38. Nice job.

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39. Oh man, it's gotta be over a hundred thousand dollars.

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40. I mean, I don't even know what I'd do with all that money.

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41. No, I'd probably buy a big piece of land in Maine, build a house, work in town. Somewhere I could bike to or kayak to. I'd either bike to my job at the kayak shop or kayak to my job at the bike shop.

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42. Whoa. Saucy. I thought you liked Maine?

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43. Which ideally would be me....

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44. Stop. I'm a barista in your fantasy?

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45. I don't know about Stephen King, I mean...

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46. Uh, yeah. I mean, as the strongest person in this office, I guess I should go down with you...

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47. OK. Three hundred boxes of twenty pound white. That's seventy-five boxes per person, so that's not so bad.

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48. Nice. Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Oh!

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49. There's gotta be a better way to do this. This is literally how they built the pyramids.

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50. Yeah Not that they're not smart people.

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51. I'd go with that.

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52. Not that, don't...

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53. It's a great idea Kev, I don't think it applies here though, so maybe we just-

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54. Our fake winnings

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55. It is, yeah. I mean I just don't know why I'm compromising if it's my fantasy. Cause in my fantasy it's Maine and you love it.

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56. Nope. You're, you're doing a great job of it in my fantasy right now.

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57. A...hot chocolate tea

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58. Kevin Costner.

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59. Yeah.

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60. So, it's not the dumbest idea.

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61. But, the fact remains we gotta move these boxes.

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62. So sadly, it's the best idea on the table.

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63. Is he OK?

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64. OK, alright, that's...look. All we were trying to do is we thought we could come up with a more efficient way to do things.

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65. That's alright.

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66. Doesn't matter what the name is. Senor Loadenstein, that's stupid.

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67. That's OK, we're good.

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68. Porque es muy rapido.

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69. Right. It's city and country combined.

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70. And I can fish right from the window of Pam's pottery studio. And we can chat any time we want.

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71. Just like now....too bad the schools are terrible.

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72. But what are you gonna do about that?

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73. Ok, ok. We are so close. All we have to do is figure out that corner and we're basically there.

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74. Ok, Dwight! Come on. Here, I think I have an idea.

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75. Dammit Dwight!

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76. Ok, I have a question. Why is the truck so far away?

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77. Ok, I just asked that ques-, I don't know. I mean it seems like the door is huge, right? So you should be able to back the truck up to the paper.

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78. So this warehouse has been around for what? Like a thousand years? And they never thought to back the truck up into it? I guess sometimes it just takes a fresh set of eyes. Alright!

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79. Whoa whoa whoa!

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80. No! Stop! Stop stop stop stop! You're way over! Ok, you gotta cut it! Cut it hard! (bleep!) Stop stop stop stop! Stop, stop! Dammit Dwight. Great.

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81. Good.

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82. Hey. So, we saw a new billboard.

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83. You've seen it, right?

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84. There's this thing that people tend to do with billboards. How do I put this? If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a... phallic shape, interacting with the artwork, it'll happen, and Andy gave them that opportunity.

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85. Okay, don't be gross.

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86. Ah, and did Robert California get an invite to your party?

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87. So, we've typed in the address, now let's take a look at the street view.

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88. Ah. Why do you keep reading that garden party book? I mean, how hard are finger sandwiches and tea?

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89. I'm actually really disappointed in how poorly my book is doing. I've only sold one copy.

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90. Chapter 2 ' Announcing guests as they enter is the height of decorum. The more volume displayed, the more honor is bestowed upon everyone present.

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91. Oh, hey, how are you doing, I'm Jim.

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92. No.

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93. No, no, no, no, no. No.

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94. Chapter 4 ' One of the host's most important duties is as Dance Master. A proper courtly dance sets the tone for the entire afternoon.

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95. Chapter 9 ' The tableau vivant is not only welcomed, but expected entertainment at any garden party.

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96. Closing ceremonies.

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97. I think I left my wallet in your house.

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98. Right here.

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99. Keys, keys...

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100. I didn't forget them, they're right here.

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