Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 47)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 47 of 69

1. Hey, crazy, um...so...that's it? You're just-you're fine?

   Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39844

2. I don't know. Oh! That's... not... yours.

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39863

3. Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39864

4. Stop.

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39882

5. Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us that he's not the Scranton Strangler.

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39884

6. I am Popeye!

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39889

7. I've never really been a costume guy. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for. And then this morning, when Pam hands me this little number ...no.

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39890

8. So four years ago, when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, and dating someone else, Pam went on two dates with Danny. Which was obviously the greatest love story ever told, given how much people are walking on eggshells around us.

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39937

9. That's right.

   Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39939

10. Yikes.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39941

11. Oh, no.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39943

12. No. No, I'm not gonna-no.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39945

13. I don't care.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39947

14. Madge from the warehouse just made her first sale. Madge. We should have been doing this a long time ago.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 39952

15. That is crazy. We would never care if Andy or Kevin went to your party.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40023

16. It's not like you guys had some long relationship right? Big painful breakup I don't know about?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40027

17. Oooh! You can't handle the truth!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40032

18. We have one question to ask the spirit world and you want us to ask that?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40070

19. Hey.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40084

20. When you work hard, you play hard around here. Even if you don't work hard. Oh, here's something. Uh, why didn't you ever call Pam back?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40086

21. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that everyone has to fall in love, or anything, I'm just saying... but you know, to not even call her back is...

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40088

22. Could be. But you also called her the second time so you had the number right.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40090

23. Nope.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40092

24. Just tell her the real reason.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40099

25. Hey. She had a nice time. It seems rude.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40101

26. Hey, man.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40104

27. To be honest, I still can't believe he didn't call her back. Who doesn't call a dork like that back?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40138

28. Spinach in a can. Power eat spinach.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Quote 40140

29. Stop.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40149

30. Elaborate.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40159

31. So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40163

32. You're welcome.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40165

33. Big day.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40169

34. Nope.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40171

35. It is really funny, but you know that can be confusing at a christening because you are not the godfather.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40184

36. Ok, your turn.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40186

37. Right now?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40213

38. Okay. All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going? We're gonna take a little field trip.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40215

39. Okay. Okay. There's my girl. All right. Hold on one second. There we go. What's that face for? Oh, my-oh, my God. Cece, no. No, no, no, not on the dress! Cece, stop!

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40216

40. What?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40218

41. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40220

42. This is happening.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40222

43. No. There's no extra outfit in the bag.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40224

44. I did... say that.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40226

45. Mm. No. Wrong on both counts.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40230

46. Okay, 'A,' Halbert. And, 'B,' I think a more appropriate statement would be, 'The 'Halberts' are hosting an intimate reception for their invited guests.'

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40231

47. Hey.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40244

48. Oh, well, Dave is an adorable baby.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40246

49. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40248

50. Huh, you think she is jealous about having a baby?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40256

51. Okay, well, you know what? Everybody's hungry. Sorry. I think I'm just hungry.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40258

52. Scones.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40288

53. I think that was sconesy cider, noted baptism reception critic.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40293

54. All right. And cider.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40295

55. Oh, hey, Mee-Maw, would you watch Cece for a second? Don't worry. She's asleep. I'm just gonna track down some more chairs.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40306

56. Uh, MeeMaw, where's Cece?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40347

57. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40349

58. Hey, guys, has anybody seen the baby?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40368

59. I don't know, dad. I don't know.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40371

60. I don't know. Hey, have you seen my baby?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40373

61. A small blonde woman?

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40375

62. Uh, everyone? Everyone, can I just have your attention? Has anyone seen a small-Stop that tiny blonde woman! She stole my baby!

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40377

63. Hi.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40382

64. Hi. All right. Travel safe, Angela.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40384

65. What's that? Oh, yeah, back then I did. Just now. So, don't, because I've got my eye on you.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40386

66. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. I did.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Quote 40391

67. Some events are so news worthy, so historic, that you have to stop everything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral. Things that if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40441

68. Okay?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40452

69. You play?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40502

70. You can't even do that.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40504

71. [changes channel during commercial, sports scores appear on screen.]

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40546

72. Oh, it was commercial break so I just wanted to check the scores.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40548

73. Okay...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40550

74. Hey.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40588

75. I don't know about, love...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40590

76. Well I think enemy's a strong word. 'Cause I think we have a really charming back and forth. And-

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40598

77. I don't think that's gonna...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40602

78. What kind of pizza would you like?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40604

79. That's not gonna make your pizza eating experience any better. Trust me.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40621

80. Okay...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40625

81. You need to stop talking.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40629

82. Okay...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40633

83. I'm going home, and I'm taking my baby with me.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40635

84. I'm not gonna-

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Quote 40640

85. Uh, it's saying the server went down? Does Anybody know that password? 'Cause otherwise we can't do any work.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40712

86. Nope.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40714

87. No.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40716

88. Okay, I'm not doing every number.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40718

89. Why don't we just call the I.T. Guy who set it up? What's the name of the guy in Glasses, again?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40723

90. I'm trying everything.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40731

91. That's-- the password. We're in.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40733

92. All right, Thank you, I will--I will send the contracts over right away. All Right. Whoo!

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40788

93. I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest--if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40789

94. Mm-Kay, Well, it can't be zero, Kev.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40791

95. What are you talking about? We--we have a commission cap?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40794

96. A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell. So you realize I now have no reason to work, right?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40798

97. Nope.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40800

98. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40802

99. Well, since I have no incentive to sell, I've cleaned my car, organized my desk, and taken a multivitamin. So... what now?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40838

100. Pam. Okay, now I've tried everything.

     Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40839