Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 41)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 41 of 69

1. Look, there was a big mistake obviously, so I will fix it. Okay? This was your idea anyway.

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2. Okay.

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3. Guys, this isn't some elaborate scam, okay?

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4. Okay. That is me, but I didn't order the cake.

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5. This is Jim.

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6. Hey, uh David.

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7. So there was a little bit of a miscommunication here today. It's been a little wild, uh, but I am on it.

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8. No.

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9. I really don't know how it happened, David.

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10. All right, it will not happen again. I promise.

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11. Yeah. Thank you.

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12. Yes.

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13. See you.

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14. See you tomorrow, Dwight.

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15. Too loud.

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16. Too, too loud. Too Loud.

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17. Yeah.

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18. This is all we have.

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19. No, it's not 'ugh.' It is... office camaraderie.

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20. Why would you start so high?

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21. Three, two, one!

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22. No.

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23. We didn't, because we think it'd be better to do it together.

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24. Pam!

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25. Yes.

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26. Hey, Creed, we covered it. Lump of coal!

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27. Yeah.

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28. Yeah I told her a long time ago she could do it.

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29. No, I'm not gonna do that.

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30. I think she's doing a good job.

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31. I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis that she can't be Santa.

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32. I'm trying Phyllis. You're Santa.

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33. That's what I want.

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34. What would Bob do?

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35. Hey hey hey. Everything okay?

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36. Can I just talk to you for a second?

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37. You can't yell out 'I need this, I need this' as you pin down an employee on your lap!

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38. Yup.

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39. Michael, it's Phyllis. We want Phyllis as Santa.

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40. Great!

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41. Who wants Phyllis as Santa?

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42. And if you want Michael as Santa, raise your hand. Can I get you some punch?

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43. No.

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44. Not great. You heckled Santa for an hour and a half.

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45. What?

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46. What?

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47. Wait wait wait, who said that?

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48. What?

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49. Michael, wait. So they said we are sold?

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50. Okay. We haven't gone under. We've been sold and that can mean many different things.

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51. No, you won't, because he's not picking up his phone.

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52. Oh my God, David. That's horrible.

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53. Oh my God!

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54. Co-manager, actually.

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55. Trained. Loving it. Good at it. So...

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56. Thank you. Hey, we should be fine if we leave around 11:20.

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57. Well, now we won't get lost. Or we could drive. And that takes one minute.

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58. Turns out, a lot of parents want the very best for their children. That's weird.

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59. But if not, there's always the army. The infantry.

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60. So you've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering, 'What's going on?' Well, you're not alone.

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61. Ok, this is officially the cutest thing I've ever seen. Cubbies. I totally forgot about cubbies.

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62. Oh. Adorable, right? I walked in on someone in the bathroom.

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63. I just walked in on someone in the bathroom.

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64. I don't know. I don't know.

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65. I don't know, I don't know.

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66. Jerry.

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67. This is great. Got to confess, we came a little early, so we got a quick look around, but, uh -

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68. No, no, no, no. Yes. We saw this, yes. No, it wasn't like a look around. We really just had a peek. Quick peek. Didn't focus on anything in particular.

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69. Do it.

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70. We should just go. He's really uncomfortable.

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71. What if we just bring it up? We just put it out in the open?

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72. All right.

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73. There was one thing we were curious about, uh, your flexibility on things like Easter or Memorial Day, because we might want to change our days around a little bit.

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74. Oh, no, sorry. Just, um, we're kind of planners. But we're also flexible too, so you know what? Maybe we can just discuss it when the time comes.

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75. What?

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76. Did it? It might have come up while we were waiting for you.

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77. No.

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78. Oh, this coming from the guy who still uses a children's toilet? Why didn't you just lock the door, man?

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79. Anybody could have walked in.

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80. Whoa, whoa.

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81. I'll take over. Um, what we're doing here: Michael handles more of the 'big-picture' stuff, and I handle more of the day-to-day stuff, so together...

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82. Alright.

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83. No.

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84. I don't think so.

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85. I... Why would you just say something like that?

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86. Do you even know what that means?

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87. Um...

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88. This is way more than I make now.

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89. I don't think I'm gonna miss being manager. You know how some people say they're not in it for the money? Well, with all due respect to this job, I think I'm definitely in it for the money. And quite honestly, the women.

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90. Hey, you got a second?

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91. Actually, yeah.

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92. Exactly that. I think that you absolutely deserve the manager position more than I do.

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93. Yeah!

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94. Really.

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95. No, I really, really think Michael is better at being manager for so many reasons.

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96. Why would you do that?

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97. Mm!

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98. You gotta do something, man. You can't just sit there.

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99. What is that?

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100. Oh. I'm fine. Thank you, though.

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