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Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 51)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 51 of 69

  1. He's good at his job. And I like working for him.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44816

  2. And say what? 'Hey Deangelo, are you shy or just a sexist?'

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44822

  3. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44824

  4. Hey, you got a second?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44826

  5. Umm, really, it's nothing, I was just talking to Angela, and she was --

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44829

  6. If it's alright, can I just have like one minute alone, just to go over --

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44832

  7. I know. Just the guys. Well, maybe that's, uh, part of the problem. I think...so what happened was, I was talking with some of the department heads. Uh, some of the female department heads.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44834

  8. Maybe there's a vibe out there, with certain members of the office, that you are...a little sexist, or --

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44837

  9. Whoa. Whoa. Wait.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44839

  10. Oh. Like nobody.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44841

  11. It was --

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44843

  12. That's awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44847

  13. Hey, who'd you end up hiring?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44857

  14. Oh yeah, did he text us?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44878

  15. He didn't text me.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44882

  16. Don't worry, the first day's always the hardest.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44888

  17. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44890

  18. Nope. Just... Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44892

  19. Well, there is no inner...circle.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44894

  20. So this is my life. Until I win the lottery. Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44900

  21. You know what? Instead of a game, why don't we do an exhibition? I'd love to see that dunk of yours.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44928

  22. Today. Now, maybe. 'Cause we have a hoop downstairs and a real ball, so you don't have to mime it.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44930

  23. Why not?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44932

  24. Alright, there you go.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44937

  25. 15 feet from the baseline, so, you need me to move it in?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44939

  26. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44941

  27. Fantastic.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44953

  28. Yup.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44955

  29. Now what?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44957

  30. Oh my God, are you alright? Erin, will you call 911 please?

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44960

  31. Erin.

    Season 7 · Episode 22 · Line 44962

  32. All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears, and balloons?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44968

  33. Nope. Baskets have it.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44970

  34. So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that - people like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44971

  35. Well, I really appreciate the offer, but I'm just happy the way things are. Okay. Thank you. That was Jo, asking me if I wanted to take over as acting manager while they find a replacement. I told her... I don't want to mess this up, right? There's a consensus, people are happy.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44972

  36. Wait...

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44974

  37. I'm coming.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44979

  38. You'd slow me down.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44981

  39. Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. No. A week. Just feels like three months. Let's see, we all have to punch in to a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has a slot about the size of a finger. We were all given new business cards big enough to set us apart from the competition, which is how I learned that our titles are all now Junior Employee. Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. Mine's at 10:30, and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44982

  40. Question, if we already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44993

  41. You define foment.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 44995

  42. Oh, it's just a social club. You know, like the French Revolution, or the Black Panthers, or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking, you know.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45019

  43. Nope. Social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45021

  44. And we would love to have you. But not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything, but I have noted it.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45023

  45. Wow, you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45042

  46. And the desk.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45044

  47. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45046

  48. I promise...d other people that I would be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so...

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45048

  49. You can't fire me. You're acting manager. Not office manager. So you have no firing powers.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45050

  50. You wouldn't dare.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45052

  51. If you get promoted, and if you haven't fallen in love with me by then.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45054

  52. If I had thought that there was a real chance that Dwight would be permanent manager, I would have pre-quit. And you might be saying to yourself, 'Well that's pretty premature to think,' but I always say, it's better to be pre-pre-preprepared.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45056

  53. Oh, is it my turn? Ooh, I'm on the spot. I don't know. Um... you know what? I think I'm good.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45138

  54. Nope. When Jo's here, can you work in 'Shagadelic, baby,' at least three times in a conversation? Oh, and when I cough can you do jazz hands?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45140

  55. [quickly shakes his hands back and forth]

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45142

  56. Well, I don't know about that. Just wasn't for me. But let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders. Right?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45149

  57. Yep.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45201

  58. Hey, Dwight. What's up?

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45205

  59. Well, you do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? There's no debating that. But, I will say... in your one week, every single one of the orders went out on time. And I think that is shagadelic, baby.

    Season 7 · Episode 23 · Line 45207

  60. He never called a meeting.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45226

  61. Your paper experience is very interesting. Do you think you could use that experience to inform decisions here?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45233

  62. Really?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45235

  63. ...What is it?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45237

  64. You could just be saying it to get the job.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45244

  65. How about this. Why don't you give us a part of the plan, and that way we know you have it.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45246

  66. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45248

  67. Did you just trademark that...

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45250

  68. We are the Search Committee, hand-picked by our CEO, and tasked to find this branch's new manager. Not everyone we meet will be good, but someone's bound to be, right? And, to be honest, I think a lot of the decent candidates are right here in-house, so, I'm not too worried. But I'm really excited to spend a lot of time with Toby and Gabe. Did you know that Gabe's last name was Lewis? I had no idea.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45253

  69. Unfortunately, that range is set at corporate.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45283

  70. Heh. We think that 25 cents a mile is pretty generous.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45285

  71. Can you... You are a man of great confidence. Could you speak a little more to that, and, what the role of confidence... would be... in a dialogue with a subordinate?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45297

  72. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45299

  73. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45301

  74. He creeps me out. But, I think he might be a genius.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45303

  75. Oh.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45307

  76. Well, for instance, how did you deal with it when two warehouse guys got into a fight?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45314

  77. So I think all we need is a resume, and we'll be good right?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45317

  78. Yeah, it's no big deal, just something that looks like that. Cool?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45319

  79. Can I ask why you're leaving your current job?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45340

  80. Is this a bad time to be doing this?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45342

  81. Andy? You all set?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45360

  82. So, Andy, what improvements would you make as office manager?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45365

  83. Is it?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45379

  84. Your department's just you, right?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45390

  85. Good!

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45400

  86. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45402

  87. Peepa.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45404

  88. Great.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45406

  89. No.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45408

  90. You're not getting an interview, Dwight. The whole point of this Search Committee process is to prevent hiring someone like you ever again.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45410

  91. Okay. That's vivid.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45412

  92. Yikes.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45414

  93. Well, you know how I like taking bribes.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45416

  94. Unfortunately, Jo also took the job away from you because she doesn't trust your judgment. So how would that look for me, if I recommended you?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45418

  95. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45420

  96. Thank you.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45422

  97. Great.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45452

  98. I'm sure it's fine.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45454

  99. Howard Cline?

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45456

  100. Oh... Deshaun Williams.

    Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45458