Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 40)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 40 of 69

1. We have to do something because people are losing it out there wondering what's going to happen.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33650

2. Listen, Wallace said these were just rumors, right? So we have no reason to think the company is anything but fine. So if we just go on with our work, you and me, they'll follow along.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33652

3. That's it.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33654

4. That rhymes, so what have we on the docket today?

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33656

5. Alright, let's conference room it up! Here's the deal guys. There is no new information as of yet, so I suggest we all just keep working.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33658

6. Sure I'm a little nervous, but doing our work will make us feel better. I only slack off when things are good.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33659

7. Customers have to use the coupon code from the website. And as of now there is no differentiation between the letter O and the zero, but we are working on that. Stay tuned for that.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33660

8. OK, great.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33662

9. Hey, I am wondering if this is a, uh, terrible idea.

   Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33667

10. I thought we agreed that we wouldn't do things like this.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33669

11. Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33671

12. And what Designing Woman are you basing that on?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33698

13. OK, I'm going back to work.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33741

14. OK, so Corporate is still in their meeting.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33746

15. Alright guys, it's a work day and you guys work here, so let's go do some work.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33749

16. Oh, hey, Michael. Listen, I brought up those sales targets. Do you want to-

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33752

17. No, you're not reopening the case. The case is closed.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33754

18. Or maybe he's just stuck in character.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33778

19. Both. They're both worse.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33780

20. It's going to be alright. We're a good company, we'll figure this out. We're not going under.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33781

21. Michael, not now.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33784

22. Michael, can I... OK, I'm just going to skip right past the what and go with why.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33788

23. Michael, can I talk to you in your office?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33792

24. Caleb!

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33794

25. Today of all days...

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33795

26. I'll take it.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33804

27. Hey David.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33805

28. Oh, OK.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33807

29. Sure. Oh, you know, while I have you... today I was working on this pitch for a supermarket chain, and it would actually be a big account and I wanted to-

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33809

30. OK.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33811

31. See ya.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33813

32. Nothing yet.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33815

33. Well there is some bad news. There has been another murder.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33817

34. Conference room everyone.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33819

35. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33821

36. I think today was a good day to have two managers. 'Cause if you're a family stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, one parent might want to just keep rowing. But if the other parent wants to play a game, it's not because they're crazy. It's because they're doing it for the kids. And I get that now.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33825

37. Andy revealed himself to be a double agent. At which point Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was double agent. And then Michael announced to everybody that - get this- he was a double agent. Oh, and it is 6:00.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33835

38. Really?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33836

39. Yeah, I want to go home.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33838

40. Five years ago, corporate said we had to start a recycling program for Earth Day so Dwight took the lead on that and introduced us to a very close friend of his named Recyclops.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33842

41. The next year he really stepped things up.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33844

42. A year after that Recylcops really began to take shape.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33846

43. Then tragedy struck Recyclops when his fictional planet was attacked by some other fictitious thing... I can't remember.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33848

44. I think this was also the year he renounced Earth Day and vowed to the destroy the planet he once loved.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33850

45. Mmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33860

46. God bless you, Recyclops. And your cold robot heart.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33862

47. Hey, Ryan. Could you start consolidating all our Rolodex information into Outlook?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33914

48. But if the company doesn't go under then we'll finally have all our contacts in one program.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33916

49. Could go either way.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33918

50. Maybe we should just wait and find out.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33920

51. Ok.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33922

52. Nah. Might as well do it now.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33924

53. Hey, Phyllis. Are you just getting back from lunch now?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33987

54. Ok. You shouldn't be telling me that stuff and also shouldn't be taking two hour lunches without telling me.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33989

55. I care about them and I'm just as much of a boss as Michael. What's so funny? I'm a co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33991

56. Well - who? How did you? Who, who told you this?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33994

57. Ok. Who else has heard the rumor that I am not as much in charge as Michael?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33998

58. Who here heard it from Ryan?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34000

59. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34002

60. I am just as much of a boss as Michael and I can do anything that Michael can do. Alright? Who here believes that I have as much power as Michael?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34004

61. I gotta make an example out of him. Should I just fire him?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34018

62. To be honest, I don't know, but maybe I could just yell at him in front of people.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34020

63. Oh, well I yell. You've heard me yell.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34022

64. Well, that was apple-picking day and there's no need to yell that day, you know. I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34024

65. Hey, Ryan. How's it going?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34031

66. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34033

67. Simple data entry, though. So there's really only one way to do it.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34035

68. You know what?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34037

69. I think I know the problem.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34039

70. I think you seem distracted.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34041

71. But, you know what? I came up with something and I think it's really gonna help.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34043

72. I am, too. Let me show you.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34045

73. I think this is really gonna help. If you could just hold up here one second. Hey, guys. Quick announcement. If I could just have everyone's attention. I just figured you needed a place where you can concentrate and not be bothered by bothering people.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34071

74. Let me show you what I mean. Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done. Well, not done.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34073

75. Right.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34075

76. You're a good kid. You know what? It gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy it.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34077

77. Wait, are you the patient or the doctor?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34128

78. Wow, what do you put our chances at?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34130

79. Hmm, sounds risky.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34132

80. Wow, that's not such a bad idea.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34135

81. Anything else?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34137

82. Hey. What's up?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34151

83. Did you murder someone?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34153

84. I think she's okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34157

85. Great. Hey, how do you feel about starting an Employee of the Month program?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34159

86. You're not in it at all, because you can't be employee of the month, you're a manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34161

87. It would look bad. Sorry.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34163

88. Not much.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34196

89. Thanks Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34198

90. You're creeping me out. I'm gonna go.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34200

91. Let me guess, you think you should get it.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34202

92. Well, in an ideal world...

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34204

93. Okay, if it's all the same to you, I'm just going to take away 'Survival Skills' and 'Self-defense.'

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34206

94. That's okay, I'll do it.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34208

95. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Welcome. I know you're all very excited, but no matter who gets this, I just want to say that you are all employees of the monthin my eyes. And the winner is, employee number nine. And that is?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34249

96. Okay, wait, I was not... I did not-

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34254

97. Guys, listen. This was anonymous, all right? There is no way I could've given it to myself because I didn't even know who was on here. I just gave it to the employee with the highest overall score.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34256

98. Will everybody stop for a second, because obviously I'm not taking any of it. A mistake has been made and we'll figure it out. Second of all, there was no cash prize.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34258

99. Dwight?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34260

100. No, Dwight, I meant... Yes, in a perfect world, someone would get money. But-

     Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34262