Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 49)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 49 of 69

1. I just want to make a point to that last caller. I disagree. I don't think it is the running game at all. I think we do have to make a few moves in this off-season.

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2. Psst. You think this thing's gonna go much longer?

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3. Ohh! Good-bye.

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4. Tom Witochkin. One of my best buddies, actually.

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5. I was blue group, so it was second from the top.

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6. Was in the green group.

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7. And that's what I told him.

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8. My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with.'

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9. Yeah, woah. Yep, absolutely, go ahead.

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10. Hey.

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11. Pretty good.

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12. It has been, yeah.

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13. Sales.

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14. [laughs]

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15. Oh, man. You remember that, huh?

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16. All right, good catch-up.

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17. See ya.

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18. All right. Bye.

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19. Let's Go!

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20. He's going to be a lot of fun to drive around in a car with.

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21. That's it? That's all I get? Even after all the hard work I put into celebrating your talent today?

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22. Well, those things that you consider doodles, I consider art.

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23. Where'd I put what?

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24. Oh, sorry gotta go.

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25. Ok fine, three hints. One! When you are getting colder, you're really getting warmer.

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26. Two! You have a better chance, if you think Bob Vance.

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27. And the final clue...

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28. You know what, just think about it, you'll be fine.

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29. Cheer up. We made a sale.

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30. Well, I'm going the speed limit. So...

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31. Someone's in a bad mood.

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32. Alright, let me turn on some music.

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33. No you don't.

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34. Alright. Well we'll be there in ten minutes.

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35. Alright, Well if I see a gas station, I'll pull over.

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36. Hello?

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37. Hey Helen. Is everything ok?

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38. Ok...

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39. What?

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40. Oh my God.

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41. Just stay there. I'll be there in one second. Michael! Michael! Excuse me, sir there is a guy in the bathroom. He's coming out but I have to go because it's an emergency. Will you just tell him call the office. Just call the office! Thank you. Please?

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42. Hey it's me. So uh, don't worry. Everything's ok.

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43. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You're not holding a cup of coffee or anything are you?

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44. Uh, so, Cece had a little bit of a fever. And your mom also locked her in the car.

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45. No no no it's ok. So, Cece is with daddy now. She's laughing and she's happy. And we are on our way to see Dr. Barbra.

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46. Yes, and your mom got a very well deserved day off. So here's the thing though. I left Michael at the gas station on Benet.

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47. And his wallet and phone are on the seat next to me.

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48. Nope.

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49. Ok. Bye.

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50. There you go. Thanks.

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51. Big tip.

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52. What?

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53. We decided to have a Valentine's day lunch and then that way we can spend the entire night with Cece and avoid the Valentine's day dinner thing. It's a whole thing.

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54. Shh.

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55. Um, bottomless champagne.

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56. No.

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57. All right, I will fax over it to you. Whoop. I will fax it over to you. Okay. Thank you.

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58. Wait.

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59. Aww, nuts.

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60. OOH! Boom! Face!

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61. Did it!

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62. Love it. Keep it goin.

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63. Mm-hmm.

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64. Ew.

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65. Well, we were just looking for Ryan, so he's not here.

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66. Definitely not. That's disgusting.

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67. Hey, you don't have to...

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68. That was really rough.

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69. No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place.

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70. And a shower.

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71. What?

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72. No. We took a walk.

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73. Threat Level: Midnight is the great lost film of Michael Scott.

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74. Yeah, if Michael Scott did your home movie!

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75. I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress a receptionist who will remain nameless.

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76. Sorry.

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77. I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. I think I was just relieved, to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back.

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78. That's fine, it's great!

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79. Because of the sign, that says no pounding no begging.

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80. Three months.

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81. Four months.

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82. Eight months?

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83. Eleven months.

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84. Okay now really think hard about this one: One year.

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85. Four hundred and ninety-four months?

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86. Four hundred and ninety-FIVE months. That's just...

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87. Why is Packer back?

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88. What!?

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89. You did approve it?

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90. Can I do something for ya?

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91. Nice. You know, I cleaned our daughter for like, an hour at four a.m. this morning, so...

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92. Do I have any say in this?!

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93. Whoa, pull it back. Uhm, why did you hire Todd Packer?

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94. Why are you nodding?

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95. Well, I mean he humped Michael.

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96. Yeah.

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97. [continues working]

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98. That's a lot of reasons!

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99. Can I talk to you a second?

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100. So, this hot chocolate thing.

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