Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 35)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 35 of 69

1. No, I....

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2. Hey!

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3. Okay.

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4. There's the rundown you asked for. I may have expanded some areas that you weren't prepared for.

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5. Yeah sure. You want to look at it first?

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6. No. No, I just wanted to make sure, it was in the same format. So that distribution list is gonna be my...?

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7. The one I have. I'll use the one I have.

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8. Just faxing. My Dad. A rundown.

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9. Andy put down a bunch of deposits on stuff for his wedding with Angela, but then she was sleeping with Dwight for... several years. Wait, no, that can't be right.

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10. Anyway, now we are going bargain hunting in the haunted graveyard of their love.

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11. I am extremely interested. So, how much will all of this cost?

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12. I think she just didn't want a crucifix cake.

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13. Am I going down a road?

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14. It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.

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15. I was going to use today to purge my inbox, but now something much more pressing has come up.

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16. Hey, Andy. You know I've been thinkin about what you said-

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17. -I just don't know if I can do it.

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18. It's just that Pam gets me through the day, you know? I really rely on her. I'm pretty emotionally needy.

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19. You know that I was doin' this.

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20. Okay.

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21. I just totally blew a sales call.

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22. Yeah, well, with you it's different, okay? Cause I just- I just suck. I just- I suck!

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23. Why? When I look in the mirror, I don't like the face that looks back.

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24. Forget it.

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25. I said forget it.

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26. Oh, God.

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27. Hey.

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28. Okay.

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29. Two things I need you to understand. One, Pam and I are very happy together.

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30. And two, that stuff that happened with you and Angela is a bummer, and I know you don't think you're ever gonna find someone else, but you will. I promise you, you will.

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31. When I think of it like that, I do not think of the other connotations.

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32. Sorry. Her day.

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33. Are they looking at me?

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34. Everyone. Everyone just keeps looking at me.

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35. Will you just talk to them, please? Pam just knew!

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36. Oh, they're my client.

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37. Hey, David.

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38. [makes kissing, puckering sound]

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39. Now, would corporate approve a temporary price reduction for returning customers?

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40. Really? Does he do good work or--

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41. Hey. I saw you called.

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42. You're just out of business?

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43. Oh, yeah, well don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. We'll be okay.

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44. Oh, yeah. Only this time we will be okay. Oh, that's my new 'Dwight' ring.

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45. Good, right? Hello.

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46. Oh, okay. Don't worry about it.

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47. Now, this is the projection over three months?

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48. Oh, but you didn't.

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49. Oh, I don't know. You know, they've taken a good deal of clients, so--

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50. I mean I guess-- I guess I could go down there and try to nudge them in the right direction.

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51. Okay, so I'll be back in, um-- back in a bit.

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52. Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second?

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53. Actually here for something else.

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54. You know I love a good guessing game, but why don't I just tell you what I'm here for? Turns out you guys have made a pretty big dent in the Dunder Mifflin sales.

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55. David Wallace has asked me to come down here and see if you would be interested in Dunder Mifflin buying you out.

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56. Oh!

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57. Oh! See I'm here to learn as little information as possible. All I really need to hear is if your incredibly successful company would be receptive to a buyout.

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58. Three yeses. I will see you titans of industry upstairs.

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59. Missed the last part.

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60. Got it.

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61. Great work Dwight.

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62. No, I mean, great detective work. 'Cause this must be the first case you've ever cracked, right?

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63. What are your top five cases?

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64. Because you've solved zero cases.

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65. Got it.

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66. Can you give us a hint?

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67. Can I address that?

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68. Okay.

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69. Of course. What is like a hostage?

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70. Strongly-painted picture.

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71. Can I just say something? I know that tempers are high, but I think the best way to handle this might be to just talk to Michael directly.

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72. Great. See you upstairs.

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73. Hey, you have a second?

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74. Yeah, I think you're going to want to cool it with that 'cause it's starting to upset the other salesmen.

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75. This is awkward to talk about, but there may or may not be--but definitely is--a mutiny forming in the warehouse right now.

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76. I know. Yeah, it's...kinda--

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77. That's true. That's right. Yeah.

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78. Well, what if I just do this?

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79. I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.

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80. Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.

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81. Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?

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82. Sure. Let me just finish this turn.

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83. I don't want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan. You know that.

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84. Eh, she's nice, I guess. You know what? Best thing to do, Pros and Cons list.

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85. Well, that's--

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86. Cons, Ryan. He defrauded the company. He has never made a sale.

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87. He definitely stole my iPod.

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88. You didn't hear my pros. Environmentally-conscious 'cause his mom drives him to work everyday.

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89. Mm-hmm.

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90. That's not true.

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91. I think she'd be a really good salesperson.

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92. And I won't.

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93. All right. You're right, sometimes when she's tired, she can be a little bit shrill. But that's not a weird voice.

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94. Take it easy.

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95. Not cool.

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96. There are other reasons to go to Ohio.

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97. So, it turns out it's the closest place to get a marriage license without a 3 day waiting period.

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98. Ok. So, we're going through all the wedding plans and, boy, it is complicated.

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99. Very expensive. Cause you say you want a small wedding and that's great but then you have to invite -

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100. No one.

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