Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 48)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 48 of 69

1. No.

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2. Yeah, it's not as fun if I'm not blowing off work.

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3. [blows a raspberry, Erin looks shocked, Kevin chuckles]

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4. Oh, nice, wasting time, here we go.

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5. Talk to me.

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6. [listening to and editing Jo's book on tape]

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7. [puts his phone in his coffee mug and calls Gabe]

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8. All right, good night, Gabe. Just wanted to say thanks again. 'Cause I really think I made good use of my day, oh! Sorry.

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9. Why?

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10. Ahh, Thank you hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.

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11. Oh, don't worry about it. Dwight, its okay. You were wrong.

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12. Well, A for effort right?

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13. Which is you.

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14. I disagree with.

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15. Okay, someone look it up.

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16. Well on the plus side all this worrying about China has made you smarter than Oscar, Michael.

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17. Oh God, I've been playing Zombie Soccer for two hours?

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18. Oh wow, these are nice.

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19. Yeah, yeah. Totally.

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20. Woah, there is a lot of brainpower in this room. We've got Michael and Oscar, the two smartest guys in the office, also in that order.

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21. Around here, Oscar is known as 'actually' because he will insert himself into just about any conversation to add facts, or correct grammar. He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.

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22. Woah, woah, woah. Do you know what you just agreed to?

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23. No.

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24. He's trying to set you up Michael. What's going to happen is he's going to try and bring up what ever you're talking about in a very casual way, but secretly he'll be trying to trip you up, and when he does, boom, its awful. Haven't you noticed that I don't bring up the Tour de France around him?

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25. No politics?

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26. Two for two, keep it up.

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27. What do you know about boobs?

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28. Thank you.

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29. Show him how to use it.

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30. It's still on a bike path though right?

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31. What does that mean?

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32. What?

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33. But you didn't fail.

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34. And you didn't fail those things either.

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35. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

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36. One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.

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37. You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?

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38. Why's it smell real? Ah... good one.

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39. Hey, it's snowing.

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40. Hey, Dwight.

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41. Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right?

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42. You've got something on your nose.

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43. No.

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44. You got it.

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45. Hey.

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46. We still doing the gifts today? I mean, it is the Christmas party. Well, the classy Christmas party.

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47. Me neither. Whew.

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48. [A note is on Jim's computer that says, 'It is time. Parking lot at noon.' Jim nods and hands it to Dwight who burns it.]

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49. [standing outside, dials Dwight's cell phone]

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50. Stop! Stop!

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51. Oh... oh!

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52. Um, I was laying on the ground, defenseless, and uh, he just kept throwing 'em until he exhausted himself. And, uh, then... 'How 'bout icing it? lol. Dwight.'

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53. Okay... Holly's back.

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54. Aww...

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55. Don't. Stop, Dwight! Dwight, stop! Dwight, stop!

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56. Stop!

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57. Okay. Okay. Okay.

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58. Seriously!

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59. Okay. Okay.

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60. I just want it to stop.

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61. Hey, Toby.

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62. No way.

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63. That's increadible.

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64. You know what's crazy?

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65. I can't reconnect with you right now. Hold on one second. Excuse me.

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66. What are you talking about? You're the one terrorizing me.

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67. Okay, I'm sorry, why are we discounting this whole 'Woody came to life' thing so quickly?

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68. Yikes.

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69. No, fake girlfriends are always wrong.

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70. 'Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas. Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese.' Damn it, Dwight!

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71. Well, uh... I don't think any of us really know. Alright.

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72. Ooh, go easy with the shaking.

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73. You like it?

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74. Yup, I do make great Christmas gifts. But I couldn't make that.

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75. Alright, my turn.

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76. Right. Of course. 'The Adventures of Jimmy Halpert.' Oh, my God. This is awesome! That's my bike. That's my desk. And that is my daughter.

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77. I mean...

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78. I surrender.

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79. Anything. You got it.

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80. You're a psychopath.

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81. I don't want to go.

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82. Have you ever seen 'em do that?

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83. No, it's, it's okay. Okay.

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84. Okay. This is it.

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85. Go! Go! Go!

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86. Oh.

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87. I'm actually just looking for my Blackberry, so, carry on.

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88. I'm just looking for my phone, so... pretend I'm not here.

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89. Sounds good.

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90. Smart.

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91. Oh, come on, that sounds awesome.

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92. Was it?

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93. Hey! Yeah. No, I got it. Just leaving now.

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94. Listen, this isn't a favor, all right? This is a good idea. We all win.

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95. Wow. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Hey, Andy, I'm really, really sorry to do this to you, but I have a meeting today that I totally forgot, so I can't be apart of this seminar.

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96. I know.

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97. I'm really sorry. I can't do it.

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98. Will you let me know when this whole seminar thing's over?

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99. I just have a meeting, uh, outside the office.

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100. Hey.

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