Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 39)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 39 of 69

1. Yes.

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32778

2. Nothing... nothing at all... it's all good!

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32780

3. Barely, I... I don't have all the facts. Frank and Bean...

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32864

4. Hey...

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32874

5. Yep...

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32876

6. Dwight, you brought the mallard back.

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32878

7. Hi buddy.

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32880

8. A wooden duck?

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32882

9. Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this and you are not equipped for espionage...

   Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32884

10. Silence.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32886

11. I won't. But, you will wash and buff our car.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32888

12. Hey Pam, can I see you for a second? So, Dwight heard you were having a really rough day. So he generously offered to wash our car.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32893

13. Yes, he did. You know what was nice, night swimming in Bayou bay.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32895

14. Remember that older couple whose kids were also named Jim and Pam?

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32897

15. Well, we went on a Segway tour and we're awesome at it and Frank and Beans!

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32899

16. Yeah... maybe.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32901

17. You're not, nope. Nope.

    Season 6 · Episode 6 · Quote 32903

18. We are doing a haunted house this Halloween. Which is actually kinda spooky because, as legend has it, on this very site there used to be a productive paper company.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32910

19. Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Book Face.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32923

20. Wow.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32932

21. I bet we would.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32934

22. Cool.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32936

23. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32938

24. Who doesn't?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32940

25. Oh. Actually, it's just gonna be me.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32943

26. That is a mistake.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32945

27. Alright. Let's clear this up. Well, there's actually been a few changes in the company and Michael and I are actually at the same level. So, I can- no. Nope. Why would that be a problem?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32947

28. Great. See ya' then.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32949

29. They said that they would feel more comfortable if you came along.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32951

30. I absolutely don't understand, either.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32953

31. Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32955

32. Sure. Michael's a good teacher. A teacher is someone who stands right next to you your whole life and never lets you do anything. That's what a teacher is, right?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32957

33. Dave.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32959

34. Dave.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32961

35. Yeah. I've spoken to them on the phone.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32963

36. Yes, it is.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32965

37. No thanks.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32967

38. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32969

39. ...and paper.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32971

40. Nope. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32973

41. He's trying to micro-co-manage me... or co-micro... manage... me.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32974

42. I outran it.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32991

43. I'll just leave that suit in your office then.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 32996

44. Mmm... it's like Michael said. It was some- something else.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33012

45. Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in. It was... how long it took him to get out.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33020

46. Ok. Great meeting, everybody. That's it.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33116

47. I think you just gotta ride this one out, man.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33127

48. No, they don't.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33129

49. Maybe if you make fun of yourself it'll all go away.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33131

50. Really? Do it. I am a big, stupid goofball.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33133

51. See?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33135

52. Mm... I'm, know what? Maybe we should go easy on Michael, guys. You know, you watch that tape and you're gonna have to stay late for more sensitity training, so...

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33148

53. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ok. Yeah. We're not watchin' this.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33172

54. What happened to 'Do Not Mock'?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33174

55. That will inevitably lead to mocking. So...

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33176

56. Guys. Michael can't handle this and as your boss I'm saying we're not watching it.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33183

57. What are you doing?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33185

58. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33187

59. See what?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33192

60. Oscar, yes. You're right to stop it. Thank you. Eject it.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33194

61. Oh... man. I thinke when I started to see you go in I think I just froze.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33197

62. It's a killer new dance move. Do you wanna talk in your office?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33199

63. I didn't ask you. Would you like to talk?

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33201

64. I should've grabbed you. I'm sorry. Look, I thought I could've done today's sales call alone. I mean, I may never be as good a salesman as you are, but I at least need the chance to do the job.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33204

65. He's alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33209

66. Thanks Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 7 · Quote 33211

67. Oh man, that's crazy. Right as we were on our way out too.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33282

68. Rarely. If ever. Let me give it a whirl. I'll talk to them.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33284

69. That's okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33286

70. It's my pleasure. Hello? Well that's great. Turns out the paper was there all along.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33288

71. Pam's sales are fine actually.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33294

72. Wow.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33333

73. Oh, burn. Burn on you... and a little bit on me, too.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33347

74. Definitely Grandma.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33357

75. Penny for your thoughts.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33400

76. Wow.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33402

77. Shel Silverstein.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33408

78. You set the bar so high.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33417

79. Okay, so--

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33443

80. Stop.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33450

81. Hey.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33509

82. Inappropriate.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33511

83. All the time.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33513

84. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33515

85. She wants it bad Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33517

86. I can.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33519

87. And I don't support her choice to hit you.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33521

88. But at the same time she looks crazy and I do understand her reasoning.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33523

89. I just need some time.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33525

90. I just need some time. Just give me some time to make a decision.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33527

91. No more than a week. Maybe two weeks.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33529

92. Feel better?

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33574

93. Once a year Dwight holds a seminar updating us on the newest developments in the world of karate... because as we all know, the one thing thousand year martial arts do all the time is change.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33594

94. OK, so there's no defense for that, good to know.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33596

95. OK, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33600

96. So let's just say that Dwight has come at you with the throat punch. Now how would you, Dwight, defend against it?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33602

97. And what if he comes at you with the other hand, because he does have two.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33604

98. Oh my God, he's making you look like such a fool.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33606

99. You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33608

100. Are you serious?

     Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33630