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Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 40)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 40 of 69

  1. We have to do something because people are losing it out there wondering what's going to happen.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33650

  2. Listen, Wallace said these were just rumors, right? So we have no reason to think the company is anything but fine. So if we just go on with our work, you and me, they'll follow along.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33652

  3. That's it.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33654

  4. That rhymes, so what have we on the docket today?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33656

  5. Alright, let's conference room it up! Here's the deal guys. There is no new information as of yet, so I suggest we all just keep working.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33658

  6. Sure I'm a little nervous, but doing our work will make us feel better. I only slack off when things are good.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33659

  7. Customers have to use the coupon code from the website. And as of now there is no differentiation between the letter O and the zero, but we are working on that. Stay tuned for that.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33660

  8. OK, great.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33662

  9. Hey, I am wondering if this is a, uh, terrible idea.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33667

  10. I thought we agreed that we wouldn't do things like this.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33669

  11. Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33671

  12. And what Designing Woman are you basing that on?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33698

  13. OK, I'm going back to work.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33741

  14. OK, so Corporate is still in their meeting.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33746

  15. Alright guys, it's a work day and you guys work here, so let's go do some work.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33749

  16. Oh, hey, Michael. Listen, I brought up those sales targets. Do you want to-

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33752

  17. No, you're not reopening the case. The case is closed.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33754

  18. Or maybe he's just stuck in character.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33778

  19. Both. They're both worse.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33780

  20. It's going to be alright. We're a good company, we'll figure this out. We're not going under.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33781

  21. Michael, not now.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33784

  22. Michael, can I... OK, I'm just going to skip right past the what and go with why.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33788

  23. Michael, can I talk to you in your office?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33792

  24. Caleb!

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33794

  25. Today of all days...

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33795

  26. I'll take it.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33804

  27. Hey David.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33805

  28. Oh, OK.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33807

  29. Sure. Oh, you know, while I have you... today I was working on this pitch for a supermarket chain, and it would actually be a big account and I wanted to-

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33809

  30. OK.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33811

  31. See ya.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33813

  32. Nothing yet.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33815

  33. Well there is some bad news. There has been another murder.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33817

  34. Conference room everyone.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33819

  35. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33821

  36. I think today was a good day to have two managers. 'Cause if you're a family stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, one parent might want to just keep rowing. But if the other parent wants to play a game, it's not because they're crazy. It's because they're doing it for the kids. And I get that now.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33825

  37. Andy revealed himself to be a double agent. At which point Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was double agent. And then Michael announced to everybody that - get this- he was a double agent. Oh, and it is 6:00.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33835

  38. Really?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33836

  39. Yeah, I want to go home.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33838

  40. Five years ago, corporate said we had to start a recycling program for Earth Day so Dwight took the lead on that and introduced us to a very close friend of his named Recyclops.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33842

  41. The next year he really stepped things up.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33844

  42. A year after that Recylcops really began to take shape.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33846

  43. Then tragedy struck Recyclops when his fictional planet was attacked by some other fictitious thing... I can't remember.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33848

  44. I think this was also the year he renounced Earth Day and vowed to the destroy the planet he once loved.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33850

  45. Mmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33860

  46. God bless you, Recyclops. And your cold robot heart.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33862

  47. Hey, Ryan. Could you start consolidating all our Rolodex information into Outlook?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33914

  48. But if the company doesn't go under then we'll finally have all our contacts in one program.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33916

  49. Could go either way.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33918

  50. Maybe we should just wait and find out.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33920

  51. Ok.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33922

  52. Nah. Might as well do it now.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33924

  53. Hey, Phyllis. Are you just getting back from lunch now?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33987

  54. Ok. You shouldn't be telling me that stuff and also shouldn't be taking two hour lunches without telling me.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33989

  55. I care about them and I'm just as much of a boss as Michael. What's so funny? I'm a co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33991

  56. Well - who? How did you? Who, who told you this?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33994

  57. Ok. Who else has heard the rumor that I am not as much in charge as Michael?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33998

  58. Who here heard it from Ryan?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34000

  59. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34002

  60. I am just as much of a boss as Michael and I can do anything that Michael can do. Alright? Who here believes that I have as much power as Michael?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34004

  61. I gotta make an example out of him. Should I just fire him?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34018

  62. To be honest, I don't know, but maybe I could just yell at him in front of people.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34020

  63. Oh, well I yell. You've heard me yell.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34022

  64. Well, that was apple-picking day and there's no need to yell that day, you know. I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34024

  65. Hey, Ryan. How's it going?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34031

  66. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34033

  67. Simple data entry, though. So there's really only one way to do it.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34035

  68. You know what?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34037

  69. I think I know the problem.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34039

  70. I think you seem distracted.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34041

  71. But, you know what? I came up with something and I think it's really gonna help.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34043

  72. I am, too. Let me show you.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34045

  73. I think this is really gonna help. If you could just hold up here one second. Hey, guys. Quick announcement. If I could just have everyone's attention. I just figured you needed a place where you can concentrate and not be bothered by bothering people.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34071

  74. Let me show you what I mean. Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done. Well, not done.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34073

  75. Right.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34075

  76. You're a good kid. You know what? It gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy it.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34077

  77. Wait, are you the patient or the doctor?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34128

  78. Wow, what do you put our chances at?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34130

  79. Hmm, sounds risky.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34132

  80. Wow, that's not such a bad idea.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34135

  81. Anything else?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34137

  82. Hey. What's up?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34151

  83. Did you murder someone?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34153

  84. I think she's okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34157

  85. Great. Hey, how do you feel about starting an Employee of the Month program?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34159

  86. You're not in it at all, because you can't be employee of the month, you're a manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34161

  87. It would look bad. Sorry.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34163

  88. Not much.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34196

  89. Thanks Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34198

  90. You're creeping me out. I'm gonna go.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34200

  91. Let me guess, you think you should get it.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34202

  92. Well, in an ideal world...

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34204

  93. Okay, if it's all the same to you, I'm just going to take away 'Survival Skills' and 'Self-defense.'

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34206

  94. That's okay, I'll do it.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34208

  95. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Welcome. I know you're all very excited, but no matter who gets this, I just want to say that you are all employees of the monthin my eyes. And the winner is, employee number nine. And that is?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34249

  96. Okay, wait, I was not... I did not-

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34254

  97. Guys, listen. This was anonymous, all right? There is no way I could've given it to myself because I didn't even know who was on here. I just gave it to the employee with the highest overall score.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34256

  98. Will everybody stop for a second, because obviously I'm not taking any of it. A mistake has been made and we'll figure it out. Second of all, there was no cash prize.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34258

  99. Dwight?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34260

  100. No, Dwight, I meant... Yes, in a perfect world, someone would get money. But-

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34262