Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 38)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 38 of 69

1. And Beesly. Tonight we're in two seperate rooms and tomorrow night is the honeymoon suite.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31783

2. I know. We're pretty excited, too.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31785

3. I don't like that.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31791

4. Dad, remember, no mention of the baby, right?

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31845

5. Mom, Dad. This is Michael Scott.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31848

6. Michael, I thought we discussed that we would rather you not speak, like, at all. Because it's just going to be blood relatives, I think.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31855

7. Pretty sure everyone heard that.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31857

8. Mr. Beesly. How are ya?

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31863

9. Oh. Is this, uh, is this your niece?

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31865

10. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31919

11. Alright. Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31921

12. Aw, thanks, Pete. That was really nice. I just want to say how happy we are that all of you are here tonight. And I want to especially thank those of you who traveled from far away to be here with us tonight... especially the Florida cousins who, obviously, can't take a hint. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do... which was just to wait. Uh, don't get me wrong. I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of my friends and family that I do know how to make a photo copy. Didn't need your help that many times. And do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive a stick?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31923

13. I've been driving stick since high school. So... yes. For a really long time that's all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife. So... I would like to propose a toast. So if you'd all raise your glasses. Not Pam, for obvious reasons, but everyone else. If you would raise your glasses--

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31925

14. Pam can't drink? I didn't-- I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did. She can do whatever she wants, though she shouldn't. She shouldn't because she's an alcoholic. Pam is an alcoholic. That's not true. I-- no. What we want-- the real reason is that, that Pam's pregnant.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31927

15. Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31931

16. Oh, my God. Please.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31933

17. Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31939

18. To waiting.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31941

19. I can't believe it was me.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31946

20. Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31948

21. I'm so sorry.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31951

22. Oh, my God. Are you serious?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31954

23. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32030

24. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32032

25. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32034

26. Look, I would so take him in any other circumstance, but I'm pretty certain I'm completely wasted.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32036

27. Uh...

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32038

28. And Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32041

29. Pam, it just happened.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32043

30. I love you. Okay, I gotta--I gotta go!

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32045

31. No. Let's talk for a long time.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32048

32. That's not how that works.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32053

33. I may have told some people that. I'm nervous. I'm about to get married.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32136

34. Hey!

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32154

35. Is this allowed?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32156

36. Wow. You look--

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32167

37. So beautiful. Hey--

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32169

38. Hey. You look just as I imagined you would. Pam, you're so pretty.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32171

39. And who cares? It's a stupid veil, right?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32173

40. There. Now we're even.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32175

41. Well we are here now, so let's just--

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32221

42. You look great.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32223

43. I bought those boat tickets the day I saw that You Tube video. I knew we'd need a back-up plan. The boat was actually Plan C. The church was Plan B and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32237

44. Hello?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32327

45. Oscar! Uh, what is going on?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32329

46. Look, We're in Puerto Rico, so-

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32331

47. Hello?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32494

48. Michael?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32496

49. How did you get this number? Michael, we're on a catamaran.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32498

50. That sounds bad.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32500

51. I'm gonna help you through it all right?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32502

52. All you're gonna need to and- it- and then go to--

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32504

53. And then you'll be saved.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32506

54. Just and then you'll be saved.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32508

55. A- ah--

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32510

56. And you'll be saved.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32512

57. I at the Bermuda Triangle. An- M- please don't call again.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32514

58. It was.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32595

59. Really was.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32597

60. Puerto Rico was awesome.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32599

61. Frank and Beans. Always makes her laugh.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32601

62. Nope.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32610

63. Do we have a conversation scheduled?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32623

64. Wow, that's... really thoughtful of you, Dwight, thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32625

65. It's a real handsome duck.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32629

66. Well, that's great. Congratulations. Who's the lucky lady?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32642

67. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32644

68. You're messing with me.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32646

69. You did not have sex with Pam's mom.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32648

70. What kind of car does she drive?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32650

71. [expletive]

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32652

72. Oh my God. Oh my God.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32654

73. Okay, never tell Pam, and secondly-

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32656

74. Oh my God.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32658

75. Not now, Toby, my God!

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32660

76. Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that, and please, for both our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32664

77. No, not more than anything.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32666

78. Don't call her 'the mom.'

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32668

79. Then take a different way home, man!

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32670

80. Okay, so we're good.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32672

81. Frank and beans!

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32678

82. You know what? Can I have the weekend to decide?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32680

83. You know what, I am really slammed, trying to catch up on everything here and I know that Michael's slammed too. So, maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32682

84. No, it-

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32684

85. Uh, I think we should just drop it... 'cause obviously he doesn't want to talk about it.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32699

86. Yes, you do.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32701

87. Just take the parrot.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32703

88. Okay, back to the old grind.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32705

89. Don't-

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32708

90. Sounds complicated.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32710

91. Who wants a hot chocolate?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32731

92. Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift, and I found a recording device in it. Yes. So, I think if I played it just right I can get Dwight to play out the plot of National Treasure.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32733

93. Andy, can I talk to you for a second?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32735

94. [holding up a sign that reads, 'Dwight picked the wrong day to put a wooden mallard in my office']

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32737

95. I am gonna need your advice I was thinking about getting this opera for Dwight's birthday, what do you think?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32739

96. Really?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32741

97. I was gonna go with this one.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32743

98. And whoever comes up with the best idea gets a $50 gift certificate to the restaurant of his or her choice.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32753

99. Yes! Angela! Please...

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32766

100. Yes! I think we should look into that. If you could just speak up louder...

     Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32770