Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 46)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 46 of 69

1. Ok.

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2. Wait, wait, wait. That's actually a really good idea Kelly.

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3. Dwight, how about this? Instead of boycotting, you and I, together, go down to that store and we teach those snobs a lesson.

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4. Alright.

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5. No, no. I want to hear you tell it.

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6. Before me stands your coworker, Dwight Kurt Schrute. Dwight, show them all sides. Turn around. Now, today, we need your help turning Dwight into a gentleman.

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7. No, this is instead of the boycott. Yeah?

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8. Agreed.

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9. We present to you for your comments and approval, Dwight K. Shrute.

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10. Wish us luck!

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11. Is that what you were here for? A crystal wizard? I like it.

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12. Wait a second. You know you can't buy that now, right? And I can come back and get it for you later. But I'm saying right now, we can't do that.

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13. That's it.

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14. Stop, stop, stop.

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15. Did you just say you remember him?

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16. What does that mean?

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17. Lets just go.

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18. There it is. Alright.

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19. That's pretty good.

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20. Yes!

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21. It's my own fault-

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22. Really?

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23. For a lot of reasons.

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24. You should actually thank Erin, she's the one who agreed to babysit.

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25. Everything's fine.

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26. We can relax. Let's get our Sweeney on.

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27. Okay, I think everybody just needs to relax.

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28. Oh, my God.

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29. Okay, this was pretty simple-

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30. Really, all you had to do was play with her for, like, 30 minutes and then put her to bed.

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31. Well, the car seat was to take her to the hospital, or...

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32. No, we're good. Thank you, though.

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33. Alright, well, we're never leaving the house again.

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34. It's like The Hurt Locker!

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35. No, it was not a disaster. It was weird, but it wasn't a disaster. I think we have, like, a gift bottle of Irish cream.

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36. We could put that in orange juice.

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37. Yeah?

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38. Yeah!

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39. That was like, ten years ago.

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40. Nope, it's because it's genitalia.

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41. Am I blocking anybody? Can everybody see?

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42. Good!

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43. Are you sure you once knew how to do this?

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44. Just steer more now.

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45. No! No!

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46. Amazing. How do I look?

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47. Well, I do the best with what I've got. Let's go.

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48. He's not the Steve Nash. He's big though. He's kind of like...Scranton's Steve Nash.

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49. I'm not doing that. I'm just explaining.

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50. Phoenix Sun's point guard?

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51. No? Nothin'?

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52. Well, I'm neither of those things, so...

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53. Oh, ha ha ha. Dwight...[motions to lobby]

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54. Well, by worst, you mean the best.

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55. So, the situation is the worst.

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56. No, he didn't.

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57. Tell 'em.

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58. What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled.

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59. Yeah, I thought you started it.

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60. Ahhh.

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61. Okay, great-

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62. -I'm just gonna watch.

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63. How are ya?

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64. Dwight!

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65. Hey, it's Jim. Listen, this is important. Are you busy?

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66. Listen, you gotta get over here, 'cause we're pitching Steve Nash and Danny Cordray is here.

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67. Yes.

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68. The big gun thing. Stop!

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69. No, that's him.

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70. Nope, not doing that.

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71. Showtime!

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72. No, I didn't.

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73. Is that your office?

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74. A what?

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75. I think you mean The Sting.

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76. Nope. Different movie.

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77. Meredith was the perfect choice to play the head of the company. Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny and...that's it. That's really all we were looking for.

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78. Meredith Van Helsing?

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79. Okay. But what is he more famous for?

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80. You know this isn't real TV, right?

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81. Okay, he's not that good-looking. I don't understand why everybody's obsessed with this-

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82. We gotta get someone else in there right now.

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83. You're an exec at Pennsylvania Solartech and-

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84. What do you mean?

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85. Will you stop? Stop it, stop it. Here's the story-they need Meredith somewhere else asap, okay?

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86. So you're taking over. You just gotta get her out of there as soon as you can.

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87. Yes.

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88. Exactly. You can do this.

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89. Stop it! It's gonna be great.

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90. And listen if anything else happens, just...roll with it.

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91. Who else we got?

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92. Great. Sounds awesome. Just have him pitch to you.

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93. No, no, no, no...

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94. No, no, no, no.

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95. Michael, I think you really want to talk to him.

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96. You hired him?

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97. Did ya?

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98. I'm just kidding. She told me about it.

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99. Oh.

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100. Dwight, please.

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