Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 34)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 34 of 69

1. Nope. I mean, I could have brought a change of clothes, or-

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28223

2. Hey, how you doing? Jim Halpert, sales. Just wanted to say, if you need anything, let me know.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28235

3. I didn't think you'd notice. Uh, it's funny actually, there's another salesman out here, Dwight Schrute, and he sent out this memo, as he always does, and, uh, it was about professionalism in the workplace. Of course, he singled me out. So I just had to mess with him.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28237

4. Oh, you'd understand if you read the memo which I should probably get you, there's probably one in a drawer... uh. It was pretty crazy. But, uh, not more crazy than wearing a tux, at work, I grant you that... so, uh.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28239

5. Jim Halpert, yep. So, um, just going to let you get back to it...

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28241

6. I thought it'd be funny.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28243

7. Thanks, Charles.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28348

8. No, I would like to get back to work, actually, please.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28394

9. You pet the animals and they pet you back.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28396

10. Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28413

11. Alright, Charles, I've gotta be honest. I think we really got off on the wrong foot here. And, truth be told, I'm a pretty smart guy, and, uh, a hard-worker. And a great number two for the office.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28415

12. Second-in-command to Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28417

13. Oh, that's because at first it was a made up position for Dwight, just to make him feel better, assistant to the regional manager. But then he lost that, and Michael gave it to me.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28419

14. Assistant regional manager, yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28421

15. No, not exactly.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28423

16. Alright, I will, um, I'm just gonna let you get back to that.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28425

17. Yep.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28427

18. See ya. See ya. Bye!

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28451

19. And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28452

20. About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28492

21. You called any headhunters?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28501

22. Right, cause that's what we are talking about.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28504

23. Its Monster dot com. Singular.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28553

24. Yeah... .you want me to come in your office? Oh.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28559

25. I would prefer not to.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28561

26. You're starting your own paper company?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28563

27. Why?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28565

28. Do you know the industry is in decline?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28567

29. Right.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28569

30. No, I did that before, it added nothing.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28571

31. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28573

32. I am not gonna do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28575

33. And you are not going to, either.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28577

34. Here's the thing. What I wish for you is that you land a job at a company that A, exists, and B, has a salary. Because they're set up to do that kind of thing.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28579

35. Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28582

36. Nothing, just talking.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28584

37. I didn't... no.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28586

38. I did have a chance to think about it, but then I thought about something else.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28700

39. Well it is tempting but I am 100% leaning towards something else.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28702

40. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28715

41. What? Pam!

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28717

42. Pam! You can't be serious.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28719

43. Still no.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28728

44. Michael, its not how you leave in an office. It how you...

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28733

45. I'll bring your stuff home. Okay, bye.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28735

46. You gonna answer that, Kev?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28743

47. Charles is having Kevin cover the phones for a while. How do I say this diplomatically? I think Kevin is doing exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like him to perform in a position like that.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28745

48. No. Stay there. Kev, thought we nailed the whole transfer thing earlier.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28747

49. It is transfer, extension, and then transfer again.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28749

50. Here we go.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28751

51. Kev, c'mon.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28754

52. Would you please stop that?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28785

53. You're breathing very heavily.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28787

54. No it's not.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28789

55. Oh no. I was just -

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28792

56. ... Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28794

57. I've never been a kiss up. I - it's just not how I operate. I mean, I've always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work. Half-heartedly.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28859

58. Uh, no. Nope. Not really.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28881

59. It's 'cause I'm more of a player.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28883

60. You bet.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28885

61. Well I do.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28887

62. I play.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28889

63. Well, maybe you should get back to work.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28891

64. Maybe we will someday.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28893

65. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28897

66. Let's... eh... see ya.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28905

67. Yep, I used to play soccer in school. From second to fourth grade. I was on the orange team.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28907

68. Oh, there he goes.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28956

69. Yikes.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28958

70. Aw, man.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28960

71. Oh! Goal!

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28962

72. Aw, it's gonna be the worst.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28964

73. Left.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28987

74. Forward, definitely.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28989

75. Striker!

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28991

76. Alright! Let's do it.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28993

77. Kickoff. My strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible. Chalk it up to teamwork. Alright!

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28995

78. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 29019

79. Okay, I'm just gonna go get some ice.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 29021

80. I'm sorry, Phyllis.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 29023

81. LOVE the hair.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29053

82. You realize you're not actually talking to me, right?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29058

83. The new receptionist is also named Kelly. So Kelly Kapoor has decided to hover around my desk, so that she can run into his Charles' office every time he calls for Kelly. She thinks if she says 'You wanted me' enough, he will in fact want her. It's not the worse plan she's ever had.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29063

84. Hi!

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29085

85. Sure!

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29087

86. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29089

87. What the hell's a rundown?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29090

88. When did you need that rundown by?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29091

89. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29093

90. Yeah. Gotcha. Of course. I'm gonna dive in. To the rundown. I'll be exhausted 'cause it's like a triathlon. Do you want to close this? Close, or keep it?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29095

91. Hey dude, you know what a 'rundown' is?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29178

92. Uh, can you get this rundown for me?'

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29180

93. This rundown better be really good'?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29182

94. Charles asked me to do this rundown of all my clients.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29184

95. No. I can't. It was like, hours ago.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29186

96. Oh, this is just something I'm taking a break with.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29197

97. I will get back to the rundown, uh, right now.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29199

98. Hey you know what? Do you have a rundown that I could take a look at, just so I know what type of rundown you're looking for ?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29201

99. Keeping it simple -that's what I'm doing. But I am working hard on this one. Real hard.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29203

100. No. Not too hard. Not harder than I should.

     Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29205