Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 36)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 36 of 69

1. Ok. Right. Oh, so this morning we are having breakfast together and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, ' You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you.'

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30259

2. That makes sense.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30292

3. These are for you.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30441

4. You ready?

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30443

5. We should probably stop by. It'd mean a lot to him.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30445

6. We're gonna stay.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30455

7. Yeah. At least for one more dance.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30457

8. Yes.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30460

9. Me, too.

   Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30462

10. Me, too.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30464

11. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30466

12. Michael had chicken potpie for lunch. Actually, let me rephrase that, Michael had an entire chicken pot pie for lunch, and- let me be more specific. Michael ate an entire family-sized chicken potpie for lunch and then he promptly fell asleep, so we're all trying to be very quiet so as to not wake him up before 5:00 pm. Which, actually, should be in about... ten minutes.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30512

13. Okay, I'm gonna go in there and change the computer. Are you sure you can change his watch?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30513

14. Three, two, one...

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30519

15. All right, you ready for this?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30525

16. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30527

17. Wait, should I have left the car running?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30529

18. Come on, who doesn't like a picnic?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30531

19. I had this huge spider in my baseball mitt.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30533

20. Oh, right, some drunk guy hit on Pam last year. Said he was grabbing her for balance.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30535

21. Well...

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30537

22. Hey, how are you?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30560

23. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30563

24. I don't get it. He's not even my boss anymore.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30565

25. No, I shouldn't have to ask you to do stuff like that. You should just do it.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30567

26. Well, I could've died, so... I looked it up online afterwards.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30569

27. Nice job, Beesly.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30616

28. You all right?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30728

29. You sure?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30730

30. Hey, easy, easy...

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30732

31. All right, you know what? You're just trying to get rid of our best player.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30737

32. No, uh-

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30739

33. All right, you know what? Let's do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30744

34. Yeah, she's with the nurse right now, so you'll have to stall a little longer... No, don't send in the subs yet... Dwight, I don't know. Think of something!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30759

35. Oh, Dwight, we're so close! Just buy us a few more minutes... Well, they just called me in for an update, so I'll call you right back... Okay... Okay, great. Hey, Dwight, uh... send in the subs! Ohh!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30783

36. This... is Parkour. Internet sensation of 2004. And it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible, so technically they are doing Parkour, as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30788

37. Well, with her being unmarried... knocked up by some guy, I mean the yakity-yaks in this office would have a field day.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30828

38. Wait, there's not gonna be a shotgun?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30830

39. No shotgun... 'cause that changes everything.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30832

40. What are you gonna do about it? There's no shotgun, so... free at last, free at last!

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30834

41. You have to stop this.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30893

42. I did. From you. You gotta stop telling people.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30895

43. Do you know if it's true? Do you have any idea? Because you might be ruining his life.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30897

44. You're gonna regret that when you find yourself between a moose and her cubs.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30974

45. Oh, I don't really do that. But Pam might have some friends, though.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30979

46. Yep.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30981

47. Are you... interested in her guy friends?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30983

48. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30985

49. Really.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30987

50. Well you gotta figure this out.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30989

51. Yeah!

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30991

52. You gotta have sex with a woman.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30993

53. And a man.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30995

54. And then compare.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30997

55. Yep.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 30999

56. On what?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31001

57. [looks around room nervously]

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31003

58. Can I talk to you for a second?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31008

59. So, they know.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31009

60. I didn't tell anyone! Who did you tell?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31011

61. Hey, has everyone heard a crazy rumor about themselves today?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31017

62. Yeah, sure, but... who's been saying all that stuff?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31020

63. Michael, don't.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31033

64. Michael...

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31035

65. That Pam's pregnant.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31057

66. Okay. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31060

67. Four months.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31067

68. Nope.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31071

69. Thank you for trying to defend her. But actually, Pam is pregnant, and we can prove it.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31073

70. If everyone would like to see proof.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31075

71. Michael, we only told our parents last week.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31085

72. I did. It was inconclusive.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31087

73. Don't take it.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31095

74. You can't do this.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31099

75. That sounds terrible.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31101

76. [gets up to leave room, Michael gestures for him to stay]

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31104

77. [hangs up Michael's phone, leaves room]

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31106

78. Sure.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31135

79. Ah, this is just me and David, if that's okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31138

80. Who was that?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31182

81. No, I won't. Alright, thanks for giving me your time, I appreciate it.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31218

82. I didn't tell Michael because I thought he'd try to help. Example, he handed out Jello shots at the 23rd mile of the Steamtown marathon.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31276

83. Sure.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31278

84. When you were in the office earlier talking to Wallace, did I come up at all?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31281

85. Why don't we head in your office to talk?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31283

86. Michael, look I'll just be honest with you. Earlier today I spoke with Wallace about a promotion. I actually think that talk went really well. And then after he spoke with you, for some reason it felt like things had changed.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31285

87. Michael, did you say anything?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31287

88. Really?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31289

89. You will? Wanna do it right now?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31291

90. I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have known that he can do just as much damage in the dark.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31293

91. How many times have I asked you to put me up for a branch manager job.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31335

92. So instead, you screwed me?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31337

93. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31339

94. Hi David.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31349

95. Wow, that sounds pretty cool.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31353

96. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31366

97. Ah, ah, ah. Where's the 'please'? We're not animals.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31387

98. No, not without a 'please.'

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31389

99. I'm sorry to hear about that. Who is this about?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31402

100. Okay. Just want to let you know I take complaints very seriously. So... When did this happen?

     Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31404